Since this is a depressing time I figured I'd start a thread to air some of our darker thoughts. I encourage this for venting only, but humor is welcome as well (if you feel comfortable) . Know that this is a safe place and that by getting these darker thoughts out we can start to let go of them.

Personally, I'm beyond frustrated that I have to cancel my trip on an already restrictive year. My BWCA trip is my happiest time of year, so it is painful to plan on skipping it. We all know there are more important things right now, but it can be healthy to let go of some of our darker thoughts instead of holding onto them.

I also have a greater plan for this summer.... http://scootercannonballrun.com/
However, the event which happens only every two years is seemingly starting to crumble apart.

My wife and I have been planning and prepping for this event...as much as we would plan for a BWCA event.

Looks as if we might have to put it on hold for a year....that being said....

With every thing going on, my wife is a nurse, and I work primary support for law enforcement. We both have jobs during this time. This is who we are, we stand and deliver.

Maybe next year, we can do the scooter thing or maybe we will do the canoe thing...

But I don't have any dark thoughts..........well I don't want to die lol.. I suppose that is a dark thought.

I don't have dark thoughts. Or at least I don't bring them up. I like to spend my time and energy on positive thoughts and positive people. And not spend time wallowing in gloom, doom and, woe is me.

My new pick up line.........Hey, I really like your mask.

yogi59weedr: "My new pick up line.........Hey, I really like your mask."

LOL!

yogi59weedr: "My new pick up line.........Hey, I really like your mask."

Or that mask really brings out the color of your eyes

A1t2o - Maybe you can postpone, go solo . . . ?

I haven't given up hope for late Aug. yet, but was planning a bucket list trip. At my age, you never know what year might be the last.

x2jmorris: "But I don't have any dark thoughts..........well I don't want to die lol.. I suppose that is a dark thought."

If you figure out how, let me know. On the bright side, I ain't gonna die young, but on the other hand, I'm a hell of a lot closer to it.

No doom and gloom here: I sure hope I get to be a New Yorker someday!

missmolly: " No doom and gloom here: I sure hope I get to be a New Yorker someday! "

Alive from New York....
Long Island is blowing up with cases, we are on serious lockdown. I have/had a canoe camping trip planned in Upstate NY for May, looks like I will have to settle for...I just don't know-my backyard. That's if I stay healthy & alive. My neighborhood/circle doing okay, people are beating this virus but it is fast, ugly & unrelenting. The elder & compromised community in facilities is in real trouble as are our health care workers. Heroes, angels in ppe, I know a few. They are exhausted & terrified, but determined to make a difference in people's lives. Keeping myself busy as my business is completely done for now. My husband is essential, so out he goes. For the most part people are doing what they need to do to flatten the curve. Checking on the elderly, bringing them what they may need (peapod type grocery deliver has been sporadic at best for some). Sending out the a.m. meme jokes daily to keep our spirits up despite the grim reality of what is happening around us. Giant tents / temporary hospitals & testing centers going up in hospital parking lots. The morgue refrigerator trucks waiting, yes they are here. Obits were a single page...now it's three. No services for the heroes & loved ones who are perishing, no 21 gun salutes for the brave that fought for us. It's all on hold...until. I don't know. Flatten the curve, wash your hands, stay home.
Sunshine today, yardwork is calling, I consider myself lucky to be able to do it. Peace out from New York.

I am going to just vent for a moment about how frustrated I feel that the US can't seem to get widespread testing rolled out...both testing for whether somehow is shedding the virus and whether someone has already developed antibodies. I presumably, based on an online nurse assessment, have been through the virus and have come out the other side. However, it is impossible to get confirmation of whether I am done shedding it. I waited the suggested time in total quarantine before even venturing out to get groceries. I still wear a mask and gloves even when I do go to the grocery store now, but...

The ONLY way to start our economy back up is to have widespread testing. Please, please, please let's give a rallying cry to our politicians that we want testing.

Not so sure this thread is the greatest idea, but what the hey, I can play.

I got the blues so bad
I’m turnin purple
Caught in a net
A vicious circle

Give me a virus
I got the bug
Put my head
Under a bearskin rug

Set my soul free
Keep your distance from me
Light me on fire
I’m a live wire

Try to hurt me
Nothing can
I’m impenetrable
I’m the bad man

Give me a break
Get a clue
Better keep back
Or I’ll hurt you

Wanna fight
I wanna go
I’ll break your nose
Let the blood flow

Don’t mess with me
Run while you can
I got the blues
I’m a bad man

I got the blues
I’m a bad man


Cheers!!! scat

Swampturtle, thanks for the report from the front line. I just read the interview of Fran Lebowitz in The New Yorker about a silent city. You might like it.

Stay safe. Sorry you might have to cancel your upstate NY paddling trip. I love upstate NY. It's one of my favorite places in the entire United States. I plan to paddle a local lake next month. I've been there a couple times and never encountered anyone, so I feel safe returning to it. It does have two abandoned cabins that are slowly collapsing and there's a long-abandoned farm on one shoreline. Maine is an abandoned land, which you soon realize simply by walking through the woods and encountering collapsing stone walls.

straighthairedcurly: "I am going to just vent for a moment about how frustrated I feel that the US can't seem to get widespread testing rolled
"

It's no different in Canada. If you think you have it you are asked to stay home and self quarantine. No test. None to spare. And since you haven't tested positive you are not counted as infected.

Taken to its logical conclusion, if they only tested the people who die then this virus would have a 100% kill rate.

I've got one trip scheduled for August and one for September. I'm still believing I will be on both trips. No gloom here!

Swampturtle, be safe - as safe as possible. Your post made me cry, might just be my personal pressure valve leaking but my prayers are with you!

I am sad that my daughter wants to come home with her child too. And cannot because of the CV and the fact her husband is a Cop and may come home exposed any day he works. We had to tell her no at this time. It is only a 4 hour drive. As a teacher who is now working from home, she could do that from our home and stay for as long as we or she wanted. The good news, it looks like neither of them has any issues with job security at this time.

I hear you Swampturtle. I’m from Long Island and my Mom is still there and lives in a senior community. They’ve been locked down tight and so far her community has been lucky. It is hard on them. So many are widows or widowers and curtailing the time they can be together such as closing the dining hall and all activities can make them very alone. We do our best with phone calls and my Mom has learned to use zoom for her religious studies class and today a Seder that covered 4 states and Israel. And it is necessary, reading Newsday (LI paper for the rest of you) has been scary. The curve is starting to flatten so that is a good sign. We just all need to stay strong.

andym: "I hear you Swampturtle. I’m from Long Island and my Mom is still there and lives in a senior community. They’ve been locked down tight and so far her community has been lucky. It is hard on them. So many are widows or widowers and curtailing the time they can be together such as closing the dining hall and all activities can make them very alone. We do our best with phone calls and my Mom has learned to use zoom for her religious studies class and today a Seder that covered 4 states and Israel. And it is necessary, reading Newsday (LI paper for the rest of you) has been scary. The curve is starting to flatten so that is a good sign. We just all need to stay strong."

I'm buttoned up with family, but many seniors are alone. I do worry about them and am calling just about everyone I know, young and old, more than I typically do.

As the stoics say "Amor Fati"

straighthairedcurly: "I am going to just vent for a moment about how frustrated I feel that the US can't seem to get widespread testing rolled out...

The ONLY way to start our economy back up is to have widespread testing. Please, please, please let's give a rallying cry to our politicians that we want testing.
"

I agree. New York found out early on that we had to be self reliant with regards to testing. Abbott Labs here on LI & NJ created the test kits & that has made all the difference in getter people proper care. I know people that have been tested, never been so happy for a diagnosis of pneumonia before. They are working on the next round of testing, for antibodies. Authorities are now calling for people that have beat the coronavirus to donate their plasma. You might want to look into that, if you feel comfortable. Allergies are ramping up here too, so it's important to be able to know what you are dealing with. Before the Spanish Flu here on LI 120+ years ago, TR's soldiers came back from war sick & they didn't know they were fighting flu, disentary, Typhoid & malaria all at once...in tents...on the beach.

I ended up not going last year (one of our group didn't listen to his doctor about laying off the candy, developed a 7mm kidney stone that had to be dealt with surgically and dropped off, the guy handling our permit cancelled it, I cancelled my vacation days, and then my buddies decided to rebook but there weren't enough EP slots for me to go, and I wouldn't have been able to rebook my vacation time anyways). I ended up taking a nice family vacation instead but it didn't scratch the itch at all.

All this feels like the same thing all over again but on a national scale.

missmolly: "Swampturtle, thanks for the report from the front line. I just read the interview of Fran Lebowitz in The New Yorker about a silent city. You might like it.


Stay safe. Sorry you might have to cancel your upstate NY paddling trip. I love upstate NY. It's one of my favorite places in the entire United States. I plan to paddle a local lake next month. I've been there a couple times and never encountered anyone, so I feel safe returning to it. It does have two abandoned cabins that are slowly collapsing and there's a long-abandoned farm on one shoreline. Maine is an abandoned land, which you soon realize simply by walking through the woods and encountering collapsing stone walls. "

Thanks miss Molly, I'm going to check out that article & do the best I can to protect myself & others. In my mind I am walking thru the woods discovering abandoned farms. I love New England, rock walls everywhere. Never been a more timely read...Anthony Bourdain- Typhoid Mary: an urban historical.
Wear your masks if you do go out, you never know if you are the super spreader with no symptoms like Mary Mallon.

minnmike: " As the stoics say "Amor Fati""

Candide, is that you?

boonie: "A1t2o - Maybe you can postpone, go solo . . . ?


I haven't given up hope for late Aug. yet, but was planning a bucket list trip. At my age, you never know what year might be the last. "

amen. At my age I never know if there will be another year. I am not getting any lither or limberer and this stay at home and bake stuff is not helping.
However I am still here and I do know one person who is on a vent and several who have tested positive.

One of my kids is working EMS in NYC but not high risk area. She is in logistics of moving crews and ambulances.

My sons in law are front line EMS in New Haven CT

My other daughter is working at Servpro ; overtime on disinfecting things.

At this stage my first priority is to see my family some 250 miles away; then paddling. My daughter in NYC does not live there. She is not allowed to come home as home is 100 miles from there. So she does not get to see her kids for at least a month. OTOH she says she will finally have the funds to remodel a crumbling bathroom!

Grandma L: "Swampturtle, be safe - as safe as possible. Your post made me cry, might just be my personal pressure valve leaking but my prayers are with you!"

Thanks, we all need to let off a little steam. Xo

Hell if I'm gonna go it'll be my choice. Been getting 'Death by Chocolate" cake from my nearest bakery lately! Seems I'm resilient to that, may need a bigger dose.

butthead

Little something to brighten this Gloom and Doom. "Covid Raphsody" probabally the best IMO

LindenTree: " Little something to brighten this Gloom and Doom. "Covid Raphsody" probabally the best IMO "

+1

Swampturtle -

Thanks for sharing your perspective from New York. This thread started out as a vehicle to vent darker thoughts but I find myself just being grateful for every day and learning to find joy in the moment and in new ways of connecting. In parallel, holding those who are suffering and who have lost loved ones in my thoughts and consciousness. Those who are putting themselves at risk every day to serve their communities. The disappointment of not being in Quetico on my annual Spring ice-out solo is quickly dissolved by the reality of the situation. We find joy in new ways. We have to.

Here, here!

Not doom, a bit of gloom perhaps

I’ve heard it said
That to have loved and lost
Is better
Than to have never loved at all

But, what is the cost
When you’ve loved and lost
How many hours are in a day
Before the pain goes away
And it gets better

Someone once said
That absence
Makes the heart grow fonder
Nonsense
My heart was fine and fond
It was better
Before I lost my loved


Cheers!!! scat

Been bugged a bit...

WARNING:

My dear beloved, henceforth please be advised, with extreme caution, that any further advancement of our relationship may cause changes in behavior, hostility, mania, agitation, dementia, unusual compulsions, depression, abnormal preoccupations, unusual cravings, suicidal thoughts or actions, allergic or serious skin reactions, some of which can be life threatening, excessive sweating, swelling of the face, mouth or throat, a rash, kidney failure, warts, lesions, heartburn, indegestion, eczema, scleroderma, psoriasis, (not to mention the heartbreak of psoriasis, oh geez man, you don’t know the meaning of heartbreak), acne, boils, zits, cysts, shingles, mumps, measles, hives, ringworm, toejam, jockitch, unwanted wrinkles, hair loss, nausea, trouble breathing and unusual or strange dreams. Use caution when driving or operating machinery. If an afterglow lasts for more than four hours, do no report it to a physician, you have beaten the bug!

Cheers!!! scat

scat: "Been bugged a bit...


WARNING:


My dear beloved, henceforth please be advised, with extreme caution, that any further advancement of our relationship may cause changes in behavior, hostility, mania, agitation, dementia, unusual compulsions, depression, abnormal preoccupations, unusual cravings, suicidal thoughts or actions, allergic or serious skin reactions, some of which can be life threatening, excessive sweating, swelling of the face, mouth or throat, a rash, kidney failure, warts, lesions, heartburn, indegestion, eczema, scleroderma, psoriasis, (not to mention the heartbreak of psoriasis, oh geez man, you don’t know the meaning of heartbreak), acne, boils, zits, cysts, shingles, mumps, measles, hives, ringworm, toejam, jockitch, unwanted wrinkles, hair loss, nausea, trouble breathing and unusual or strange dreams. Use caution when driving or operating machinery. If an afterglow lasts for more than four hours, do no report it to a physician, you have beaten the bug!


Cheers!!! scat"

What, nothing about ED?!?

ED? Is he related to Fred? I thought ED was dead. Died in his bed Fred said. A wicked life ED led. Was a Dead Head. Wore a pair of Keds, being a biped. They were red. ED was set to be married in a red pair of Keds, but he was off his meds. So Jed married Ned instead. And ED stayed home. Made sure he was well fed, then died in his bed. A wicked life ED led. So said Fred.

Enjoy your weekend!!!
Christmas is comin, scat

Did you do some ghost writing for Dr. Seuss? Good stuff.

Gloom and doom. What a concept. Wasn’t the original Doom and Gloom. Just sayin. It seems to me like a phrase from the Cold War, like USA vs USSR, missiles pointing at each other, sit down in the hallway kids, put your heads between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, acid rain is a comin...
Now if it’s Gloom first, then Doom, and that’s the new way of thinking. Why not. Makes sense I guess. Nasty virus and all. And who wants to kiss their own ass goodbye anyway
Let’s go with it! Give me Gloom before Doom!!! It’s the new way of thinking!!!

Enjoy your week!!! scat

burning bridges

when you burn a bridge
you don’t burn it half down
you make sure that bridge
is burnt off the ground

trusses, trestles
spikes and wire
creosoted ties
all up in a pyre

a bridge properly burned
is never crossed again
it has to be gone
from end to end

rails come apart
and weakened steel
down in a crash
seared off it’s heels

never look back lad
there’s tracks up ahead
this bridge has been crossed
look forward instead

scat: "burning bridges


when you burn a bridge
you don’t burn it half down
you make sure that bridge
is burnt off the ground


trusses, trestles
spikes and wire
creosoted ties
all up in a pyre


a bridge properly burned
is never crossed again
it has to be gone
from end to end


rails come apart
and weakened steel
down in a crash
seared off it’s heels


never look back lad
there’s tracks up ahead
this bridge has been crossed
look forward instead
"

Good one Scat
I need to hone my skills I guess, I was on a wildfire in Oregon 2011ish.
I came across this half burned bridge, like your poem said. It was rebuilt shortly due to our inability to burn it to the ground.

I remember when my family took a road trip out east to the Washington DC area. To visit my mom’s sister and see the sights. I think it was 4 or 5 of us 7 kids in a Delta 88 station wagon headed east from Chicago. We saw all the Washington monuments and whatnot, Gettysburg, that was eerie. Even as a kid i could feel an aura of death. One of the highlights was a trip to Harper’s Ferry, a tourist trap dressed up like it was back in the day. Totally cool. There is a classic Civil War story about blowing up a CSA ammo dump there I think. Best part was the town was on a bluff, at the confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers, and there was a trestle bridge across the Potamac, I believe, the river at the left looking out from the town, and at the end of it was a tunnel, coming right out of a mountain. So of course, I made my little brothers walk across the train trestle, stepping from tie to tie, with the river rushing below, just waiting, almost wanting, for a train to burst through the tunnel forcing us to jump off the bridge into the turbulent waters below. That was fun. A dare.

We then walked over to the literal confluence, where the rivers came together, and were on a rock beach. The rocks were perfect for skipping, and I swear, I broke the Guinness world record twice for skipping stones that day. It was 16 in the book, we had it with us, it was big back in the day and handy to have on a road trip like that with 4 siblings and 2 parents. I had an 18 and then 21 skips. No bs. Seen by two brothers, but they were just two little dopes back then, would follow me across a burning bridge or I’d beat them up, I never did get credit for that officially. Something about the current of the two rivers coming together, we were standing right on the point, and the shape of the stones, the angle you could throw from. I’m telling you the truth. It was like the perfect storm, so to speak. I own the world record to this day. I played my share of sports back in the day, but I still consider that one of the highlights of any athletic acheievement.

Cheers!!! scat

Delta 88 wagon!! All metal interior, no seatbelts, looking backward from the back seat..We had a '63 Chevy Bel Air wagon. We had Mom & Dad in front with 1 kid in between, then 3-4 in middle seat and 4-5 in the back. Luggage rack tied down on top..... I remember the great feeling late at night when the Holiday Inn sign said "Vacancy"...

Backwards seat was awesome on the 4th of July. It’s like it was made for it.

I have a station wagon story with an Ely connection, it involves Big Blue, a 1972 Caprice station wagon I bought in Ely for $500 cuz I crashed a company van coming back from town. No bs. It was the only way to get home to Chicago. I crashed it in June, took the mechanics in Ely till October till it was ready. So I had Big Blue all summer, with a wife and 3 kids. My boss thought it was funny, me crashing the company van. My customers loved it, I’m in construction and we are all nuts. Had the backwards seat. We, the family, took it on vacation to Crivitz, Wi. Cruising around Wi, in Big Blue. No AC. We didn’t care. We had fun. I thought it was awesome. Sold it to a buddy, got her back for a bit when I changed jobs, then sold her again. For $600. To a guy who does carpets in high rise buildings, but you can’t park pickups on Lake Shore Drive, so Big Blue found a home. Great car. I bought her at a garage, a car repair shop in Ely, cuz it was gonna be a long walk home... Best move I ever made.

scat: "Harper’s Ferry, a tourist trap dressed up like it was back in the day. Totally cool. There is a classic Civil War story about blowing up a CSA ammo dump there I think. Best part was the town was on a bluff, at the confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers, and there was a trestle bridge across the Potamac, I believe, the river at the left looking out from the town"

You remember the river configuration & bridge correctly.

I grew up in that region and my first canoeing trips as kid were on the Potomac (usually putting in at Antietam battlefield) and Shenandoah, always ending at Harper's Ferry after ~ 3 days. We'd then spend time running and re-running White Horse Rapids on that last day...and getting ice cream in Harper's Ferry at a little general store...


...about a Billion Years Ago.

sns - for whatever reason I remember the layout exactly, I can still see the tunnel on the far end of the bridge, we got to the middle then turned back. I remember the town as well. If I recollect, the amunitions storehouse that got blowed up was on the Shenandoah riverfront away from the town a bit. There was one street, most of the shops and displays being on the waterfront side. This was at least 45 years ago. At least. But I remember it, cuz Harper’s Ferry was a cool little spot. And I set a world record there. And that’s no ....

It was my goal to finish the SHT this year. If I'm still able to make my dates, I'm still good, starting to feel less hopeful on the early dates with transportation from Harriet Quarels etc... but worst case we can just take up multiple vehicles and do the shuttling ourselves.

I follow a lot of PCT and AT Class of 2020 on Instagram and those guys are heartbroken to have their LDT (Long Distance Trails) cut short, so that puts things in perspective.

Supposed to go to the BWCA early summer, feeling iffy if that will happen, but again, my fingers are crossed.

Sigh... At least I live on acreage and can work on the garden and raising poultry this year, and live near the Rum River for a local paddle. ;-) Maybe time to do another kayak run of the Rice Creek too!