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ozarkpaddler
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01/16/2018 03:26AM
Most of my friends know I've been nuts about canoes, kayaks, and johnboats since I was a kid in the early '70's. I enjoyed being out on the river and small waterways fishing with my step dad, my uncles, and my grandfather. The peace and quiet, the wildlife, the tug of the fish on the end of my line.... I paddled my first canoe solo before I could drive and it served to "Hook" me even more deeply.

Yesterday, while perusing a website that I used to frequent, I noticed many of the questions and subject matter reminded me of just why I only "Check in" once or twice per week. Things have certainly changed. Oh well, I guess different strokes for different folks? After spending about 5 minutes on the paddling website, I decided to e-mail my old buddy Bob. I just thought I'd share my e-mail:

Bob,
Staying warm? The snow is softly falling right now as we huddle in our flannel and fleece and sip our coffee. At least the temps made it to 30 this morning, which is much improved from the last few days. Supposed to get back down in the single digits tonight, though.

We're entering week #3 of this bronchitis/crud. Margaret, who NEVER gets sick has had it pretty bad this time too. Been a nurse for 31 years and this is the worst flu season I've ever seen. Need to get on the water and work all these germs out of the system! How about we talk "Paddling" and get our minds off of this cold brutal winter season?

I'm thinking of ordering some new gadgets, gidgets, and widgets to facilitate the enjoyment of my paddling experience? I'm thinking I need a new Heart Rate monitor so I know just how fast it's beating at all times? You know, a guy just can't be too careful. And I would prefer to know that my paddling is providing an adequate cardio workout, because why BOTHER to paddle a boat otherwise? You have to make goals and work towards them. It's not like we do this for FUN.

Also on my agenda is finding some reviews on the latest waterproof Apple, Orange, or Pear, or whatever audio device I can find to listen to my favorite tunes while I get my cardio on the water. Who wants to be bored stiff listening to those pesky birds and stuff? Last time on the water those freaking Belted Kingfishers were chattering and shrieking every 100 yards all the way to Pulltite! At least the eagles had the decency to keep quiet until they got up high enough that their calling didn't grate on your nerves last time out. But heaven forbid someone cleans some fish on a gravel bar, those eagles will all be gathered around making so much damn noise you can't hear yourself THINK! One of those music players with some ear buds is what I need, yessiree!

And how about the latest "Selfie sticks?" Do you have a "Brand" preference? Have you used any of them, Bob? I would certainly like to update my Facebook page a few times a day with some nice images of my finely tuned body. That way I can see how many "Likes" I can get for my handsome profile pictures. Someone called me a "Narcissist" the other day, but that's because they're just JEALOUS that they're not as wonderful, beautiful, smart, and popular as me!

And have you heard anything about the latest low profile, form fitting, automatic PFD's? If I go to the trouble of doing all this cardio to hone my body into a finely tuned instrument, I most CERTAINLY don't want my physique altered by an unseemly looking PFD in my profile pictures! Those regular PFD's are just so "Old school."

Oh, and I'm "Googling" the latest SUP boards too. Who wants to be caught dead being seen in a kayak or, God forbid, one of those CANOES? PADDLEBOARDS are what we need! As I recall, Bob, you used to tell me you "Get better looking every day?" Well, you can't show off those legs if they're in one of those "Old school" paddling vessels. Besides, how can you get adequate cardio if you're SITTING in a boat?

Anyway, I just thought we could ponder a few new purchases for the 2018 paddling season? We need to keep en-vogue with those on the east and west coast, you know; we wouldn't want them to think we're "Backwards" here in the midwest!

Take care and stay warm. Please let me know if you have any thoughts to anything else will enhance our enjoyment of the river for 2018!

Terry
 
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yellowcanoe
distinguished member(5113)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
 
01/16/2018 08:38AM
I'm in the middle of Swedish Death Cleaning

experiences for me. Not more Stuff.

However I might make a special trip to the Ozarks if you promise to buy a SUP and print leggings to match.
01/16/2018 09:53AM
ozarkpaddler, sounds yer really into new age gear! While I do appreciate modern tech as it's lightened my load a bunch, something enjoyed more as I approach the 7 decade mark. I do still mess with old school for the fun of it. 2 projects in line for the putzing room, a cook pot heat exchanger similar to the MSR ring that is decades old but sized for solo use, and a reflector oven or 2, haven't built any since 1991. Ideas sparked lately by online interest.

Keep the faith Terry! It's all still out there and in your heart.

butthead
ozarkpaddler
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01/16/2018 10:31AM
yellowcanoe: "I'm in the middle of Swedish Death Cleaning


experiences for me. Not more Stuff.

However I might make a special trip to the Ozarks if you promise to buy a SUP and print leggings to match."

Heheheh you won't see me on a paddleboard, but I could be convinced to do some stand-up paddling in my CANOE! As far as "Leggings," I already HAVE "Leggings." My better half has thus far restricted their wear to the farm, but I see no reason why I should restrict them to only at-home wear? Heck, people wear their PJ's in public nowadays! Here you go, my summer "Leggings" and footwear around the house:
ozarkpaddler
distinguished member(5389)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
 
01/16/2018 10:43AM
butthead: "ozarkpaddler, sounds yer really into new age gear!
Keep the faith Terry! It's all still out there and in your heart.
butthead"


Yeah, it was written tongue-in cheek but I must confess, waterproof boom boxes and music boxes with ear plugs certainly puzzles me? Why not just get a rowing machine?
yellowcanoe
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01/16/2018 02:38PM
Terry those are compression stockings.. You ought to check in at Wal Mart for a selection of fashion

Not the OR supply cart.
Guest Paddler
 
01/16/2018 03:12PM
Terry, I think you’re showing your age. Why not throw in the story about what it was like when you walked to school as a kid? Lol
dbpmw3
distinguished member (111)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
01/16/2018 03:20PM
: "Terry, I think you’re showing your age. Why not throw in the story about what it was like when you walked to school as a kid? Lol"


Last comment was mine. Didn’t realize I wasn’t signed in. Hope you all get past this flu Terry
nooneuno
distinguished member (355)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
01/16/2018 06:08PM
The other day I went Ice fishing with a guy who insisted on showing me how to work his heated socks that he controlled with his cellphone, I told him I had to pee and never went back, I did stop at his car and drop a crappie under the back seat before I left, I hope he can find it with his phone...
ozarkpaddler
distinguished member(5389)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
 
01/16/2018 10:12PM
nooneuno: "The other day I went Ice fishing with a guy who insisted on showing me how to work his heated socks that he controlled with his cellphone, I told him I had to pee and never went back, I did stop at his car and drop a crappie under the back seat before I left, I hope he can find it with his phone..."

Heheheheh, funny! Reminds me of a good movie scene!
Grumpy Old Men
mjmkjun
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01/17/2018 07:15AM
yellowcanoe: "Terry those are compression stockings.. You ought to check in at Wal Mart for a selection of fashion


Not the OR supply cart."

Funny! :-)
 
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