Boundary Waters Quetico Forum :: Listening Point - General Discussion :: What would you do #5 Campsite Conflict
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Canoearoo |
You're on a women's church BWCA trip and you are the female leader and no one else has ever been to the BWCA. It's mid-trip and you get to a beautiful cove campsite with a sandy beach. You get camp set up, wood cut, tarps hung and you and your friend decide to go fish the point on the cove. The other group members decide to explore the shore line. As you and your friend are fishing the point from shore, three canoes paddle right pass you aiming right for your camp. You noticed they are older, in their late 70s or early 80s and don't have much gear. You watch in shock as they land at your obviously occupied campsite. You are more in shock as they get out of their boats, lay out picnic blankets on your beach, pop out the wine bottles and strip naked. Then all three couples proceed to toss their wine bottle and have sex right there on the beach... and then trade partners and have sex again. What do you do? |
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scat |
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Canoearoo |
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KawnipiKid |
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4keys |
Sitting here at home, I'm too shocked to even guess what I would have done if I was there in person. Paddle further away and pretend I noticed nothing, then move camp as soon as possible so I wouldn't keep seeing that in my head whenever I looked at the beach? |
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Stumpy |
Then I'd "accidentally" put a hole in the second canoe. Then I'd grab my axe and say "get your winkled asses off my beach", leaving them all in one canoe. |
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pswith5 |
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bwcadan |
I, like you, would have watched. I would have paddled closer so nothing got left behind, I mean taken. Did they use the trail to the latrine? That's a visual I would have preferred to have left unseen if they did not leave the beach. |
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missmolly |
So, their hunger for your attention kind of binds your hands. As tempting as it is to rage at them, being provoked feeds their need. In cities, I simply pretended like the perverts didn't exist. Still, in this world of facial recognition, you might have said, "I'll be taking photos of you and posting them online. You will be identified. Your families and neighbors and grandchildren will know." However, there might be no bridge too far for exhibitionists. They might even embrace that threat. |
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Speckled |
Two choices right? Let them finish or paddle over and confront them. I guess it depends on how close they were to my camp and actual stuff or where in location to normal travel / walking areas of the camp they were. |
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JWilder |
missmolly: "Here's the crux; They were exhibitionists, which I've seen in cities, but never in the woods. Whatever attention you tender to them excites them. They want you to gawk. They want to shock. I have never heard of this before. So this is actually a thing? I am in shock. It is going to take me some time to process this scenario. I really don't know what to say. So I won't. For now... |
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Canoearoo |
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Minnesotian |
After overcoming my initial shock at the brazen behavior, I would have paddled up, taken pictures of all their stuff as well as them, then grabbed a bucket or something that carries water and poured it all over them. After getting back to civilization, I would have informed the DNR and then posted everything on the internet. |
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Canoearoo |
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Blatz |
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missmolly |
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MikeinMpls |
JWilder: "missmolly: "Here's the crux; They were exhibitionists, which I've seen in cities, but never in the woods. Whatever attention you tender to them excites them. They want you to gawk. They want to shock. In my career, I have psychologically evaluated many exhibitionists. Yes, it's a thing. Many different reasons why people do it, but it is very much a thing. Mike |
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JWilder |
Here is what I would do: Watching the three boats approach my campsite so brazenly, I would think this might be an emergency situation. With this thought, I would hold my position. As I witness the picnic blankets being deployed, the bottles come out and clothes come off. I am now fast approaching. As I pull up and exit my boat, I say “Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, but this site is occupied, which is so blatantly obvious to anyone that has even partially functioning eyeballs. I am feeling quite forgiving today and therefore will exude extreme patience with you.” As I pull out my canister of bear spray, I continue. “I am giving you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good naked keister off of my campsite, before I unload this can of bear nectar in your faces. One, two, ten!!” And then. Discharge!! The whole can… I feel that age discrimination would be inappropriate in this scenario. JW |
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Jackfish |
Canoearoo: "(Disclaimer: there are old drunk naked people below.) Cindy, you had me wondering where this was going after reading "old drunk naked people" and "women's church BWCA trip" in consecutive sentences. LOL Incredibly brazen behavior by those folks. Hard to believe that they would be in their 70s and 80s and doing that in front of other people and that they chose to go into the BW to get their jollies. I believe this would be a case of, "I guess you'd have to be there" to really know what I would have done, but I probably would have been inclined to go the Minnesotian route and bring a bucket of water down there and cool them off. |
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Canoearoo |
Ok, so the rest of the story... My friend and I took twenty minutes to hike to the point. We were a ways away from the beach, but could see it. The others in our group were out exploring the shore line about fifteen minutes to the east. When they pulled up to the beach, my friend asked me if it was normal to share a campsite like this. I said no not at all... then they took out their picnic blanket and wine bottles. I told her maybe they are having lunch, but glass was not allowed. This was really odd. We then discussed their age and wondered how they made it over the portages and concluded that it must be why they had very little gear. We kept fishing and then my friend looked back and gasped saying they took off their clothes and are having sex! I took a quick peek and said, "Oh my goodness", and then looked away. We tried to keep fishing, but it was difficult because we were so disgusted. She then said they are getting up, don't look! Then she yells, "They are swingers!" I asked what a swinger is and she explained... EWWWWW. After a while they got back into their canoes and paddled away. We got back to camp and I couldn't find the other half of our group. I saw the wine bottles laying around and just left them there. It was evening now so I wasn't going to move our group. At this point, the rest of the group comes out of the woods. I asked them where were you? And they said..."WHAT KIND OF A PLACE DID YOU BRING US TO!?" I told them that was not normal at all. They told me they had seen some canoes coming to camp so they started heading back to camp. They made it to the edge of camp when they saw a bunch of naked 90 year olds having sex on the beach. They were mortified and ran into the woods. They hid in the woods near camp covering their ears because they were too close for comfort and could hear everything. When the old couples started swinging, my group decided to walk away from camp for a while and they just got back. They were traumatized. Back then, we didn't carry bear mace (I do now) and when something like this happens so unexpectedly, as a woman, I did feel powerless. The act of self protection states if you don't start nothing, there won't be nothing. If you confront who knows how crazy they could be. I choose from the get go not to hike back to camp and instead to wait it out. I'm not sure what we would have done if it was my family with our kids. But we carry bear spray and I'm sure my husband would have approached them right away before they even got out of their boats. At the end of the trip, the women were not mad anymore. One was a 40 year old farmer wife and she told me there is more peace and privacy on her farm than in the BWCA, which did make me sad. They also said they learned more than they ever cared to on that trip. Sadly, only one ever went back to the BWCA. |
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Savage Voyageur |
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missmolly |
Had that happened, I would have cried, "It's a miracle!" |
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trstuck |
If missmolly is right, they probably would have ignored my pleas for them to leave and continued their orgy to my utter dismay and incredulity. I can only guess that I would document the occasion with photos (ewww!) including wine bottles and canoes to identify the outfitter and bring all to the authorities upon exiting. I may have even followed them back to their campsite (unless it was possible they were day-tripping to your lake) to get further proof. I can only imagine my outrage if I had brought young boys who were forced to witness this egregious behavior. I'm not sure how I could recover and enjoy any of the rest of my trip after this. |
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missmolly |
Canoearoo: "Love your answer Miss Molly lol " ;-) |
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bhouse46 |
Consistent. Having someone land at an occupied campsite is a no no so being upset is consistent. But they did not enter the camping area or mess with gear. Getting naked and having sex, exhibitionism, but no harm other than having that vision in the head. Proportionate. To be traumatized is a bit overkill, offended but not frightened or freaked out. Motivated to be assertive, not aggressive makes sense. Resolving. In the end it seems most moved on having an unusual story to tell. For those who over reacted, the memory may not resolve and lives unfortunately altered. I would approach, take photos of the canoes with state stickers, and advise the behavior is not okay and if they leave the bottles as they disperse the photos will be shared with the Forest Service. I would then return to my previous activity. I would not engage in conversation...that feeds the exhibitionist. I probably would not look at the people (who wants to see that?), but talk loudly to the canoes. |
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merlyn |
I have a friend whose wife is VERY vocal in expressing her religious and political opinions to anyone, friend or stranger. Perhaps something like that triggered the incident or maybe it was pure bad luck. In any event it was deliberate, in MO. What I would do: I'm 70, fat, pale and WAY out of shape; I don't want to see myself naked, let alone six other gomers nude. Someone landing at my obviously occupied campsite, other than in an emergency, would be, to me, like a home invasion and my reception would be like Stumpy's. |
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Canoearoo |
No it never occurred. I don't know how they would have known where we were staying because we moved every day |
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MikeinMpls |
There are so many things I want to say I would do, but situation, circumstances, mood, etc would dictate at the time. But I can tell you, they would stop and be gone in record time... Mike |
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A1t2o |
Now, if they were acting like that somewhere visible but not my campsite... Not my business. It's the wilderness, you can't control what you see out there. NOT going to watch people my grandparents age going at it, but I'm also not going to blame them for trying to pretend they are young and being all out of F's to give about who is watching. |
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missmolly |
JWilder: "I hope I am not breaking the rules here. Maybe just bending them a little? Younger would have made it creepier for me because of the greater possibility of violence had there been a confrontation, due to the greater strength and agility of younger people. |
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HowardSprague |
If I hadn't headed them off upon landing and advised them the site was occupied ("are you in trouble, you need something? No?, well this site is taken have a good day."), I'd have been tempted to accidentally shove off one of their canoes and observe in amusement as it drifted away and they had to deal with it. If they were at their own site and I wee paddling by and saw that, I'd likely just have a "to each his own" attitude...but intruding is a different ballgame. |
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MikeinMpls |
HowardSprague: "That was one of the more memorable old CCBB posts and provided us with some good humor for quite some time. Completely agree with HS and A1t20. I've seen naked people in the Bdub, but they were discrete and not out to make a show out of things. I'm not easily offended by that sort of stuff, and I'd just let people enjoy the northwoods au naturale. Mike |
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sns |
:-) |
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RunningFox |
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Canoearoo |
HowardSprague: "That was one of the more memorable old CCBB posts and provided us with some good humor for quite some time. Yes, I remember posting about it on the CCBB right after I got back. I believe most people thought I was lying. |
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scat |
I def would not be confrontational. Just go away with your creepy scene. |
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JWilder |
There has been quite a bit of focus on the age of the couples. Understandable. That is a fact of this scenario. Let's say that the age of the couples happened to be in their twenties. Would that change a few minds on how they would have handled it? Same ethical and written rules were broke; invasion of an occupied site. LNT policies violated and the indecent exposure to those occupying the site. Again, not to change the scenario, but the chances of this happening to another group or an individual is A LOT more likely with a group of 20 somethings than senior citizens. I still cannot believe this actually happened!! JW |
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Canoearoo |
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scat |
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RunningFox |
I recently asked my Doctor if my heart was healthy enough for sex. He said: “yes, just so long as I don’t participate”. So I might consider this a long belated answer to my prayers. |
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JWilder |
RunningFox: "As it says in the Bible “To err is human, but it feels divine”. May I, with all due respect, correct the origins of this statement. The Bible does not say this. This is a quote from an old English poet, Alexander Pope. "To err is human, but to FORGIVE is divine." Respectfully, JW |
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A1t2o |
JWilder: "I hope I am not breaking the rules here. Maybe just bending them a little? I strongly disagree that people in their 20's are more likely to do this. It takes people a while to figure out what they like and learn to ignore social expectations. If you're familiar with how much people get around in an assisted living facility then you know what I mean. As far as indecent exposure, is that applicable in the BWCA? Is the wilderness considered public? |
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analyzer |
I think my initial reaction would be: Where's the camera(s)? I would be thinking someone was pulling the greatest prank ever. I'd have to ask all my friends, whose birthday is today? It makes me wonder if one of you had an ex-husband that wanted to get even or something. It's so random. Makes me wonder if they had some sort of episode on that beach in their twenties, and decided they were going to relive the moment. |
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JWilder |
A1t2o: "JWilder: "I hope I am not breaking the rules here. Maybe just bending them a little? I can't say I do know what you mean. |
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analyzer |
My thoughts: 1. I'm jealous. 70 and 80 year olds having sex. I'm 56, and sometimes my little buddy doesn't want to cooperate. i'm lucky if I can use erection in a sentence. 2. Have you ever had sex on the beach? Have you ever gotten a grain of sand in the wrong spot? It's not very comfortable, in fact, it can be quite painful. Who needs bear spray? Just walk over, and pour a little sand on them. Lol. 3. I honestly probably would've just watched for a little bit, and laughed. It seems so surreal, I'd wonder if I was having some sort of senior episode. I'd definitely have to ask the person next to me if they were seeing the same thing I was. (Leaving the wine bottles bugs me more than the rest of it). 4. Was Suzanne Summers one of them? Yahoo Life Videos Suzanne Somers, 74, says she and husband Alan Hamel have sex '3 times before noon' Mon, March 22, 2021, 7:35 AM The "Three's Company" star and breast cancer survivor spoke candidly about her and husband Alan Hamel's thriving sex life in an appearance on the "Heather Dubrow's World" podcast, sharing that the couple has sex "three times before noon." 5. I couldn't help but think of this story: The husband leans over and asks his wife... "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence." |
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Canoearoo |
When I told my husband what happens he said it wasn't about the sex for them. For all you know nothing was working. It was the shock value. By not reacting we didn't give them what they were looking for... Attention. And really they were not there for hours. It was maybe 20 minutes. |
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missmolly |
Canoearoo: "Eveyone in my group was 40 years old or under. We moved evey day so no one knew where we were. I think it was random. We put in at Isabella lake that Sunday. This was Wednesday. We did about 4 or 5 portage a day. I really think it was random. My guess is this was a beach they were going for no matter who was at it. I wasnt traumatized but it's hard to explain to people because they always think I'm lying. That part annoys me. And I feel bad for leaving the wine bottles. I kicked them under the tree but couldn't pick them up. I haven't doubted you for a nanosecond. Like your husband, I agree it was intended to shock you. It was a show. That's what exhibitionists do. They crave attention like tiny pageant performers. |
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LindenTree |
What kind of wine? I'm guessing Merlot because they were not chillin it. It could have been Pee No Noir. |
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RunningFox |
JWilder: "RunningFox: "As it says in the Bible “To err is human, but it feels divine”. " You are correct: It’s not in the Bible. But I would still forgive them, even though the whole thing smells a little fishy. I would want to sit with these “elders of a gentle race” and discuss things. After all, they too are fellow canoeists. I would be interested to hear their preferences: Bent shaft or straight? Kneeling? When and for how long? T-grip or palm? J stroke or pry? Strokes per minute? And of course, favorite knots? |
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Stumpy |
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Canoearoo |
Stumpy: "Canoearoo, can you tell us the lake ?" I would have to check my notes. We put in on Isabella and moved every day. I don't remember our route. |
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RunningFox |
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