As many of you know we lost our son Jared to suicide 9 years ago. Since that day I have not been able to sleep without the television or radio on . Silence seems to bring out the demons of that terreffic event. Yes, we did the therapy route for awhile, which to me was not much help, although I’m sure others have benefited greatly . The weird part about it is when I’m alone in the woods , even on the most silent nights that the woods sometimes holds, I do not have these issues at all. I guess they call it “Gods Country” for a reason

Very interesting. Hope peace comes to stay in your heart no matter the environment.

Walllee-

I would echo mjmkjun's hope that peace comes to stay in your heart no matter the environment.

boonie: "Walllee-


I would echo mjmkjun's hope that peace comes to stay in your heart no matter the environment. "

I am at peace, or as at peace as I can be. Always smile when I think of him . It’s the good memories that flood my mind.

As quiet as we think it is, it is rarely completely silent in the woods. Any breeze will bring some sound from the trees. The smallest riffle on the water will bring some sound from the shore. The buzzing of flying insects. The loons, owls. and other birds singing, rustling of night time rodents, a fish jumping, birds flying or flitting by, even the insects moving through the duff can create very small sounds. Ever sit on a camp log and hear the bugs chewing on it from the inside? Whether we realize it or not, we hear it all. It is all different from the sounds of our homes and it is different from campsite to campsite. Sounds affect us in powerful ways that we don't always understand or even realize. If that is where your heart and mind find peace, then I hope you get to spend more time there.

So sorry for your loss. No words can express.

Just keep going back to canoe country or like you say... God's country... Where we go to find that peace. Amazing place!

nctry: "Just keep going back to canoe country or like you say... God's country... Where we go to find that peace. Amazing place!"

Yes it is Ben.... hope to be there most of the summer....

It is a powerful place and settles us in so many ways. I hope you do get many days of that this year.

I hope nature just floods you with healing!!!!

Walllee
I will be up there June 16th for 2-3weeks.
If your there then, let's HOOK up and fish Burntside. I just picked up my new 16 ft Lund fury tiller w 25. I believe your same boat.
Maybe we can bribe TGO with some deer sausage to put us on big eyes.

By the way, how do you trailor.. motor up ,down or transom saver.

Walliee,

May the healing powers be with you on your journey.

My brother took his life in 1998, weird thing was that my mother was a family counselor and my sister was on the suicide prevention team for the White Earth Rez.
We all knew he had issues, but we never figured his pain was that serious.
We still blame ourselves for not seeing and doing something different.

My brother was a firefighter like me and worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs, I was involved with the search and rescue, which took over three days.
He hid himself very well in the big woods of the Rez, for his last journey.
I'm so thankful I was not the one to find him.

Thank god you have the BW, I pray that your future provides you with good sleeps in places other than the BWCA.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am also very truly sorry for the loss of your son. I know that a full healing can never occur, but do believe that the undefinable power of nature can help us find peace.

I don't want to hijack your thread Lee, but we share a common grief in that I lost my son to suicide in 2005, he was 19. I promised to take him to the Boundary Waters because one of his friends told him what a grand time he had going with his father. I put it off waiting for the right time - I put if off too long, my God the guilt. I had never been to the BW before, let alone knew what it was but learned a little about it and hoped to do it one day with him. Didn't happen and it haunted me terribly. It's the reason I took my other younger son in 2007, and have had several trips since. Sleeping was terrifying for a long time and drinking was one way that kept bad dreams from occurring. Not good, but I've overcome that for the most part.
The BW 'God's Country' has allowed me to let go of some of the guilt I held by not taking him, and is the one true place I feel at peace as well.
Thanks for posting and I feel your pain while my eyes are watering.
John

sorry to hear of the loss of your son. losing a child is life changing.
I lost my firstborn in 1990. she was 10. i have another daughter that has filled in the heartache, with 2 grand kids.
at times i still am sad, but that's ok, it has lessened over the years.
may healing continue for you and your wife.
may it continue for all who have lost a child too soon in life. paddle on :)

I'm grateful you have sanctuary somewhere.

Wow - that is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for you. I hope you have a great summer and the pain will be somewhat assuaged from your time in the woods. I haven't seen my son in a year and half. Tried the tough love thing with him. Not so sure that was a good idea, I kind of think it was, but I just want it to get better. I will just keep on trying. We had some good times together in BW. Hoping we will again. Peace brother.

For those that remain behind suicide creates a hole in your soul that can never be filled. I became an adult when on Christmas day at age fifteen my single parent mother of five took her own life. The confusion, the questions that will never be answered, the self doubt will never completely go away. May you never forget but one day forgive and find solice wherever you can.

Truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow you feel. Peace to you and his mother.

I visit bwca.com often, and thoroughly enjoy gleaning information from everyone. But hearing of the tragedy your family has experienced brings me quickly to a moment of prayer for you and your family. I hope you continue to find increasing peace when in the northwoods and at home. I appreciate your willingness to share the depth of what canoe country means to you.