Combine equal parts lutefisk, grits and bacon smash in a large bowl. Mix well.
Make baseball size lumps of LGBS (Lutefisk, Grits, Bacon Smash) and carefully set on washable plate. Should make at least nine lumps.
Travel at least 100 yards from camp site. Deposit one lump of LGBS at each point of the compass surrounding your camp site.
When finished, carefully wash hands and plate at least 100 yards from your camp. Burn all clothing used during the preparation of LGBS.
Return to camp site. You are now fully protected.
LGBS will repel most bears. The few bears who can eat LGBS will die of heart disease before reaching your camp site. Some people report that this works for black flies, also.
"I go because it irons out the wrinkles in my soul" -- Sigurd Olson
Thanks- just the title of this thread made my stomach do a couple of flips. I've sprayed coffee on my monitor many times from this site, but this is the first time I was in danger of blowing lunch as well...
"The trouble with the world isn't that people know too little, but that they know so much that just ain't so."
Mark Twain