I woke to learn that it had rained again. Since it wasn’t raining in the morning, I wanted to dry things as best I could in a reasonable amount of time. I still had about 5 hours before reaching the cabin and about 4 hours of driving.

After breakfast and about 10 minutes of paddling, the day started with a 209 rod portage. The dog had it down well. There was another party of 6 people and 2 canoes. They were nice folks and we chatted briefly. I dropped first load at west end, made the second trip, and the other folks had moved on.

The west end was empty. I was surprised to be alone at that spot. This exact portage was the last spot to which Mara and I had canoed before we had to turn around because of her pain. Her ashes were spread in this river at her request.

I sat for a while in the sun. I took a picture of the solo exactly in the spot where she and I last took a photo together by the tandem. I wasn’t afraid to remember her fondly.

I was OK. I have done my imperfect best for her and our boys, and continue to do so. No apologies to anyone were in order for my approach. I also unconditionally gave myself permission to live life free of any guilt.

After this time of deep thought I saw the pup ready to canoe again, I knew I had some paddling and portaging left today and a long drive after that. It was time to go.

A 10-12 mph wind made the paddle in a challenge. I was tired when I got in, but very satisfied with the trip.

I know that next time my load won’t be as heavy.