Chat Rooms (0 Chatting)  |  Search  |   Login/Join
* For the benefit of the community, commercial posting is not allowed.
Boundary Waters Quetico Forum
   Listening Point - General Discussion
      Political Humor -- while we wait for Spring
 community sponsor

Author

Text

troutslayar
distinguished member (121)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 05:01AM
Political Science for Dummies
> >
> >>> DEMOCRAT
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Your neighbor has none.
> >>> You feel guilty for being successful.
> >>> You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for
> >>> everyone.
> >>> REPUBLICAN
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Your neighbor has none.
> >>> So?
> >>> SOCIALIST
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> >>> You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
> >>> COMMUNIST
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> >>> You wait in line for hours to get it.
> >>> It is expensive and sour.
> >>> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
> >>> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
> >>> milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
> >>> AMERICAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
> >>> one.
> >>> You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
> >>> surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
> >>> analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
> >>> Your stock goes up.
> >>> FRENCH CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You go on strike because you want three cows.
> >>> You go to lunch and drink wine.
> >>> Life is good.
> >>> JAPANESE CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> >>> and produce twenty times the milk.
> >>> They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> >>> Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
> >>> GERMAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
> >>> excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
> >>> Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
> >>> ITALIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
> >>> You break for lunch.
> >>> Life is good.
> >>> RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You have some vodka.
> >>> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> >>> You have some more vodka.
> >>> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> >>> The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
> >>> TALIBAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
> >>> You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
> >>> parts.
> >>> You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
> >>> alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
> >>> IRAQI CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> They go into hiding.
> >>> They send radio tapes of their mooing.
> >>> POLISH CORPORATION
> >>> You have two bulls.
> >>> Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
> >>> BELGIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have one cow.
> >>> The cow is schizophrenic.
> >>> Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
> >>> The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
> >>> The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
> >>> The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
> >>> The cow dies happy.
> >>> FLORIDA CORPORATION
> >>> You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> >>> Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> >>> Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
> >>> accidentally vote for the black one.
> >>> Some people vote for both.
> >>> Some people vote for neither.
> >>> Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
> >>> Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
> >>> think is the best-looking cow.
> >>> CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
> >>> You have millions of cows.
> >>> They make real California cheese.
> >>> Only five speak English.
> >>> Most are illegal.
> >>> Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
> >>>
 
Reply    Reply with Quote    Print Top Bottom Previous Next
canoe212
distinguished member(963)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 05:40AM
hahahahahahahahahahahah!!
03/22/2008 10:03AM
troutslayar, Thanks. That is good, in fact I know where I am going to be sending it.
Boppa
SiouxFan
distinguished member (130)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 10:52AM
Good humor
Maddog
distinguished member(736)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 10:57AM
Why do you have to make Republicans look bad?
PaddleAway
distinguished member(910)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 12:21PM
That's goooooo stuff. :)
03/22/2008 12:51PM
LMAO
I think I might be republican
moooo
mongo65
distinguished member(1603)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 03:16PM
Mongo Like!
L.T.sully
distinguished member(2380)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 03:31PM
The Iraqi, and Taliban seem like they should be flip flopped, but other than that, very funny.
guitar1
distinguished member (208)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 04:22PM
I would be a good Italian, apparently.
dogwoodgirl
distinguished member(1500)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/22/2008 07:57PM
Looks like I am either Italian or French...life is good!
03/22/2008 07:59PM
some days i can relate to the polish one.
03/22/2008 11:12PM
I'm just glad I wasn't mentioned.
mr.barley
distinguished member(6883)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
 
03/23/2008 04:19PM
If you're cowdoc

You have no cows

But you stick your arm up their hind ends all day long looking for loose change

You also secretly wish you were an octopus so you'd have 8 arms to work with.
irishstone
distinguished member(659)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/24/2008 07:50AM
Funny stuff, thanks for sharing!
Dennisal
distinguished member(1132)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/24/2008 09:45AM
I am with Arnold on this one....
marc bates
distinguished member(1030)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/24/2008 04:28PM
I laughed the whole time reading that. Good stuff.
Merganser
distinguished member(2526)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
 
03/25/2008 09:29PM
That's awesome!
 
Reply    Reply with Quote    Print Top Bottom Previous Next