What are your plans for your final resting place?

Panorama point, Mt Rainier. When climbing/snowboarding, that is always where I would see the sun rise above the clouds on the way up, and not too high that it was very cold. It is actually written into the will.

My ashes go here partly because It's a beautiful resting place- and partly just because I want to make my wife/kids go there someday :o

My plans are to filter my water twice.

Geez guys and gals.........threads on "last words", "Music played at funerals" and now "final resting places".

I have never thought about it. I won't be there anyway. There will be a strong possibility that I will be in a galaxy far far away. The Lord knows how I like adventure and like to explore.

Muddyfeet Panorama Point is indeed as fine of a vista as I have seen. Good choice.

I'm with MT. They can put me wherever it pleases those who survive me because I won't be there. Unlike MT, I won't be anywhere. I simply won't be. However, if I could absolutely choose, I'd choose to feed the coyotes, ravens, and beetles, to be rewoven back into the fabric.

I’d like my ashes in the cemetery nestled in the hills off Lax Lake Rd, right over the ridge from the purty aquamarine waters of Milepost Seven.

My son knows what to do with them. Some will be on Horseshoe Lake - our first BWCA experience. Some will be at our cabin in NW Wisconsin. But the party following will be a thigh slapper.........

I don’t really care. I told my wife to have me cremated, then come home and throw my ashes in the garbage.
~JOE~

My apologies for the length of this post.

My wife has been in the funeral business for her entire career - 25 years as a funeral director and the last two as the administrator for a large cemetery here in eastern Wisconsin. There are several things that come to mind regarding this thread and what I've learned over the years that I've known her.

1. Funerals, memorial services and visitations are important to family and friends. We've all heard people say, "I'm already dead. Who cares?" THEY do. You can have one funeral service where people say goodbye, or the family can have funeral services for the next six months in the grocery store, gas station, wherever... Most of the time, people who say they don't want a funeral service or "someone looking at me in the casket" aren't thinking of the people closest to them who want to say goodbye. Have some sort of service.

2. The number of cremations is increasing. Traditional funerals are still common, but their numbers are declining a bit. With cremation comes the question, "What should the family do with the ashes"? Obviously, different religions (or lack thereof) have different traditions or preferences. Many people want to have their ashes scattered in a favorite place (or several favorite places). Keep in mind that, in most states, scattering is technically illegal. Now, we all know it's done quite often, but if you choose to do that, keep it private and off of Facebook, etc.

3. Family history and genealogy should be strongly considered before scattering all the ashes of the deceased. Cemeteries are the record-keepers of those in the community who have passed before us.

Let's say Bob & Janet were married for 50 years. Bob had always said that when he passes, he wants his ashes scattered on his hunting land. What happens when Janet passes? She prefers a cemetery burial, but Bob is buried in the woods up north. Janet and Bob could have a cemetery plot with a grave stone or marker with Janet's name, birth date and date of death, along with Bob's information "In Memorium" but Bob wouldn't be buried alongside his wife of 50 years.

4. Another option is the family can spread a portion of Bob's ashes (so he can forever be on his hunting land) and also have a cemetery burial where the remainder of Bob's ashes could be buried next to Janet. Janet could have a traditional burial and Bob, who is obviously cremated, could be buried either next to, or on the same plot as, Janet. If Janet's wishes were to be cremated, Bob and Janet could even choose to be buried in the same urn on the same burial plot.

5. There is also the option of having a traditional funeral with a viewing of the deceased in the casket, then cremation afterwards. This is actually more common than you might think. This way, family and friends get to say goodbye in a more formal setting, then the cremation would take place after the funeral and burial/scattering can be done at the family's discretion.

6. The bottom line to this entire thesis is to make strong considerations for family and friends of the deceased when planning the funeral, memorial service, party... whatever the family chooses to do. Remember that cemeteries aren't just places for dead people to lay six feet under, it's also a place where family and friends will go to pay their respects and reflect. It will also be a permanent historical marker for future generations.

Put your funeral arrangements in writing, make your family aware of your choices and make the best choices for all involved. And visit with a pre-planning expert at your local funeral home. They will work with you to have everything in order so when the inevitable day comes, everything is set and there are no worries, arguments or debates about your final wishes. Even if you "just want a cremation and burial", most states require the services of a funeral home or cremation center to handle the legalities.

I hope everyone reading this takes it in the spirit that it's given. Your mileage may vary.

I don't care. Hopefully I leave enough money behind for my family to do with me whatever will make them feel better.

quote Jackfish: "4. Another option is the family can spread a portion of Bob's ashes (so he can forever be on his hunting land) and also have a cemetery burial where the remainder of Bob's ashes could be buried next to Janet. Janet could have a traditional burial and Bob, who is obviously cremated, could be buried either next to, or on the same plot as, Janet... "

I am glad my father agreed with his sister and chose this option instead of following my cousin’s wishes when he died 14 years ago. My cousin wished to have all his ashes scattered on my parents' land instead of being interred in the family plot. Earlier this year my parents decided to sell their land because they are getting too old to keep up with the maintenance. If they followed his wishes exactly as he wanted, surviving family members may no longer be able to come there once the property is owned by someone else. His mother was able to "visit" her son as we laid his father to rest beside him last week.

Thanks Jackfish. That must be a hard business to be in at times but rewarding too when you are comforting and helping people in a tough time.

All great advice, Jackfish.

I left instructions to be buried next to my parents in the local cemetery because I bought five plots and don’t want to waste any.

A portion of my friends remains were dumped into The St. Croix River where we grew up and spent a lot of time. It was more like sand than ash and it just sunk versus being carried down to the Gulf.

Got to be honest on this one, requesting elaborate destinations for ashes on the part of those left when it will make no difference to us sounds like we are thinking about ourselves, not our kids.

If I asked for my ashes to be scattered in the Boundary Waters (17 hour drive one way), they would all say yes, then do what they wanted after I was gone, which probably means ashes scattered in a local lake. Water is water.

I never really understood the elaborate costly funerals either. That is money that most survivors of the deceased could have really used.

Quote Walllee... "My ashes are going to Dubawnt Lake, Poohbah Lake and a secret brooke trout stream up by Grand Marais. What are your plans?"

My plans are to filter my water on those lakes. ;)

My plan is to have enough money saved so no one is stuck with paying for a funeral. Then, it is up to them.

quote walllee: "What are your plans for your final resting place?"

My plans are to find your secret brookie spot before you go. :-)

quote Jackfish: "

3. Family history and genealogy should be strongly considered before scattering all the ashes of the deceased. Cemeteries are the record-keepers of those in the community who have passed before us.

I treasure the memories of my grandparents taking me out to cemeteries in Minneapolis and in western Minnesota to see where my ancestors are buried, with many multiple generations in the same cemetery (three generations in one cemetery alone).

I honestly don't care. I'd prefer to be cremated and not have an expensive funeral - then just spend all that money on catering one hell of a wake.

Funerals are terrible. I know they're cathartic, but let them cathart at a wake. I'd rather have a eulogy like John Cleese gave for Graham Chapman than have 20 people come up and blubber about how great I was and how I would do anything for anyone, etc.

But my wife wants me to be buried next to her in the National Cemetery. I've no doubt if nature runs its course that she'll outlive me so I imagine that's what's going to happen.

If I thought that I would give a damn after I died what happened to my remains, I'd want to have equal portions of my ashes spread at:
Jumpup Canyon in the Grand Canyon,







Navajo Basin in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado,







at my grandmother's house in Estes Park,







and in Lake Winchell in BWCA, as those were places I felt the most serene and content.

The twist is that most people that go for cremation do it to save on funeral expenses. Then ask their family to go to elaborate destinations to scatter the ashes.

If the people of Europe interred their dead like we do, would there be any land left? Just saying, in 1000+ years, thats a lot of dead people taking up space. I can't see myself taking up a 6×3 piece of ground forever. My grandparents died before I was born or very young, have never visited their gravesites and don't even know where they're at.

I'm going for a Sky Burial Hopefully its legal in the US. Otherwise, shipping my remains to Tibet will cut into my heir's inheritance.

BTW, what is up with all these death/funeral posts?

My wife and I are donating our bodies to mayo clinic. When they are done with them they cremate and return the ashes to family or inter them. Marc

quote Podunk: "If the people of Europe interned their dead like we do would there be any land left? Just saying, 1000+ yrs thats alot of dead people taking up space. I can't see myself taking up a 6×3 piece of ground for ever. My grandparents died before I was born or very young, have never visited their gravesites and don't even know where there at. "

Very true. People and families no longer stay in one place for generations. Besides, a modern, industrial funeral (blood drained into the sewer, body pumped full of chemicals, etc.) is just plain disgusting, and amounts to desecration.

My family-cremated-no funeral-backyard party.Thats how we like it. My ashes will be at Lakeside Cemetery in Biwabik.

They didn't drain my brother's blood before he was displayed and he truly looked like he was sleeping.

Then, they must have just kept him cool, like they do in Europe. One of my college room-mates was studying mortuary science and worked in a funeral home. I'm definitely not a fan of that industry.

quote ockycamper: "The twist is that most people that go for cremation do it to save on funeral expenses. Then ask their family to go to elaborate destinations to scatter the ashes. "

Funeral = waste of money.

Trip to awesome location != waste of money.

An undisclosed wilderness location, like Edward Abbey.

Its all in how we put it in our funeral request.

"have me cremated, and scatter the ashes in the back yard or the neighbors field.. .then use the money you saved on the funeral to buy all new kevlar canoes and take the family to the boundary waters for a memorial trip"

I guess all of these posts show how very different people are in general. We all have different values and perspectives.
Me? I see a value in a funeral for the survivors, at least for me. I normally am glad I have gone to a funeral, which happens more and more often.
My remains? Some in the Q at a favorite spot and some in a vase in a designated location.
Hopefully, someone will accept my body for research and simply dispose of it when they are done with it.

Land usage is a real issue. With a growing population we just can't all do things the old fashioned way and take up part of the planet for eternity.

One nice idea with cremation are parks where ashes are scattered and people can visit a peaceful site and think about their departed loved one but not need a specific bit of land with a specific marker.

My wife and I know we want to be cremated but haven't decided on where the ashes go.

Just did the unveiling of my father's gravestone. He wanted the traditional way and his parents had bought 4 plots for them, my Dad, and my Mom. It was interesting to try and say something meaningful in a short space. Due to the layout of the plot, he has a footstone and no headstone. So many gravestones say almost the same thing. Here's what my Mom and I wrote for my Dad:

Loving and Loved Family Man
Paul Michael
July 6, 1928 - October 28, 2016
Devoted to the World Through
Science & Community

My buddy owns a funeral home. He knows a guy who is going to load me up in some shell and have a fireworks show on the 18th fairway at my golf course.

I'm claustrophobic. No way are you putting me in an $8000 box and closing the lid.

quote yogi59weedr:

I'm claustrophobic. No way are you putting me in an $8000 box and closing the lid."

You'll be dead

An old friend of mine was a member of the local battery...kind of like civil war re-enactors...and they shot half his ashes out of a cannon and the rest his family kept.

It doesn't matter where my remains are, I'll no longer need them.

No cremation for me ....... I don't want to burn twice.

I don't get to bring this up very often so I am taking my chance. This is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. If you understand the context of the movie then this usually brings tears of laughter to those I watch it with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4ezPvzKe5M

quote BuckFlicks: "

quote ockycamper: "The twist is that most people that go for cremation do it to save on funeral expenses. Then ask their family to go to elaborate destinations to scatter the ashes. "

Funeral = waste of money.


Trip to awesome location != waste of money."

It's like Augustus McCrae said to Woodrow Call in Lonesome Dove:

Call: "You want me to haul you all the way back to Texas? We just got to Montana."
...
Gus: "That's your favor to me... and that's my favor to you to. I'm giving you a reason to go off on another adventure so you won't get bored being a rancher."

Respectfully about cremains... I put some of my mom's ashes under a birch tree by lake superior... she always liked those birches.
But, I can't help it: Donnie's ashes

It really matter's not where your ash is located or your body buried, but where your soul ends up on that "Last Day" The good Lord will take care of the rest.

PS Good points Jackfish, thanks for the perspective.

SunCatcher

We took a couple of ounces of Bruce the Bowpaddler's ashes up to Thunder Point on Knife Lake. The sun was shining, the eagles were soaring, the wind was calm, it was an auspicious day. As I sprinkled the ashes out, the wind swirled up and Bruce wound up all over my hat, beard, shirt, pants, and boots. Bruce, the fun-loving guy, was giving us one last laugh.

My wife and I are looking into "natural burial". The unpickled corpse in a biodegradable coffin is buried in a shallow grave to hasten a return to the natural cycle of growth and decay. There aren't many suitable sites in the BW - boot sucking muddy portages notwithstanding. So it will be on a prairie on the outskirts of the Twin Cities, with seedlings planted on top to take back the nourishment we consumed during our time on earth.

quote OtherBob: "We took a couple of ounces of Bruce the Bowpaddler's ashes up to Thunder Point on Knife Lake. The sun was shining, the eagles were soaring, the wind was calm, it was an auspicious day. As I sprinkled the ashes out, the wind swirled up and Bruce wound up all over my hat, beard, shirt, pants, and boots. Bruce, the fun-loving guy, was giving us one last laugh.


My wife and I are looking into "natural burial". The unpickled corpse in a biodegradable coffin is buried in a shallow grave to hasten a return to the natural cycle of growth and decay. There aren't many suitable sites in the BW - boot sucking muddy portages notwithstanding. So it will be on a prairie on the outskirts of the Twin Cities, with seedlings planted on top to take back the nourishment we consumed during our time on earth."

That's a good plan, OB. Is it a legal plan?

I think there are places in states that provide those kinds of graves, but some research is required.

Yes, it is a legal cemetery. You could not do it in your own backyard, though, or on public land.

Some of my ashes will be sent to my canoe buddies to release at Moose lake BWCA camp dock where i let my best bud go. The rest will be released on a windy day from Custer Hill outside my home town so i can make everyones windshields dirty.

No funeral, just a see ya later party.

The natural burials are available around here, too. Could be a viable alternative to cremation. I'd like it best if there is a plan to reuse the site sooner than later.

BTW, Jewish burials are "unpicked", with a simple burial shroud, and the coffins are simple wood boxes. So, it is a pretty natural affair. But they are buried too deep for rapid decomposition and the sites are not expected to be reused.

quote missmolly: "I'm with MT. They can put me wherever it pleases those who survive me because I won't be there. Unlike MT, I won't be anywhere. I simply won't be. However, if I could absolutely choose, I'd choose to feed the coyotes, ravens, and beetles, to be rewoven back into the fabric."

watch to the end Miss Molly ;) josey wales

with that said ^^^ - my x-wife said she would sprinkle me in SAK , but after the 1 trip i took her there(and she did great , came out with a broken tail bone from slipping on a rock) , she said the hell that your being sprinkled in lake Waconia , now my son will have the duty , with tears and smiles with the rest of my ice fishing clan :)

quote shock: "

quote missmolly: "I'm with MT. They can put me wherever it pleases those who survive me because I won't be there. Unlike MT, I won't be anywhere. I simply won't be. However, if I could absolutely choose, I'd choose to feed the coyotes, ravens, and beetles, to be rewoven back into the fabric."

watch to the end Miss Molly ;) josey wales "

Yep, better to be part of a buzzard than a worm. Buzzards fly! ;-)

Jackfish Thank You for the insight. I have always joked with my wife and kids that they may do anything they want with my ashes.
I will now do some pre-planning to relieve them of the pressure.

What are my plans?
I'm planning on not dying.

My dad died just the day before this post went up. I really wish that he would have made a plan. He didn't and just told my mom that he didn't care what happened to his remains.

The funeral is for the living as is the monument at the graveyard.

My plan is to just have the funeral paid for, and cremated remains to be put wherever my surviving family decides.