The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The
only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find
a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with
a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story
window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph, right into the open window.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect
arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach
asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won
the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my
adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have
to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago.”

AWESOME LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's bad........:)

Didn't see that one coming...not bad!

And then the family moved to Green Bay to escape city life and each member gained fifty pounds from od'ing on cheese curds and bratwurst, they maxed out their credit cards on flannel shirts, Pabst beer and deer urine, and each broke an ankle doing a punk rock polka dance at a VFW hall wedding.
Then they moved to Minneapolis...

I like it!!

Unfortunately, the family fared no better in Minneapolis. The QB's career ended abruptly because he was so traumatized by being forced to play football in purple pants he hid in the closet during the entire training camp, the male family members grew horns on their heads, the females alarmingly noticeable blond facial hair and the whole group was almost lost when they fell through on their first attempt at ice fishing.

So then they tried Detroit. Refer back to Chicago but amp it up times two...

Ha! Good one!

quote scat: "Unfortunately, the family fared no better in Minneapolis. The QB's career ended abruptly because he was so traumatized by being forced to play football in purple pants he hid in the closet during the entire training camp, the male family members grew horns on their heads, the females alarmingly noticeable blond facial hair and the whole group was almost lost when they fell through on their first attempt at ice fishing.

So then they tried Detroit. Refer back to Chicago but amp it up times two..."

Now THAT is really funny!

You guys are BAD!

You guys are BAD!

I guess its safe to assume you don't live anywhere near Chicago.

quote BnD: "I guess its safe to assume you don't live anywhere near Chicago."

Check his profile.

I knew it wasn't a true story as soon as I saw it was about the Bears having a good quarterback. Funny stuff!