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08/09/2017 10:31PM   (Thread Older Than 3 Years)
We just returned from a trip. One of our campsites was near a portage and so we could overhear things people were saying sometimes. Our favorite was "I'm never wearing skinny jeans into the Boundary Waters again!"

From another trip, there was this one:

Guy 1: Watch out for that rock

Guy 2: ...

Guy 1: Watch out for that rock!

Guy 2: ...

(canoe smacks rock)

Guy 1: Dumbass!

What have you overheard in the BW that tickled your funny bone?
 
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riverrunner
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08/10/2017 06:57AM  
Mostly when a newbie opens their pack you brought that.
 
ozarkpaddler
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08/10/2017 07:53AM  
quote nojobro: "We just returned from a trip. One of our campsites was near a portage and so we could overhear things people were saying sometimes. Our favorite was "I'm never wearing skinny jeans into the Boundary Waters again!"
"


Someone's taking Stu's tip about wearing jeans to the BWCAW, huh (LOL)?

From a member in my own party years ago who was SUPPOSED to bring their own gear "I thought YOU brought tents for everybody?" Well, maybe more "Sad" than "Funny" at the time, but I laugh about it now (LOL)?
 
08/10/2017 08:14AM  
Meeting a strung out group of poorly prepared people on the Missing link portage. We were headed out to Round, they were headed in (their first portage).
Every last one of them asked, "are we almost to the end?"
 
08/10/2017 08:25AM  
"We got the 99 cent ponchos from the gas station, that will be plenty."

"Why would we need a rain fly?"

"We don't need to bring food. We'll catch it fishing."
 
08/10/2017 08:25AM  
I fished near a portage near an entry point one time and consistently over heard from women when their significant other wasn't around, "this portaging wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't carrying his ...expletive...tackle bag too"

After fishing I immediately broke down my tackle bag and made sure it was packed up in a Duluth style pack. After portaging my wife asked where the tackle bag was and I told her I was packing it different she replied "good, the portaging wasn't bad except for carrying that ...expletive...tackle bag of yours...thanks"

T
 
08/10/2017 08:30AM  
quote riverrunner: "Mostly when a newbie opens their pack you brought that."


Probably a gun and ten pounds of ammo!
 
08/10/2017 09:19AM  
quote timatkn: "I fished near a portage near an entry point one time and consistently over heard from women when their significant other wasn't around, "this portaging wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't carrying his ...expletive...tackle bag too"


After fishing I immediately broke down my tackle bag and made sure it was packed up in a Duluth style pack. After portaging my wife asked where the tackle bag was and I told her I was packing it different she replied "good, the portaging wasn't bad except for carrying that ...expletive...tackle bag of yours...thanks"


T"


:)
 
08/10/2017 09:20AM  
I was on a long solo trip and met a father/son tandem at a portage. They had a big old beast of a canoe and a jumble of giant packs, duffels, boots, fishing equipment, and one trash bag . . . with ? It all had to weigh 3X as much as mine and the canoe twice as much.

"How long you in for", he asked.

"Twelve days", I said. "

"Where's the rest of your stuff", he asked, as I shoved off.

"That's all of it", I said.

As I paddled away, I heard him say to his son, "You get people coming in here who just don't know what they're doing. I hope he makes it OK".

I was thinking the same thing.
 
08/10/2017 09:46AM  
If a bear comes, you dance around and distract him while I take out my knife and hamstring him from behind!
 
airmorse
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08/10/2017 10:01AM  
quote jcavenagh: "If a bear comes, you dance around and distract him while I take out my knife and hamstring him from behind!"


That is funny.
 
MikeinMpls
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08/10/2017 10:10AM  
Father, son and another guy come up to me on a portage, I can't remember exactly where (it was a long time ago.)

Father to me: "Can you show me where we are on the map?"

Me responding: "You're not on this map. You're off the map."

Father: "Oh, I wonder how that happened."

In all my trips, I've heard a lot of stuff. To me, what is said can be interesting, but the fact that I can hear anything at all is disturbing. I'm not talking about a bow and stern paddler conversing. I'm talking about one canoe yelling to another, several hundred yards away- "The portage is over there!" On my last trip, a group of three canoes passed my campsite, one of the canoes singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall..." The "singer" was on number 89 when she passed me.

Mike
 
QueticoMike
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08/10/2017 10:16AM  
( At the first portage ) Can you watch our packs, we need to go back to the entry point, we forgot the food pack back at the outfitters?
 
aholmgren
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08/10/2017 10:20AM  
at the 1st evenings dusk, of a multi day trip, as the mosquitoes hum began, I hear my often ill prepared trip mate mutter to himself 'oh no' Without surprise, I ask 'what now' and he replies 'I don't have long sleeves of any kind packed'

overheard a dad say to his son from the canoe, " ****, you know that new waterproof GPS mom gave me for Christmas, well it doesn't float"

 
MikeinMpls
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08/10/2017 10:21AM  
quote QueticoMike: "( At the first portage ) Can you watch our packs, we need to go back to the entry point, we forgot the food pack back at the outfitters?
"


Mike in Minneapolis burying his head in his hands.......

Mike in Minneapolis
 
08/10/2017 10:36AM  
quote cowdoc: "Meeting a strung out group of poorly prepared people on the Missing link portage. We were headed out to Round, they were headed in (their first portage).
Every last one of them asked, "are we almost to the end?""


Hope they weren't going to Tuscarora!
 
riverrunner
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08/10/2017 10:54AM  
quote Freddy: "
quote riverrunner: "Mostly when a newbie opens their pack you brought that."



Probably a gun and ten pounds of ammo!"


Electric hair dyers, all kinds of cosmetics, a complete croquet set, a two foot tall bong are among some of the strangest things I seen in the wilderness.

Full size coolers and ice on a trip that requires a lot portaging . It is very common to hear why did I bring that.



 
paddlefamily
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08/10/2017 11:09AM  
These are all super entertaining.

I can't seem to recall anything good other than, "you didn't tell me that this portage had a hill".



 
08/10/2017 12:21PM  
I was on Poplar lake waiting at the first portage into Lizz lake, I was heading in for a day trip to fish. I pulled into the little bay with the portage landing at a group of teenagers and two adults had the entire landing covered in canoes, paddles, fishing poles, and packs laying all over the place. I waited in the water a polite distance away to give them time to get sorted and get loaded up and on their way. I overheard the teens talking about how glad they were to be almost done although it was probably 9am in the morning so they couldn't have been traveling for very long. It seemed clear it was their exit day. The part that had me both laughing and shaking my head is that when the last adult finished the last leg of the portage he pulled out his map and said "Ok now where is our next portage". When he said it he was standing on the shores of Poplar lake outside the BWCA. I couldn't understand how he had made it the entire trip with navigation skills that were so clearly lacking. The trip from Caribou to Poplar is not a route you get lost on or even disoriented. When I heard him say that I realized that group wasn't going anywhere anytime soon as they had a lot to sort out so I finally just creeped up and asked them to make room for us to get through, they didn't really so I ended up having to step over packs and their paddles to get the canoe out of the water and start down the portage.

I was tempted to set the map guy straight as to where they were but he was in no danger of getting tragically lost so I left him and his group to figure things out for themselves. I suspect the teens were so eager to get home because their leader probably had them paddling in circles the entire trip trying to figure out where the next portage was.
 
bottomtothetap
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08/10/2017 12:33PM  
A lot of them over the years...

A couple that come to mind:

"You mean I'm really going to have to get my feet wet? Are you sure there isn't a way around it? These are the only socks I brought and I don't wan to get them wet"

...as another group's dog is wandering around freely at portage landing, "Marv, you should probably get a handle on that dog. If he craps in someone else's canoe again like the other day, I wouldn't blame them at all if they're bothered by it." Our group hearing this led to a long-running joke of stating obvious instructions and prefacing them with "Marv..." no matter was talking to who. Examples: "Marv, you should probably gather some wood. If we try to start a fire without out wood we just won't get it to stay burning." or, "Marv, You should probably carry that pack across the portage. If you don't it will get left behind and then we'll be short of gear again."

 
riverrunner
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08/10/2017 12:35PM  
Or he was just screwing with the kids.
 
08/10/2017 12:45PM  
I was just leaving a particularly sloppy portage landing with nothing but muskeg everywhere and there was a group of 2 adults and 4 teens pulling up in two canoes. The bow kid steps out and sinks balls deep into muskeg and starts screaming so loud and long that you'd have heard it miles away. He thought he was in quicksand or something. The adults are trying hard to calm him down and hold back their laughter at the same time (I felt a little bad because the kid was terrified but I couldn't help chuckling as I paddled away). I could still hear the loud kid griping and whining when I was halfway across the lake. The last thing I heard the kid say was "I'm done being the bowman!"
 
Flannelshirt
  
08/10/2017 12:59PM  
In the late sixties... coming out of the woods on a long portage I dropped my gear in the canoe and pushed off of shore. I looked back to check that no gear was left when I see a man and a woman sitting on a park bench with a wheel barrow. I had to circle back to ask why the park bench. Their answer very nonchalant, "we met on this bench and thought it would be nice to take it on our honey moon".
No further questions...
 
08/10/2017 01:01PM  
Had two on my forty day trip in 2012 that I think of.

On Ogish there was a guy I never saw around the corner at another site. All Bernie and I heard was bad dog bad dog. Bernie just looked at me like how can a dog be that bad? I wanted to go over and say bad owner... haha.

Then on Boulder Lake I heard someone coming from the Adams portages. They came by my site and kept on to the other site. They seemed nice enough, but the guy never shut up and sounded like he was bickering, so I dubbed them the Bickersons. I went to sleep and woke up to the bickering. Haha.
 
08/10/2017 01:40PM  
By the way, the problem with the skinny jeans was that they were too skinny to roll up
 
LuvMyBell
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08/10/2017 02:02PM  
quote boonie: "I was on a long solo trip and met a father/son tandem at a portage. They had a big old beast of a canoe and a jumble of giant packs, duffels, boots, fishing equipment, and one trash bag . . . with ? It all had to weigh 3X as much as mine and the canoe twice as much.

"How long you in for", he asked.

"Twelve days", I said. "

"Where's the rest of your stuff", he asked, as I shoved off.

"That's all of it", I said.

As I paddled away, I heard him say to his son, "You get people coming in here who just don't know what they're doing. I hope he makes it OK".

I was thinking the same thing."

This is the funniest one so far...Classic
 
08/10/2017 02:09PM  
quote riverrunner: " a complete croquet set"

I really enjoy the absurdity of hauling a croquet set into the BWCA. That goes beyond simply not doing your research. I bet there's a story there.
 
MikeinMpls
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08/10/2017 02:20PM  
In two consecutive trips one year apart, I was told at portages:

"You go ahead. You look like you know what you're doing."

"You look like you've done this a time or two."

I'm sure others have heard similar, but I can't tell you how good that made me feel. All my obsessions about packs and being wired-tight at least gave someone the impression that I was competent!!

Mike
 
Jackfish
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08/10/2017 02:30PM  
quote riverrunner: "Electric hair dyers, all kinds of cosmetics, a complete croquet set, a two foot tall bong are among some of the strangest things I seen in the wilderness. "

Cosmetics? I suppose I could see some women doing that.

A two foot tall bong? Based on some comments I've read on the board over the years, I could imagine seeing that.

But it's a toss-up on the craziest of the other two. Electric hair dryers or a CROQUET SET? They're both so ridiculous that I almost have to call BS.
 
08/10/2017 03:26PM  
On a hellish portage in the Quetico, a tripmate comes running back down the trail, panicked, and says 'its not passable' as he runs past my brother and me. No further discussion was merited since he showed a high water mark just south of his nipples.

Much funnier in retrospect.

Daniel

 
missmolly
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08/10/2017 03:43PM  
quote riverrunner: "
quote Freddy: "
quote riverrunner: "Mostly when a newbie opens their pack you brought that."

Probably a gun and ten pounds of ammo!"

Electric hair dyers, all kinds of cosmetics, a complete croquet set, a two foot tall bong are among some of the strangest things I seen in the wilderness.

Full size coolers and ice on a trip that requires a lot portaging . It is very common to hear why did I bring that."

There is a hidden bennie to an electric hair dryer. With a long enough cord, you'll always know the way home.
 
Grandma L
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08/10/2017 06:08PM  
I was leading a group of teen girls back in the 80's - they each had a specific list of what to bring and were told - no extras - BUt one of them showed up with a butane curling iron. When asked she said, "But Lori, the pictures from this trip will last forever! I have to look my best!" The curling iron stayed home.
 
08/10/2017 06:09PM  
It has been a very long time and the exact details of this story have begun to blur, but on our second canoe trip (a little four-day trip out of Lake One in 1973), we were standing on the shore of Horseshoe Lake after a portage getting ready to load up again when another couple emerged from the portage trail. The woman ran excitedly to water's edge and threw up her arms, let out a big sigh of what sounded like relief, and shouted, "Ah! Lake Insula!"

Spartan1 looked over at me and I returned his look of puzzlement. Should we say anything? These people obviously didn't know where they were. Should we clue them in? We decided we had to.

Come to find out, they had been on a trip for a couple days, and the only map they had was a little line drawing of their route that they had been given by the outfitter. Otherwise, they had no map at all! My husband was shocked! He showed them on his map where they actually were, where "Lake Insula" actually was, and since we always travel with a double set of maps, one for each of us, I gave them my map for the rest of their trip.

I have often wondered if they ever got home. And now whenever we are "misplaced" on a canoe trip, or even on a road trip, it isn't unusual for one of us to say, "Ah, Lake Insula!"

 
08/10/2017 06:22PM  
Incidentally, Nola, this is a very funny thread. Thanks. :-)
 
08/10/2017 09:34PM  
quote Spartan2: "Incidentally, Nola, this is a very funny thread. Thanks. :-)"


I agree. And the best part are the stories like yours where the phrase becomes a "thing."

John and I have one of those, but not from the BW. It's "are you gonna eat that?" (Actually the whole quote is "are you gonna eat that, or do I have to shove it up your ass?!" But we never have to say the whole thing.

I'll leave y'all to wonder at the situation we were in when that was overheard...
 
08/10/2017 09:42PM  
quote Jackfish: "
quote riverrunner: "Electric hair dyers, all kinds of cosmetics, a complete croquet set, a two foot tall bong are among some of the strangest things I seen in the wilderness. "

Cosmetics? I suppose I could see some women doing that.


A two foot tall bong? Based on some comments I've read on the board over the years, I could imagine seeing that.


But it's a toss-up on the craziest of the other two. Electric hair dryers or a CROQUET SET? They're both so ridiculous that I almost have to call BS."


We just saw a canoe with their gear in trash bags and laundry baskets
 
gkimball
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08/10/2017 09:53PM  
1) A canoeing buddy told me about a trip he took with some newbies who showed up with a bag of books that weighed (he estimated) 25 pounds. He always called it the trip from hell...

2) I once base camped on a solo trip near a popular jumping rock in early June. Over the course of 4 days several groups of young people (I was 65 then so I can call them young people) showed up to jump and have fun.

I could not see the jump site, but I could hear it when a group arrived, and especially when they hit the water.

I could also hear their reaction to the water temps that were, evidently, quite a bit lower than what they expected. Got a few chuckles from what became a repetitious pattern - a splash sound immediately followed by a consistent, predictable, high pitched howling OOOOOOAAAHHHHH!!!???!!!! Another version was just a simple, emphatic OOOOOOOO!!!! Some of these spontaneous expressions might have carried for a mile.

The gals were the loudest. Often followed by short statements I couldn't make out but could have been something like "Why did you suggest this, you idiot!"

Live and learn!
 
riverrunner
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08/11/2017 05:43AM  
Ok the truth the complete croquet set and the two foot bong was not in the BWCA where a canoe would carry it most of the way.

The story is kind of long but funny

It was a much harder place to get into the BOB Marshall wilderness in Montana miles from the trail head over a 7000 plus foot pass.

Here's the story my hiking partner spent two day hiking into big salmon lake we were camped at the out let end of the lake and decided to do a day hike to the head of the
lake.

We took a light day pack and headed out as we were about a half a mile from the head we noticed small one man raft out on the lake with some one fishing from it. My first though was some one brought it in with horses.

A little bit later we saw a group of five tents camped down by the lake being a social fellow and I like talking to fellow wilderness travelers we decide to stop by and have a chat.

As we walked into the camp there were five tents and four fellows in there 20's sitting around the fifth was out in the raft.

Being a highly trained LEO at the time I noticed the two foot bong, six or seven liter bottles of vodka and mix. A bunch of smaller coolers and lots of other gear way too much for just five guys.

As we talked and uncovered their story seems this was there first real back packing trip. They were from CA and done a lot of real camping in Yosemite NP where they had to carry their gear a whole hundred yard off the road.

One of them had the grand idea after reading about the BOB that it would be a great place to go and it is.

So he convinced his camping friends to go on a real camping trip in real wilderness so they made their plans. Decided where to go and seeing big salmon lake and reading what great fishing was to be had in the BOB they picked out the shortest route to the lake.

Wrong choice it might be the shortest but it sure isn't the easiest a lot of up. Those elevation lines on the maps really mean something.

Being real men they decide they each needed their own tent can't sleep in the same tent.

Food to them meant real food in coolers, cans, bottles, bacon eggs and potatoes . Plus what camping trip isn't a trip with out a full complement of alcoholic drinks. We are going to a lake we need at least one raft to go fishing in and lots of fishing gear.

Plus for sleeping we not only need our own tent we need our favorite pillow and thick air mattress's to sleep on.

Then we know that smoking dope is much better using a bong then papers we bring a big bong.

As we sat around and talking to them it was obvious that 4 of the five would never ever be doing a BACK PACKING TRIP AGAIN.

The organizer was very interested in learn what they did wrong and how to do it properly. He sounded like he would be come a back packer.

We spend a couple hours visiting with them talking back packing planning what to bring and what not to bring. Training for it, reading maps and all the good stuff one should know.

Nice guys but totally clueless to wilderness back packing.

Then here it comes just as we were getting up to leave the leader said.

What are we going to do with that. He then pointed to a tree about 20 feet away and leaning against it was a full read it again a FULL COMPLETE croquet set MALLETS BALLS HOOPS every thing.

As I saw it I couldn't help myself and said you really didn't pack that in did you.

The answer was obvious of course we did how else do you think it got here.

But now what are we going to do with it.

I said I hope you plan to play a few rounds,then before you leave you can burn all the wooden parts pack out the rest. Or you know of that nice meadow at the head of the lake set it up there and leave a nice note saying feel free to play a round this was left for your Entertainment.

My hiking buddy and I had some very good laughs as we walked back to our camp and still do to this day when ever we talk about that trip.

Hoped you enjoyed the story.



I don't know what their packs weighed but I am guessing well on the north side of 100lbs
What normally would have been a long hard one day hike took these fellows two hard full days with a camp one night in not a very comfortable spot. I am really surprised they didn't turn around then.
 
08/11/2017 06:21AM  
On a trip out of Sawbill, we came to the portage to Cherokee Lake and it was blocked with a mass of canoes, Boy Scouts and their fearless leaders. They had stayed the night before at Sawbill like we did, and the night before, I walked by one of the dads and said hi and he ignored me and just stared straight ahead very stern faced. I immediately thought, jagbag...

Well, as we were floating just off the portage, it became obvious they were going to be there a while so we picked our way through the mass of gear. I noticed they were carrying at least two collapsible five gallon containers of water. That had to be fun to portage. The one jag dad was imploring his son to drink water. 'You have to drink more water!' he kept telling him. Like the kid was going to die of thirst from a morning of light paddling and walking in the woods.

The kid answered in that high pitched voice that I love so much and that I believe would come out of the mouth of a member of the Vienna Boys Choir who just got kicked in the nuts, ' But I'm not thirsty!' Classic. We chuckled about that the rest of the trip. Still makes me smile. Cheers.
 
08/11/2017 06:58AM  
I will share another fond memory.

On a trip with my son, we base camped at Shell Lake and stayed at the south end campsite on Conn Island. There are three campsites on the island and they are all premo, ours being the least desirable, maybe. It wasn't the most fun trip because my son was at a weird stage or our relationship was, but whatever, we stayed around the campsite more than I like to. It is a busy lake and our site faced the open lake and sometimes I felt like a tour director telling passersby which sites were open, etc.

One afternoon, I noticed a group come in heading toward Conn and I think I told them all the island sites were taken and they ended up on a site across the lake with what looked like a forty five degree slope to it. Not ideal. They had two canoes with small kids, one a 20' four seater.

The next morning I was chilling out with my feet in the lake and a guy from the middle site paddled by to go fishing and we chatted briefly, (a lot of chatting with strangers on this trip), and he told me they were pulling out that morning. Me, a bit too absorbed in my newfound role as tour guide perhaps, paddled across the lake to the new guys' site with the intent of telling them that the much desired middle site on Conn Island would be open in a bit. I pulled closer and one boy, probably about eight, yelled, ' dad someone's coming!' So I told them the site would be open and it's a good one, premo, just like the Taj Mahal.

A day or two later my son and I were cruising by the middle site and the cutest little girl with blonde curly hair was standing on the shore. I would say she was about three years old and I mean cute as a button. Just a little doll. I asked her, "how do you like the campsite?' She answered so sweetly and happily it would make your heart melt, 'It's great, it's the Taj Mahal!' Still love that.
 
Kobykat
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08/11/2017 08:08AM  
Scat, love it, great story.
 
Arcola
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08/11/2017 08:27AM  
Four young men, "Hey, where's the Bread pack?" #3 full of white bread.
 
emptynest56
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08/11/2017 09:52AM  
Technically not in the BW, but very close:

My young family(at the time)and I were camping at the Fall Lake USFS campground one Labor Day weekend. In the middle of the night, I awoke to what seemed to be horrible wailing. I thought, WTH, and got concerned as I listened to any further sounds. It soon became apparent what it was was a couple in an adjacent campsite filled with ardor and desire in their tent.

For the next 10 minutes I was kicking myself for not bringing earplugs.
 
08/11/2017 10:23AM  
Funniest thread I've read in a long time. Thanks everyone -- great stories!
 
08/11/2017 10:56AM  
quote emptynest56: "Technically not in the BW, but very close:


My young family(at the time)and I were camping at the Fall Lake USFS campground one Labor Day weekend. In the middle of the night, I awoke to what seemed to be horrible wailing. I thought, WTH, and got concerned as I listened to any further sounds. It soon became apparent what it was was a couple in an adjacent campsite filled with ardor and desire in their tent.


For the next 10 minutes I was kicking myself for not bringing earplugs."


This one reminds me of a weekend trip with friends down to Whitewater State Park. A big group of us were camping on 2 adjoining sites with a 3rd site close by that was occupied by an unknown couple. The first night everyone in our group woke up to sounds of the young couple in the 3rd site expressing just how much they liked each other. The couple made only a half hearted attempt at being quiet and apparently the female participant was rather particular in what she was looking for and was not afraid of vocalizing her wishes. Because of that every single person in our group had a pretty vivid mental image of what was going on in that 3rd site.

The next morning we all crawl out of our tents just waiting for the first person to bring up the performance we all heard the night before. After all sharing a laugh we look over to see lover couple crawling out of their tent. We could barely hold ourselves together as we tried to avoid all eye contact. I'm not sure if they knew how much we heard, none of us thought to go ask. 10 years later and we all still joke about it anytime any of us goes camping.
 
08/11/2017 11:13AM  
I was paddling back to my site from a day of fishing. It had been slow, and rain/wind were picking up. Passing a site where a family was starting to get their gear set I hear a father ask the kids where the instruction packet was - it has the notes for the tent and the stove and all our permits in it. His son, maybe 6, says with a big grin- 'I put it in the glove compartment so we wouldn't lose it!'.
 
bottomtothetap
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08/11/2017 11:27AM  
quote nofish: "
quote emptynest56: "Technically not in the BW, but very close:



My young family(at the time)and I were camping at the Fall Lake USFS campground one Labor Day weekend. In the middle of the night, I awoke to what seemed to be horrible wailing. I thought, WTH, and got concerned as I listened to any further sounds. It soon became apparent what it was was a couple in an adjacent campsite filled with ardor and desire in their tent.



For the next 10 minutes I was kicking myself for not bringing earplugs."



This one reminds me of a weekend trip with friends down to Whitewater State Park. A big group of us were camping on 2 adjoining sites with a 3rd site close by that was occupied by an unknown couple. The first night everyone in our group woke up to sounds of the young couple in the 3rd site expressing just how much they liked each other. The couple made only a half hearted attempt at being quiet and apparently the female participant was rather particular in what she was looking for and was not afraid of vocalizing her wishes. Because of that every single person in our group had a pretty vivid mental image of what was going on in that 3rd site.


The next morning we all crawl out of our tents just waiting for the first person to bring up the performance we all heard the night before. After all sharing a laugh we look over to see lover couple crawling out of their tents. We could barely hold ourselves together as we tried to avoid all eye contact. I'm not sure if they knew how much we heard, none of us though to go ask. 10 years later and we all still joke about it anytime any of us goes camping."


Great description! I laughed out loud just "connecting the dots" and imagining the scene!
 
bottomtothetap
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08/11/2017 11:30AM  
Also have my "curling iron" story: I used to guide first-time high-schoolers and would give all of them a rather specific list of items to bring. In spite of this, I learned to do pack checks before launching to eliminate useless items that were secretly packed. Actually the worried parents were often worse than the student. As they helped their student pack for the trip there were often lots of uneeded extras lovingly snuck into the pack by mom or dad "just in case".

One of these pack checks revealed a curling iron that was hidden toward the bottom of a bag. I asked the girl just where she was hoping to plug it in and just how long was the chord hidden in what other pack. She said that she did realize that electricity was not available in the wilderness but seriously had planned to warm the curling iron with the campfire and use it that way! I convinced her that we all appreciated her internal beauty enough that whatever messy hair she experienced was not going to bother anyone else in our group and that she shouldn't worry about it either. The curling iron stayed behind.
 
08/11/2017 02:26PM  
Two stories:

#1 - single portaging my solo stripper and a pack on the Fall-Newton portage, I had the canoe perfectly balanced and was just lightly holding it with one hand when I come across a rather large woman headed the other way struggling with a pack. She takes one look at me, put's her hand on her hip, and tells me, 'honey, for the benefit of others out here, you should at least make it look like it's hard work'. She then turns around in the direction I'm going, and in a voice just like Howard's mother on Big Bang Theory, she yells "Harold! Would you take a look at this guy? He's carrying EVERYTHING. Get up here and carry this damn pack!!"

#2 - myself, my buddy Jim, my mother, and my dad are having lunch at a beautiful spot at the end of a portage. Jim and I are probably around 15 at the time and suddenly a group of young ladies in cutoffs and bikinis comes bounding off the portage, dumps their gear, and jumps in the water, boots and all. When they came back out things up top had, um, begun poking out shall we say? Jim looks straight at my mother and says, "My, my, that water is COLD". That statement has stuck with us for 40 years, whenever any mention of temperature comes up in the conversation.

JD
 
yogi59weedr
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08/11/2017 06:50PM  
Years ago, there were four of us camped out on the SAK. Beautiful, calm, quiet sunset. We heard a canoe coming down the chute as we could hear the paddles hitting the side of aluminium canoe. They had to be 300 - 400 yards away when they emerged.

All of a sudden they stopped canoeing and we could hear the lady say, "Would ya look at the size of that f***** flag??" We all busted up laughing.

I would always take my dad's funeral flag and hang it in camp. Kind of a tribute to dad. It definitely made a statement.

Nowadays, I still hang the flag, but at Fall Lake campground.
 
08/11/2017 07:48PM  
quote timatkn: "I fished near a portage near an entry point one time and consistently over heard from women when their significant other wasn't around, "this portaging wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't carrying his ...expletive...tackle bag too"


After fishing I immediately broke down my tackle bag and made sure it was packed up in a Duluth style pack. After portaging my wife asked where the tackle bag was and I told her I was packing it different she replied "good, the portaging wasn't bad except for carrying that ...expletive...tackle bag of yours...thanks"


T"


THIS got a laugh from both hubby and me. Thanks
 
08/11/2017 07:52PM  
quote MikeinMpls: "Father, son and another guy come up to me on a portage, I can't remember exactly where (it was a long time ago.)


Father to me: "Can you show me where we are on the map?"


Me responding: "You're not on this map. You're off the map."


Father: "Oh, I wonder how that happened."


In all my trips, I've heard a lot of stuff. To me, what is said can be interesting, but the fact that I can hear anything at all is disturbing. I'm not talking about a bow and stern paddler conversing. I'm talking about one canoe yelling to another, several hundred yards away- "The portage is over there!" On my last trip, a group of three canoes passed my campsite, one of the canoes singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall..." The "singer" was on number 89 when she passed me.


Mike
"



OH MY Goodness Mike! We were on Lake One in July and had a huge group leaving singing that song! Heard them across the lake.
~~
 
08/11/2017 08:04PM  
Ok. We took a trip in July to the numbered lakes. We followed the map that showed going right from the EP. Well, the water was as high as ever and never having been there before, we set out. We hit one portage next to some rapids that were MOVING...that is a different story all together.

Anyway, I get to the end of the portage and hear people off to my left and I think it's people viewing the rapids. I start back to see if I can help hauling anything else and this disheveled guy from the woods said, "hey, where did you come from?" I just looked at him and pointed to my right.

He said, "The portage? Where does it start?" When I told him, he said, "Well, that's too far away now", and then I see they have their canoes and all the gear. They missed the portage and started down the rapids! They must have gone to shore (luckily) and were bushwacking it. No way they would have made it down the rapids.

I don't know how they made it as far as they did.
~~
 
rdricker
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08/11/2017 10:35PM  
It was on my first trip into Quetico. I was a leader with a group of 5 teenage girls. About halfway though the trip, we had settled in for the night and I could overhear them talking in their tent. Suddenly out of nowhere I hear.

"What's that smell?"
"That's terrible..."
"Oh, it's us!"
 
08/12/2017 06:22PM  
At the end of a long portage a first timer that was no longer a young man, threw down his pack, shot me an evil looking glare and said "I thought you invited me on a canoe trip, not a backpacking trip!"

We stopped at the next available camp site.
 
card0056
senior member (61)senior membersenior member
  
08/17/2017 11:41AM  
As I'm paddling in the front of the canoe, I hear from the back, "Do paddles float?"

Me: "Yes."

From the back of the boat, "Good. I will need you to turn this thing around and show me."

My brother and I have been doing trips for 18 years and this simple exchange is the one that gets me laughing every time.
 
bassnet
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08/17/2017 12:08PM  
Both my partner and I are healthcare professionals (paramedic, RRT). A canoe comes up to us one morning: "Do to have a Sat phone? We have a medical emergency, somebody died!"

My partner said: "We don't have a sat phone and you don't have an emergency!!"
 
08/17/2017 02:28PM  
"Do we really have to take the portage. Can't we run these rapids."

Me: "If you want your trip to end early, take the rapids. Portages are here for a reason."
 
Fearlessleader
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08/17/2017 05:18PM  
Years ago my son had my niece as a canoe partner. He loved to fish. She didn't.
Her job was to net the fish he caught, but she never got into the spirit of it.

Finally he caught a really nice northern, somewhere near 40 inches. After much screaming and yelling back and forth, she did manage to net the fish.

After it was done, she said something we still quote today---"Boy, I hope that never happens again!!!"
 
paddlefamily
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08/17/2017 05:30PM  
quote bassnet: "Both my partner and I are healthcare professionals (paramedic, RRT). A canoe comes up to us one morning: "Do to have a Sat phone? We have a medical emergency, somebody died!"

My partner said: "We don't have a sat phone and you don't have an emergency!!""


Wow...that's quite the story. What happened?
 
spud
member (37)member
  
08/17/2017 07:03PM  
Does it count if it was a story from one of my coworkers?

He told me one on if his trips he crossed paths with another group.. one of the guys said to him, "I see you are out of water, did you need some of ours?" Perplexed, he turned and pointed to the lake and told them that he had all the water he needed there. The other guy in that other group got upset with his partner and exclaimed "see howard i told you we didnt need to bring water!". Turns out they were portaging 5 gallon containers of water for their trip... I couldn't imagine lugging around and portaging water for a trip!
 
mutz
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08/17/2017 08:25PM  
quote bassnet: "Both my partner and I are healthcare professionals (paramedic, RRT). A canoe comes up to us one morning: "Do to have a Sat phone? We have a medical emergency, somebody died!"

My partner said: "We don't have a sat phone and you don't have an emergency!!""

I hope this one was meant as a joke, because no healthcare professionals that I know would ever make a joke to someone who had just experienced a tragedy like that.



 
RiverFisher
member (14)member
  
08/18/2017 08:50AM  
My first trip into Quetico my Dad and I went from French to Buckingham. On the way back to French lake the weather picked up on Pickerel, rain and wind right in our faces. My dad was the stern man and navigator. He kept yelling at me to "paddle hard". We had gotten a little off track and after hearing him repeatedly yelling paddle hard, I stopped paddling, turned around, and yelled at him, "paddle hard to where?". We found the best island site and set up camp for an extra night after that. I was 16 then, 42 now, and anytime we are in a canoe together he tells this story.
 
mc2mens
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08/18/2017 09:46AM  
quote boonie: "I was on a long solo trip and met a father/son tandem at a portage. They had a big old beast of a canoe and a jumble of giant packs, duffels, boots, fishing equipment, and one trash bag . . . with ? It all had to weigh 3X as much as mine and the canoe twice as much.

"How long you in for", he asked.

"Twelve days", I said. "

"Where's the rest of your stuff", he asked, as I shoved off.

"That's all of it", I said.

As I paddled away, I heard him say to his son, "You get people coming in here who just don't know what they're doing. I hope he makes it OK".

I was thinking the same thing."

:)
 
Phil/TX
member (31)member
  
08/18/2017 12:52PM  

The funniest thing I heard once was absolute silence -

I was Traveling with a group of Teen guys and some Dads. We were on the way out after a week long trip exiting BWCA entry #16 Moose River North - We had entered Little Indian Souix #14 . So we were heading south and had arrived at the base of a waterfall with a portage. By this point the Guys had been talking about several things along the lines , feeling pretty Macho for doing a pretty long trip how many miles etc and they were almost done. Cannot wait for shower, cokes real food etc.

As we arrived at the portage we saw people had left a bunch of packs etc etc . So we sat on the water in our canoes and waited to see what was up.
Then coming down the trail is a bunch of girls in their bright pink , yellow , blue , shorts and bikini's all clean and really looking more like a bunch of cheerleaders rather than outdoorsy types- obviously on their first hours in- just so juxtaposed to this situation.
I looked around at our group and all the teen guys were just staring some even with their mouths open chin in their lap. Even to me it was shocking somewhat.
And no one said a word no howdy ... nothing . The rest of the Dads and I had a good laugh on that one .
 
08/18/2017 01:47PM  
We were in Boulder Bay, LLC a few years ago when we ran into a father/son tandem from someplace down south. The dad was in the middle of a very loud tutorial on walleye fishing techniques. We could hear them coming from 100 yards away. At a portage from LLC to Boulder River we ran into them and struck up a conversation during which the gentleman asked us about how we got the stringer of walleyes we were carrying. My buddy looks at their rigs and says, with a totally deadpan expression on his face, "you might want to lose the Jitterbugs". We ended up giving them a handful of leeches and about 10 jigs out of our box, explained the general idea of how to fish them, and went on our way. I hope they got into some walleyes.

From that point on, whenever we go through a dry spell on our fishing trips, someone always chimes in (think Larry the Cable Guy southern accent) with "we might want to lose the Jitterbugs". We consider it our magic way to break through a tough day.
 
08/18/2017 03:27PM  
Pre Pagami Creek fire we were staying on the island site on Hudson. Just two of us and we both use a hammock for a tent so they are usually out of site at camp. We had just set up camp, we had come from the north side of Insula and my friend was down by the shore and I was up in the trees.

We hear this group of younger kids which I assume were boy scouts or similar group. Two 3 person canoes and 1 two person canoe. The two 3 man canoes are zig-zagging across the entire lake having a loud conversation about how they hope the island site is open.

We can see the one 2 man canoe behind the others (the two dads we are guessing). When one of the canoes of boys sees my friend and canoe down by the shore he yells to the other 3 man canoe... "If he is soloing we can still camp there."

I wasn't sure I heard him right so I make my way down to the shore and sure enough when I get into their view they start yelling. "Oh no, there are two of them, that puts us over the limit!!!"

 
schweady
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08/29/2017 12:03PM  
Getting out at the Angleworm EP parking lot, newbie in tow:
"Where's the lake?... Huh? No, where's the lake?... Don't tell me. All the way up here, I thought you guys were s***ting me... There's no lake..."

Later that morning, after walking down to the valley bottom and coming upon the USFS sign:
"Stand over there by that sign; I'll take your picture."
"Why? What's the sign doing out here?"
"It marks the BWCA border. It means you're now in the Boundary Waters."
Confused pause. Pointing back to the path on which we had just come:
"So, what the f*** was all THAT back THERE?!..."
 
08/29/2017 12:36PM  
My friend and I ran into a brightly dressed long-haired fella portaging a kayak (my best guess is near Ogishkemuncie in later May). The interaction went something like :

Me: How are you enjoying the trip?

Fella: Great! It's beautiful out here. Last night we had moose running all over camp!

My friend: You're kidding! What the hell was going on?

Fella: We didn't see them but we heard them running by in the woods. You could feel the hoof beats on the ground! (He proceeded to drum on his chest, slow at first then faster).

Me: You know, partridge will drum on their chests like that during their mating season... sounds a lot like that.

Fella: No, this thing was BIG.

My friend and I look at each other and shrugged.
 
08/29/2017 05:13PM  
Schweady - thanks for that. I had to chuckle.
 
greywolf33
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08/31/2017 09:46AM  
"I thought you were gonna bring the toilet paper!"
 
08/31/2017 11:41AM  
Waiting at Hook Island for our tow out of Quetico after a week long trip, my buddy and I were typically dirty and grizzled. The boat picking us up dropped off six young men. As we exchanged pleasantries I learned that they were college friends from Tennessee and they were very excited, as this was their first canoe trip. I figured as much when I saw the two whole pineapples they were carrying.
 
09/04/2017 07:25PM  
My daughter reminded me of this one.

My wife, son, daughter, and her boyfriend Tim (might have been fiancé by this time), now husband, and I took a trip into Ensign for a week. It was a chance for Tim to vacation with the family. In our gear, we have a green stuff sack designated as the "go bag", for trips to the latrine. I contains TP, wet wipes, purell, and a Suzy Bugnet for bug protection. One morning my son took his morning constitutional and disappeared for a bit. After a while, we all heard a clear call from the woods..."I grabbed the wrong green bag." We all fell out and responded in various ways to his call for help. I did take him the correct green bag. We all wondered how long it took him to cry out for help, knowing he would take the razing for his dilemma. I told told my daughter that had Tim grabbed the wrong green bag, she would have been up as the barer of the correct green bag. The story is a part of family lore.
 
09/05/2017 11:17AM  
Came back near portage landing for second load as two guys were yelling at each other:
"Thank goodness! I bet we added a mile of paddling if you count all the zig zagging."

"Well, you were the one in the front who's supposed to do the steering!"

"Hurry up, That canoe that was way back there is almost here.". as they drug the loaded Kevlar over the rocks well onto dry ground. When I got to the top of the long hill maybe 20 rods in, it was:

"Stop! This ain't working. Let's put a couple of these packs on and then see if we can carry it."

The canoe was still loaded.
 
SevenofNine
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09/05/2017 12:51PM  
This past Saturday two guys coming from the east in an aluminum canoe paddled by and said "good morning" and I replied in kind. About an hour later as they paddled by from the west "can you tell me is that the direction to Karl lake?". The bow paddler had an 8" x 11" area map that looked like he ripped it out of a magazine or a book. Not sure what the stern paddler had if anything but they definitely didn't have decent maps.
 
09/14/2017 10:46AM  
quote Jackfish: "
quote riverrunner: "Electric hair dyers, all kinds of cosmetics, a complete croquet set, a two foot tall bong are among some of the strangest things I seen in the wilderness. "

Cosmetics? I suppose I could see some women doing that.


A two foot tall bong? Based on some comments I've read on the board over the years, I could imagine seeing that.


But it's a toss-up on the craziest of the other two. Electric hair dryers or a CROQUET SET? They're both so ridiculous that I almost have to call BS."


I think the answer to that question depends whether they packed the portable generator for the electric hair dryer. I mean if they planned ahead, the electric hair dryer really doesn't sound that crazy ;)
 
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