Boundary Waters Quetico Forum :: Listening Point - General Discussion :: Husband and Tween BWCA trip alone - safe??
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Jackfish |
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proepro |
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Pinetree |
BSW: "Tomorrow I will bury my father who passed away on Sunday. Let her experience this with her dad. She will have this memory when she has to say her final good-bye. Sorry for the news and God bless your family. Also agree 100% with your statement. |
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GeoFisher |
I remember the first trip I took her on. It was a family cabin trip to Kawishiwi Lodge . AFter the trip, she told me she absolutely loved it, and absolutely loved going into lake one to fish, but "that was not what I did". So, the very next year, I planned a multi portage, multi lake, multi campsite trip with her and a few friends........ She absolutely loved it, and went the next 7 years. Some of my fondest memories. |
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SailorMom |
Last year, they had bears in their camp (Red Rock Lake), so this year, they will pick an island campsite and go to a place out of Gunflint that is In a location with passing campers. I’m concerned that if something were to happen, the 11 year old would be alone in the wilderness by herself and not know how to help her dad. Dad is planning to bring a satellite phone and says help is only 20 minutes away (outfitters by boat). However, as much as my daughter plays on our phones, I’m not sure she even knows how to use one to call! Ha. Please chime in on whether you think this is ok for them to go solo, and if they do decide to go, what can we do to get our daughter ready to help in case of an emergency or incident? Thanks! |
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HowardSprague |
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johndku |
Most places in the BWCA you're going to see a few groups paddling on any given day, so in a real emergency she's not going to be alone, and will also have the security of the satellite phone. No reason she can't learn to use it. Also get her a whistle and let her know that 3 whistle blows in a row, with a pause in between, and 3 more whistle blows is a distress call, and on the water you can hear a whistle from a long way away. Also might want her to take a CPR class, she's not too young. Though she won't need to use it while tripping, it's a great skill to learn and keep up on. The burn area ends halfway up Red Rock Lake, the northern part of Red Rock and parts further north were unaffected. Not to scare you, but black bears are great swimmers, being on an island won't make it any less likely you'll see them. However, as happy as they would be to take your food, they also are very, very unlikely to cause harm to a human, unless you're harassing it or wrestling it for your food stash. For your peace of mind you can have them take a can of bear spray, but they won't need it. Let them go and enjoy and rest easily while they're gone. |
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timatkn |
I'd just make sure the daughter knows how to run the sat phone in case the father can't for some reason. THen just have fun! T |
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AmarilloJim |
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TominMpls |
They'll absolutely be fine. I first took my daughter in alone when she was 9; an 11 year old is perfectly capable of doing her share, and he knows what he's doing so can teach her. It's a magical and fun experience, and they'll both have a good time. |
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Savage Voyageur |
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mirth |
I just came back from a 30 mile loop with my 13 year old (2nd trip) and my 6 year old (first time to the BWCA but 3rd canoe camping experience). Both had a great time & I look forward to many trips in the future with them. |
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poobah |
I took my 10 year old son last Fall, and it was a new experience for me to be with someone who essentially couldn't help very much with the hard work of wilderness canoe tripping - yet added a big responsibility for me. I brought my SAT phone, and we had a class on how to use it the first night out. There were tears when he realized what "using it" would mean - that Dad's out of commission - but we both felt like it was an important safety tool that he needed to feel comfortable with. He called his Mom a couple times as well, and that kind of demystified the whole thing about its use. We had an awesome trip! |
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ducks |
Kiporby: "I've been taking my daughter on trips with just the two of us since she was 3 years old. Ten years later and over a dozen of trips since then, nothing has happened to cause worry. We started on short trips in high traffic areas and have gotten more aggressive as her abilities and paddling and portaging strength increased. This dude right here and his trips with his daughter is what inspired me to start taking my daughter at age 5. Thanks again Kip!!!!!!!! My one on one trips with one of my daughters is one of my favorite times of the year!!!!! |
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Spartan2 |
Many of us have been thinking of you, and of them. Spartan1 and I have just returned from a really good time in the canoe country with our 15-year-old granddaughter. We don't go out into the BWCA on an overnight trip with her, and because of my mobility issues, this time I wasn't able to do as much with her as I would have liked. Spartan1 was the one who went hiking with her at Artist's Point in Grand Marais this year, and he also paddled in the canoe with her to the Clearwater Palisades, where they climbed the 400 ft. palisade on a challenging trail (quote Spartan1, "kicked my butt", and the teenager agreed!) together. Even for that afternoon I sat back at the cabin and worried, as he can have insulin reactions, especially with unusual physical exercise. I know how to handle a crisis; would she? But it all turned out fine, and they had a wonderful hike together, although they both took very uncharacteristic "afternoon naps" at different times after their return. :-) Sometimes we have to make sure they are prepared and then just trust. And almost all of the time it turns out fine. I am sure that your husband and daughter have made very special memories. Incidentally, you don't sound very much like a helicopter mom to me, either. Your concerns were valid, and I hope that the people here really did give you encouragement and some valuable ideas. This community is pretty good at that in general. |
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Kiporby |
This time between dad and daughter is precious and I wouldn't worry as they will have memories for life together from this experience. |
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HighnDry |
SailorMom: "I should also ask: is the area around and to the north of Red Rock Lake in the burn area? Just curious." I just camped with my son in Red Rock bay (Sag) to the north of Red Rock Lake. It was not in the burn area and we were not visited by anything other than mosquitoes in camp during the entire 4 day stay. Lovely area. Lots of forest cover. Great fishing as well. Plenty of canoeists in the area. They should be fine. |
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HangLoose |
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Ted??Bo |
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dicecupmaker |
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MN_Lindsey |
Canoearoo: "All 3 of my kids wear an emergency whistle around their neck. They know if they blow 3 times, pause and blow 3 times and keep doing it someone will come to help. They also know that the whistle is not for playing with. It's to get help or scare away bears. +1 We wear whistles too. |
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nctry |
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mc2mens |
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ChazzTheGnome |
she's old enough and more ready than you probably think. |
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nojobro |
(I hope it goes without saying that your daughter will wear hers.) |
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OneMatch |
Seriously it sounds just fine. With your husband's experience and a Sat phone and the area they will be in the only thing that will happen is they'll have a wonderful father/daughter trip that both will treasure for the rest of their lives. Worry not and enjoy your time as well! |
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SailorMom |
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nofish |
If you're concerned about your daughter being able to use the sat phone, my answer to that would be TEACH HER. At 11, she's old enough to learn something like that. I would also challenge your husband to give her some responsibility on the trip. Give her a map and let her navigate (your husband can be tracking location on another map as a back up without her knowing). Have her help plan, prep, and cook a couple meals. Have her plan and organize a day trip including thinking ahead about what they may need to bring on the day trip. You mentioned she has little in the way of survival or responsibility skills, well those things are only developed through teaching. No better time to start than now. Last year when my daughter was four, we went on a short hike together when camping at a state park and we talked the whole way about navigation skills. When we got to the furthest point on our hike, I said, ok lets turn around and you get us back to camp. You know what? She could do it. At 4 years old, she was able to process what we had talked about and find our way back. Kids are capable of WAY more than we give them credit for, they are just waiting for us to teach them. |
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jcavenagh |
Give your kid credit for being smart. Trust your hubby and kid. You will be rewarded. |
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SailorMom |
Jackfish: "SailorMom, do you feel better about things now or is it still difficult to get comfortable with the plan?" Yes, I feel better, and the advice has been awesome! Excellent responses. I think the person who came closest to stating my real concern was the one that suggested a full doctor check up for my husband. (His father had an early heart attack and two men we know have recently died suddenly of heart attacks.) My concern is that something would happen to him and she would be stranded alone with an unconscious Dad. However, the whistles, the fact that they are planning to stay in a area where others will be, and the suggestions that she take first aid/CPR all helped. Also, they plan to tow across the big lakes to avoid the wind/wave concern. I have been to the BWCA with my husband and friends and older daughter 3-4 times, but it was always with other adults in the party to help if something came up. Also, every time I have gone, there have been strong thunderstorms. My husband went with a group of friends for his bachelor party as well. They were evening fishing when a sudden thunderstorm came up. While paddling back to camp, their canoe tipped, and they ended up in the lake, in the dark, behind an island from camp with no paddles or life jackets on. It ended ok, but it was scary. So, that’s where my trepidation comes from. I just prefer they go with another dad/daughter group, as they have the last few years, but I trust his outdoor skills, and know they’ll have an awesome trip. I’ll be “camping” at our cabin! (And Ted??Bo was the post from my husband. Ha. Yes, honey, you’re awesome!) I’ll post (or have him post) afterwards to update everyone on how it went. Sincere thanks for all the great advice! (And, no, I don’t consider myself a helicopter mom - but none of us think we are, right!?!) ;) |
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minnmike |
I would also recommend to anyone going to BWCA to take a wilderness first aid course, or a regular first aid course at least once if not every decade or so. Knowledge can be a life saver. |
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4keys |
And just like anytime you go, everyone should have a basic idea of where they are on the map, and where the closest exit is. After picking a campsite, compare what she sees to what the map looks like. She should also at least know where the first aid kit is, so she can find it quickly if you get hurt. Get her involved in the planning. Give her some responsibility and remember it's ok if she makes mistakes. Put her in charge of picture taking. It sounds like your husband has more experience than a lot of people going there, and I'm sure he will be more cautious than usual with just the 2 of them going. You're probably more worried than they are. |
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Pinetree |
Just like anybody who goes my biggest concern is the skill level of paddling and paddle accordingly. Meaning know when to sit out getting big waves etc. You learn by doing and they will have to share chores more. |
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OCDave |
bobbernumber3: "Without a bicycle helmet and a helicopter mom, how did I ever survive childhood?? Of course, SailorMom is not going to let dad take her 11 yo into the BWCA with out the proper paddling Helmet and certainly she stocked up on the chewable, "Above the 47th Parrallel" multi-vitamin available only by mail-order from Sven and Ole's Pizza and Vitamin Shoppe well before this trip. Certainly, mom wouldn't allow him to take her daughter on an perilous adventure without first updating her vaccinations against Wanderlust, Vagabondism, Hoboism and Train Fever. Certainly, she has covered all the bases a good helicopter mom would address. |
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snakeybird |
Of course, you know your spouse and daughter, and have better insight than any of us if there is some challenge that would cause concern about this trip beyond general safety issues. If you are truly worried, could you perhaps go with them? FWIW, I have fond memories of a fly out trip in SE Alaska I did with my dad and cousin when the two of us were 8 year old kids. This was before the age of cell phones or Sat phones. We had a great time, and as my Dad stayed behind for work, got to feel all grown up when the float plane pilot flew us back to civilization after 5 days without a parent along! Not sure how the pilot felt about being saddled with 2 3rd graders! |
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bobbernumber3 |
jcavenagh: "There is no point in ridiculing a woman who has a valid concern and is asking knowledgeable people for their opinions. But if you want to worry, just Google "deaths in the BWCA". Accidents happen every year for a lot of different reasons. Something could happen. Anything. Tick bite, canoe capsize, tree on tent, giardia, broken leg on a portage, cut by an axe, bear issues, etc. My wife worries about everything. I don't think there is any post a member could publish that will diminish worry for her or the OP. |
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Blatz |
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SevenofNine |
It's more important to not overload the pack she is bringing. Having proper clothing and gear plus a bug net for her than worry about a bear. Boredom might be the biggest killer for the trip so make sure he has a game or two along. Hope they have a great time together and you report back on their trip. |
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mjmkjun |
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bobbernumber3 |
95% of the time they will be "safe". |
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scat |
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Canoearoo |
I read a story from a while ago. A mom, daughter (age 8 I believe) and grandma went canoe camping. Over night a storm blew up and a tree fell, pinning mom and grandma. 8 year old got her whistle and began to do 3 blows, break and then 3 again. She kept at it and 30 minutes later near by campers showed up and freed the adults who were not hurt. All this to say nothing will happen, they will be fine. We have done well over 50 bwca trips and never once needed help. But I make sure our kids know how to use the whistle. It gives them confidence to know how they can get help. |
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Pinetree |
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BadDad? |
She was in more danger riding her bike at home or crossing the street when you consider the way people drive. |
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bobbernumber3 |
Canoearoo: "All 3 of my kids wear an emergency whistle around their neck.... " Great point! A good emergency whistle is much more valuable than a sat phone, IMHO. |
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alpinebrule |
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jcavenagh |
The strong consensus is "Don't worry, they'll be fine." The probability of some misfortune befalling them is extremely small. In fact, that probability is far smaller than accidents in or near home. And, as has been stated again and again, there are a lot of people in the BWCA during the time her family will be there. |
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mjmkjun |
scat: "Geez - they are probably looking forward to not being hounded. I’s the BWCAW. It may be called a wilderness area, but is it really. It’s tine outside camping in a really nice area. There are people around." Agree! In 9 years of FINE wilderness tripping, I've not come across a bear, a wolf or any sort of trouble. Mayhap, someday I will but so far--nothing. My advice: Always wear PFD when paddling the lakes and bring a good dose of common sense. I am 68 and still go solo w/no dramas in the BWCA to speak of. I am not the worrying sort but I know folks who are. Pretty sure SailorMom thought this through before posting and just wanted some level of feedback for validation. |
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timatkn |
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Jackfish |
One thing worth stating - has your husband been to a doctor lately for a thorough checkup? Key word is "thorough". The full nine yards. That might set your mind at ease as much as anything. |
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heavylunch |
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ducks |
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Pinetree |
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hooky |
Sorry that a few people felt the need to belittle you for worrying. |
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BSW |
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