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05/18/2017 05:17PM
I believe boonie mentioned something in another thread about writing fake trip reports. I think that sounds kind of fun...

So, I am going to start a faux trip report here, and if you want to add it to, please do. Ideally, you will not hit "reply with a quote," but rather just "reply." The idea that each new post simply adds to the one before it.

Let's see how creative we can be...

Day 1
Arrived in Grand Marais at around 5 pm after a 6 hour trek from the Twin Cities. A couple of spots of traffic on 61, but I have come to expect that. I am supposed to meet a couple of folks from the bwca.com site at Trail Center for a meal at 6:00. After that, we are heading to Rockwood to spend the evening before leaving early tomorrow morning. Our EP is 47 (Lizz and Swamp), and other than that, we decided to literally have no specific travel plans for the next 14 days; we are going to let the spirit of adventure determine our course! All of us are fairly seasoned paddlers, and we will each be paddling our own canoes. We have each planned and packed meals for 5 days, so we are covered on the food end, and I am excited to see how this whole thing plays out. Off to the Trail Center!
 
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quark2222
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05/18/2017 08:01PM
Got thoroughly trashed at Trail Center and were almost thrown out. Probably would have been, but the Cook Country Sheriff in Grand Marais was 30 minutes away.

Food was good. So was the liquor - and I mean really good. We all woke up the next day with a really bad hangover, not really ready for day to unfold. We planned to get to Winchell the first day to give us some travel options, but we barely made it to Horseshoe before we were pooched out.

Went to bed really early - about 5 pm. Total catch - No fish. Lesson learned: Heavy drinking = No fish and no headway. But, we did have a good time, so we had that going for us.
05/18/2017 09:04PM
Day 3

Fully cured from our nasty hangover, we woke up fairly early and packed up camp. Was going to head towards Windchell, but decided to head south to Vista in hopes for the 5 star campsite on the SE end of the lake.

We had a quick breakfast and headed south. Saw a moose and a calf near campsite 675 and snapped a photo!

Got over to site 771 with no trouble. Absolutely nobody on Vista today! Fished around and caught some SMB. Kept one for dinner. Made it over the fire with a it of ghee and lemon juice, salt and pepper. It was awesome.

The rest of the night was spent looking at the stars with a roaring fire going, and the dancing northern lights were in full display. Today was a good day!


(disclaimer: google photo search - not my photos)
05/18/2017 09:45PM
I climb into my hammock for the night, while everyone else retreats to their tents. Just as I doze off I hear......
Rob Johnson
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05/19/2017 12:43AM
the low growl of the bear we would later come to call Mamma. The next thing I heard was my fellow camper say,"$#!+! I forgot to put the lid back on the bear barrel!"

Fell outta the hammock reaching for the headlamp I had carefully placed just out of reach. Started crawling around looking for that blasted headlamp. Stopped cold when my hand felt something unexpectedly furry.

That's about the time Sig got his flashlight out revealing that I had just latched on to a bear cub we would later come to call Bear Cub. Bear Cub and I locked eyes in a moment of silent terror. We then both took a deep breath and we both let out a holler.

That, of course, got Mamma to look our way. She had been snoot-deep in the bear barrel, turning our 5 day supply of food into a snack but now Bear Cub and I had her full and undivided attention.
MikeinMpls
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05/19/2017 06:45AM
quote Rob Johnson: "the low growl of the bear we would later come to call Mamma. The next thing I heard was my fellow camper say,"$#!+! I forgot to put the lid back on the bear barrel!"


Fell outta the hammock reaching for the headlamp I had carefully placed just out of reach. Started crawling around looking for that blasted headlamp. Stopped cold when my hand felt something unexpectedly furry.


That's about the time Sig got his flashlight out revealing that I had just latched on to a bear cub we would later come to call Bear Cub. Bear Cub and I locked eyes in a moment of silent terror. We then both took a deep breath and we both let out a holler.


That, of course, got Mamma to look our way. She had been snoot-deep in the bear barrel, turning our 5 day supply of food into a snack but now Bear Cub and I had her full and undivided attention."


....momma forgot about her appetizer of oatmeal and freeze dried chili mac in the barrel and made her way to the main (meat) course: me. Of course she only wanted to protect her offspring who continued to bellow a sound of terror that can exist only in nature. So I jumped from the hammock, barefoot, and took off toward the water. Why, I don't know. But here I am, about to jump into Vista Lake, when, as if from nowhere....
Savage Voyageur
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05/19/2017 06:52AM
When I step on one of my buddies fishing rods with a F19 silver Rapala with three sets of treble hooks. I'm now screaming loudly in pain as the hooks embed deeper in my foot with every step. The spider line he has on the rod has no more slack in the line and it's now stretched out tighter then a banjo string in Dixie. I trip and fall landing on our Aluminum Grumman canoe. The metal canoe sounded like a war drum beating as I land on it. I look up and now the bear is...
05/19/2017 09:24AM
Running with her cub up the latrine path. Unfortunately, one of my companions had gone for a call of nature prior to turning in....
SouthernExposure
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05/19/2017 10:02AM
We had enjoyed SMB burritos for dinner and it had taken a nasty gastric toll on Sanjay. He was rocking the thunder box when Bear Cub and Mama come roaring down the trail straight at him. He jumps straight up, losing his shorts in the process, manages to briefly get past the bruins and is sprinting back towards the camp with a roaring bear behind. He decides that his only chance is to head to the water and jump in, hoping that would deter Mama. Much to his surprise it did! As Sanjay stood out there in the cold chest deep water, the bear finally gave up and headed back into the woods with Bear Cub. Sanjay waited a while until he was sure that he was safe. That's when he found out...
05/19/2017 12:18PM
Just as he was emerging from the water that Miss Molly canoes at night with a very bright headlamp....."I was in the water!!!!!" He exclaims, glancing down, and back up again...."I was in the water!!!!"....
missmolly
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05/19/2017 02:57PM
quote Cc26: "Just as he was emerging from the water that Miss Molly canoes at night with a very bright headlamp....."I was in the water!!!!!" He exclaims, glancing down, and back up again...."I was in the water!!!!"...."

George! Love that guy.
missmolly
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05/19/2017 02:58PM
Days 2-29: Caught bass on a silver Skitterprop the second morning. Good time. Hoping for a fine bluegill fry, I switched to four-pound test line, a thin wire Aberdeen, a slip bobber, and a wax worm. The bobber went down so slowly I was wondering if I was imaging it. I set the hook and it felt like I'd hooked a boulder. Then the boulder began to move. I knew four-pound test wouldn't stand up to a pulled canoe, so I paddled as best I could while keeping the rod pinned between my ankles. This went for hours. I became so adept at simultaneously managing the paddle and the rod that I was actually able to read while playing the fish. The book? OLD MAN AND THE SEA, natch. A group passing me asked if I needed any help.

"A little food would be nice," I said, and they ponied up some granola bars.

Come the gloaming, the fish stopped and while I slept, I wondered if the fish did the same. The next morning, my Ontario sleigh ride began again.

By noon, I switched to MOBY DICK and by the fourth day, I began to quote Ahab, shouting: "He tasks me! That whale, he tasks me!"

Kind-hearted paddlers still tossed granola bars at me, but I barely ate them for my hate fed me.

By the 29th day, I was spent, cursing, "From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale. "

And that's when the beast died. Luckily, my infamy, born of obsession and madness, had spread and there were people aplenty to winch the monster out of the water. This is no faux trip report. The proof is in the photo, me mateys:





P.S. - A fine fish fry was had by all.
quark2222
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05/19/2017 04:53PM
The end came from Miss Molly so quickly, that I thought I would add more detail, starting with Day 4.

We awoke to a strong smell of smoke in the air. Uh Oh. What the heck is that all about? We could see smoke way off to the West. Obviously some sort of forest fire, not real big yet, but certainly impressive. Being brave souls, we decided we needed to get some fishing in while we could . . .

Tomster
05/21/2017 10:45PM
Day 4
As it turned out, it was the group who had posted earlier this year on BWCA.com about a bachelor party and they were dancing with the "Mary Jane" if you know what I mean...

We thought about paddling over to either tell them to knock it off, or hell join in, but instead we threw the 3# Northern we caught today off Winchell that Missmolly was hallucinating about! She was convinced we had caught Moby Dick, but then again, we wondered if she had paddled over to our neighbors campsite for a little Mary...
05/22/2017 04:24PM
This is why you don't make snap decisions based on minimal information. I thought this was the dumbest idea I ever heard, then I read the thread, not sure I've ever been more wrong in my life, and that covers some territory.
Basspro69
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05/22/2017 06:14PM
Once I woke Max from that mushroom laced night train induced coma he was in(speaking of making snap decisions with minimal information) and told him and Mrs Molly that they should put some clothes on. Mrs Molly was rambling on about some prehistorically large fish that she had been fighting for a month straight, and Maxx had a big box of pop rocks in one hand and some glow sticks in the other. I told them that a least five groups had come to my previous campsite because they saw smoke and were worried that a fire was going out of control, only to discover that was my trip mate Mark who had eaten cabbage and Spam surprise the night before and was lighting farts that rose like clouds of black smoke on the horizon. Maxx had just finished a rope swing and was headed out to the middle of the lake and the end of a mighty swing when an ominous looking fellow appeared from the woods and said...
05/22/2017 08:09PM
Hi, my name is Aaron King. Got any grub?
05/22/2017 09:10PM
quote Wables: "Hi, my name is Aaron King. Got any grub?"
Omg hahahahaha this is great
missmolly
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05/23/2017 06:15AM
I present photographic proof and still ye thinks I be mad!
Basspro69
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05/23/2017 02:51PM
quote Wables: "Hi, my name is Aaron King. Got any grub?" LOLOLOLOL
Basspro69
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05/23/2017 02:52PM
quote missmolly: "I present photographic proof and still ye thinks I be mad! " LOLOLOLOL
walleye_hunter
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05/24/2017 07:22AM
We offered Aaron King some of the shark fin soup that Miss Molly had made from the fins of the small pike that she claimed was a giant whale shark. The soup was terrible but...
05/24/2017 07:48PM
Aaron had lived with the Weddafukahwee, the ancient lost tribe that still lives west of Zephyr. There's some tall weeds back there, they never have any idea where they are. He learned the dance of Misa Gami, the ugly water goddess. She has the body of Serena Williams and the head of an Eelpout, which has made many a weary traveler reconsider everything he thought he knew about life. Soon, the soup turned to Prime Rib, along with many sauces and side dishes. Then Brad reemerged from the woods in an Elk skin one piece man-thong, and the goddess could not resist such a man. There was plenty for all and we celebrated greatly. Then there came a mighty roar from the forest and a large tree crashed to the ground, before us stood Amma Rotan, the husband of Misa Gami, and he told us this story..........
Savage Voyageur
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05/24/2017 10:28PM
Of the large tree crashed to the ground. Amma used his home made saw and axe and carved out a giant cribbage board. There was wood chips everywhere from his chopping of the giant forest behemoth. It looked like the work of a crazed beaver on a month long binge of caffeine, mushrooms and Yeager Meister . The final product was 30 feet long and the counting pegs were 6" in diameter. For a deck of cards he cut birch bark right off of 52 live trees, because they make better cards than dead trees. Just as he was about to try the giant board out a...
 
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