Good one Brad!

butthead

PS; My own plan is to throw my food bag at the bear. While it considers what to cook up I can sneak away! bh

WARNING!

Frequency of human-bear encounters is increasing!

Paddlers: please take extra precautions and wear noise making bells on clothing to give advance warning and avoid surprising the animals. We also suggest carrying pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

Be vigilant for fresh bear activity and be able to distinguish between Black bear and Grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces are smaller and contain lots of berries and squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear poop has bells in it and smells like pepper.

Northwoodsman: "WARNING!


Frequency of human-bear encounters is increasing!


Paddlers: please take extra precautions and wear noise making bells on clothing to give advance warning and avoid surprising the animals. We also suggest carrying pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.


Be vigilant for fresh bear activity and be able to distinguish between Black bear and Grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces are smaller and contain lots of berries and squirrel fur.


Grizzly bear poop has bells in it and smells like pepper."

LOL

Not worried, my fishing buddy uses a cane.

Savage Voyageur: "Not worried, my fishing buddy uses a cane.
"

And he’s thinking,” I’ve got a nice strong stick to beat off the bear and then it will chase my defenseless buddy.”

There was one guy we kept asking to come that was worried about bears. We told him we did not bring bear spray or guns. Just someone slower then we were.

He didn't come back

Funny thread!

My tactic is to paint all paddling partners with honey and then stick salmon to them.

The ultralight solution, from the lips of the protagonist, an otherwise accomplished outdoorsperson with a record book brown bear in his personal history.

He once took a Lower 48 visitor and the visitor’s kid across Cook Inlet from Anchorage on an overnight trip for king salmon. They caught two kings and foolishly thought that burying them in gravel would keep the fish safe overnight. Bear came, dug up fish, ate fish and commenced to circle the tent while growling. Their only available means of defense happened to be a folding knife clutched in the visitor’s quivering hand.

“Bobby! Bobby! What are we gonna do if the bear comes in the tent??!!!”

“We’re going to die if the bear comes in the tent.”

It did not. When Bobby and his guests cautiously exited the tent in the morning, they saw a bear pile that had been left alongside it. Message received.

Bacon scented bug repellent (for your buddies) - always a good option.

Love the hilarious responses .

When bears come...

When I lived in Alaska I carried my dad’s WW2 bayonet for bear protection. I’m sure the bears saw that and ran for their life.

jhb8426: "

When bears come... "

Hilarious

Thanks. Made me laugh. I remember that old salmon commercial too. good ones..

THis thread makes me think of a story I was reading about a fella (might have been Heimo Korth) from WI who moved to Alaska to homestead/trap/hunt. He was new on the scene and told an old timer that he'd picked up a .357 revolver to carry for bear protection. The old timer asked him, "Did you file the front sights off the gun yet?"

Young fella said "No, why the hell would I do that?".

Old timer says "So when the bear shoves it up your ass it don't hurt quite so bad."

(Point being, a .357 handgun might be too marginal a caliber for bear protection, especially grizzly's)

Handguns are very effective against bears.


Handguns and bear defense.

carbon1: "Handguns are very effective against bears.



Handguns and bear defense. "

Finally some actual data on this. I would wager that the cases where handguns were not effective was in the cases where untrained shooters were involved, or the shooter was too frightened to shoot straight.

I would also doubt that bear spray has anywhere near a 97% success rate.

That being said, we teach our groups a four staged approach. Bear comes into camp: Everyone gathers together and yells; everyone starts banging pots and making noise with what is available; if the bear continues to approach we use the bear spray; If the bear is aggressive past all of these we have men in each camp trained to use firearms and all are carrying 357 magnums or larger.

I will not return home to tell a wife or child that their husband/father is injured or killed because I didn't use every defense available.

Our 8 yr old loves to repeat this a saying:

“If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s white, say goodnight!”

Good stuff!

Of all my nights in the woods over the decades. And there have been many of both, I have never feared or worried about bear encounters, I do fear falling and breaking my leg, heart attack, lost, drowned, sickened. And statistically all of those far outnumber a bear problem
However, people overlook all off the common catastrophies for a rare and very uncommon bear issue.

If people wrote about all the open wounds, capsizes, beaver fever, burns, heat stroke and so on, bear problem stories would hardly come up.
Tom

jhb8426: "

When bears come... "

And does this…I just thought this was funny.

Fritty

This is hilarious since my kid does BJJ.

tumblehome: "Good stuff!


Of all my nights in the woods over the decades. And there have been many of both, I have never feared or worried about bear encounters, I do fear falling and breaking my leg, heart attack, lost, drowned, sickened. And statistically all of those far outnumber a bear problem
However, people overlook all off the common catastrophies for a rare and very uncommon bear issue.


If people wrote about all the open wounds, capsizes, beaver fever, burns, heat stroke and so on, bear problem stories would hardly come up.
Tom"

I almost was taken out by a Bull Moose near Surber Lake, so no I’m not worried about black bears at all.

To repel bears, I bring along an air-horn-in-a-can. Been camping on and off in the BWCA since 1972 and have yet to see a bear, so apparently it must work.

tumblehome: "Good stuff!


Of all my nights in the woods over the decades. And there have been many of both, I have never feared or worried about bear encounters, I do fear falling and breaking my leg, heart attack, lost, drowned, sickened. And statistically all of those far outnumber a bear problem
However, people overlook all off the common catastrophies for a rare and very uncommon bear issue.


If people wrote about all the open wounds, capsizes, beaver fever, burns, heat stroke and so on, bear problem stories would hardly come up.
Tom"

So true! The Walmart parking lot is a lot scarier than a bear in the BW.

merlyn: " So true! The Walmart parking lot is a lot scarier than a bear in the BW."

Yeah, Walmart people shoot each other! Walmart shooting

This one made me smile! bear meets self

MReid: "

merlyn: " So true! The Walmart parking lot is a lot scarier than a bear in the BW."

Yeah, Walmart people shoot each other! Walmart shooting "

Way too funny!!

Was it Hilary Clinton or Peter Strzok of the FBI that made the comment about Walmart and smelling Trump voters??

Are the Twin Cities shootings mostly at Walmart's?

s/

Maiingan: "

MReid: "

merlyn: " So true! The Walmart parking lot is a lot scarier than a bear in the BW."

Yeah, Walmart people shoot each other! Walmart shooting "

Way too funny!!


Was it Hilary Clinton or Peter Strzok of the FBI that made the comment about Walmart and smelling Trump voters??


Are the Twin Cities shootings mostly at Walmart's?

s/"

Are you joking ?

How does a semi-humorous meme devolve into this? C'mon folks...