The last 15 years I have done all the organizing for the trips for our group, planned the food, pulled the permits, and even lent out a good deal of gear. My wife after watching this for several years got my attention with "when are you going to push them out of the nest?". She went on to list all of the above.

I took this to heart and over the last 3 years have progressively let go of most of this. We vote on the week we go, then I call the outfitter with the number of canoes needed and the number staying in the bunkhouses, as well as permits needed.

I split the guys (usually 14-18) into 3 groups and had each group decide among themselves what they would do for food and gear. In my group I dropped back to only fixing the evening meal. In my camp they are on their own for breakfast and lunch. I also told them they need to bring their own Platypus gravity filters (I was always the one filling the filter bag). And I sold off all my camping gear other then what I personally use or the grandkids use. Then informed the guys that have been borrowing my gear for years that they need to buy their own and sent them Amazon links.

I know some of you are like I was and liked to plan the entire trip, food, gear, etc, and loaned out a lot of gear. But are we really doing those we bring a favor? They need to develop the skills we learned on their own.

So for 2023 I am following my wife's guidance. All of the guys have been to the BWCA many times. . .but most have just come, eaten the food cooked, used the gravity filters, borrowed tents/hammocks/packs. . .and never really learned to make those decisions on their own. Time to be pushed out of the nest.

Well you struck a nerve . I made my first trip to the boundary waters and now planning a trip for everyone (church community). It’s grueling. But I have to for them to see the beauty. I have to share. I have to plan. I have to be “that guy”. After 15 years I hope I can let go like you… I hope you can too.

I am the men's director at our church. We have done 15 years to BWCA, 4 years to the Adirondacks, and more then 10 years of trips on KY lakes and rivers.

I realized, like most things in church life, one or more people plan everything and the rest just show up. This is probably due to a few things: It is easier just to plan everything myself then include others; I get it the way I would like it; and the idea that if I turned it over to the men invovled it would never happen.

However that is not the pattern in the Gospels where the Lord challenged the disciples then turned it over to them repeatedly. I am going to start doing the same thing. The group now votes on the week we go. Then I call the outfitter and make reservations. We divide into three or more groups and each group plans "their" trip.

Some want to travel and portage. Others are content to take the nearest campsite and hang out for the week. And others want to fish the entire time. Bottom line it is now "their" trip. We all go the same week, share the bunkhouse, eat dinner before and after at Trail Center Lodge (sometimes the only walleye we eat), and visit each other's camp sites during the week.

I found that they have stepped up the challenge. Two of the guys, in charge of the other two camps, have excelled in camp cooking. Others have really done well fishing.

Once we as leaders take the responsibility of training other men/boys (in our case) on wilderness tripping and survival, we then need to turn them loose and let them lead as well. My only regret is that I should have done this (in terms of the BWCA) after the first year's trip when everyone knew what to expect going forwards.

ockycamper: "I realized, like most things in church life, one or more people plan everything and the rest just show up. "

You can easily drop "church" from your sentence and have a statement that covers about every human activity. Planning, as opposed to 'just showing up', usually has some personal rewards, but when those rewards no longer match the effort, it's time to step back.

TZ

We have the same thing in scouts…in some ways it’s easier to have one person in charge, but there can be resentment. Scouts are a little easier because the kids are supposed to do the work. We let them fail so they can learn…but I am also on the trip so their failure can ruin my trip too :) definitely a balancing act I haven’t fully mastered yet :)

I think where I have to take a deep breath is when people sit back and do nothing but then at the final hour make demands…let’s change the date, food, location, type, etc… Especially in scouts where we want to be inclusive, but every change accommodation we make for one family might cause an issue with another…especially me the planner. This year I solicited possible date options for the trips, set a date based on the majorities availability…then 2 weeks ago I was approached on doing separate trips, different dates…was told it will be just as easy, the planning would be the same. I had to put my foot down…while I agree it isn’t twice the work to plan 2 separate trips this summer it would be more work than I am willing to do and we are a small troop where people back out of plans all the time now a days, I fear neither trip would happen with 2 small groups.

T

Since I work in a church setting, I found this interesting.

As far as our yearly trips, I still plan most things and revel in it, but our group is small. My son and godson are part of the group and it gives me happy feelings to provide the work in setting it up. I've actually taken on MORE responsibility in recent years to ensure we get our permit and lighten loads. Also, one person in our group began inviting friends and squeezing others out. That needed attention. Since I've put in the work, I felt in a strong place to speak up and correct that.

That said, I get what is being brought up here. There's a good theological argument above, as well.

I have other thoughts on church trips that I'll post independently of this. I appreciated the comments.

We usually go in a group of 4 or 5 for 10 nights. Each person cooks at least 2 group dinners for everyone. Cook also does dishes. Everyone is on their own for breakfast and lunch. We each carry a divided amount of group items like tarps, pots, pans, fuel, water purification, wine bags, tents/hammocks and such. We do multiple group conference calls before the trip. One guy books entry point/permits. One guy books hotels. 2 guys offer vehicles to use. Hotels and gas all divided equally. Maybe this will give some ideas that can be used in your case.

I've done the same thing this year after planning the last 3 years and introducing 3 rookies to BWCA. Now its their turn. I trust em to make a good decision.

In total disclosure. . . .I missed this falls trip due to a cancer diagnosis. The 15 guys went on without me and did just fine!

The lesson I learned is that I am really not as important to the trip as I think I am.

The lesson you learned is that you gave these people the skills and love of the BWCA to succeed. But you will always be the foundation. I call that success!! Now you get to reap the benefits of your hard work: fun trips with less work.

Most of our repeat trip partners are experienced campers, even if new to the BW, and so we haven't faced these concerns. On those trips all of the work gets shared without discussion and everyone expects and wants to plan and cook their share of the meals. But let's be clear, in our thinking, "would you like to go camping together," is pretty much the biggest compliment you can give someone.

We did have one trip with a bunch of nephews who only had some camping experience. The first few days of that trip were pretty exhausting for me because I was teaching all of them everything and constantly answering questions. But after a few days they divvied up the work between them and it became downright relaxing. And neither my wife or I did a single dish! We kept offering but it turned out that our sincere offers of, "I can do the dishes," was what their Mom said when she meant, "if I have to do these dishes, you are going to be in big trouble." It was a great trip.

One year with 6 scouts and 3 leaders, it came as a surprise that the 6 determined we leaders were not doing even close to all the work around camp or even at portaging either. After this went into discussion, a divorce was arranged and all was divided into 2 separate trips with as much as possible no contact between the groups. After 2 days, the group of 6 begged and got a reunification. No more complaining after this point. they learned a lot and actually did suffer the consequences of failure. The 3 adults actually watched with interest/amusement and saw to it no physical danger was in play.

Congratulations for taking this step. You ARE an important part of the trip and you did your job, you helped the group gain experience so new trip leaders could step up. They will still look to you for guidance and advice. Step back and allow them to grow and succeed. Don't forget you learn from mistakes. Let them struggle and don't jump in too soon, they'll figure it out. They need to learn because they will someday be passing the baton to yet another generation.

Thanks for everyone's encouragement. Hoping to make this years trip with doctor ok

It's always hard to be the main trip planner. I'm lucky enough that my designated trippers all have their equipment but the planning aspect is totally up to me. It's a group effort to plan for gear but I plan the time frame, the route, and all travel plans leading up to the actual trip. The only thing they have to worry about is their own food and any gear they need for themselves.
To me the trip is about seclusion. I would never bring a group more than 4 out with me but kudos to you for having the patience!