Sunday, June 22, 2025 I planned on getting up early, but I'm too tired. Sometimes my ambition is stronger than my body. Plus, during the early morning, the wind picked up, and now I'm not sure if I'll be able to fish today. One of the main reasons for doing a solo trip is to "clear the mind" and enjoy the present. This trip is a mental struggle, as I'm haunted by the loss of my sister and the weight of being the only one to take care of my parents. Will I be able to do it? Will I be able to navigate the minutiae of taking care of my parents? What will happen when one of my parents dies? My mother says she doesn't want to go to a home, but what will she do if my father passes away first? What will happen to the farm? What will happen to all of their possessions? Being the third child out of four, I've gotten used to having my older siblings help lead the way. The wind has definitely picked up, with some strong gusts. Fishing has become nearly impossible and certainly not enjoyable. I can paddle in this, but fishing is another story. If I catch a fish, I have to put my paddle down, and then I start being blown across the lake. It's very difficult to land a fish solo. I decide I'll do a little exploring. I make my way up the peninsula and paddle along the shoreline until I get to the entrance of Manes Nord Creek and paddle up the creek. The forecast for the remainder of the day is calling for the potential of damaging storms. When it's too windy, you stay off the water. During thunderstorms, you are at the mercy of nature. I've had a few solo trips when thunderstorms have rolled in during the night. One night on Ramshead Lake, my tent sat under two large White Pines. Lightning was hitting the ground, and the wind was gusting severely. I decided I needed to get out and find another spot to hunker down until the storm passed. Thankfully, no trees fell, and no lightning struck any trees close to camp. By four, I'm ready to head back to camp. The wind has appeared to calm down, so I quickly get my purple Tail Dancer in the water. Right away, I get a strike, and five minutes later I've got a small laker. I head to shore to fry him up. After eating, I decide to troll my way back to camp. Just as I get to a deep section of the lake, the wind picks up again, along with the gusts and whitecaps. I decide that's enough and head right back to camp. It's been another hot day, so I decide to make a quick meal of Pad Thai and then cool off in the lake. Some trips I'm ready to leave when my exit day comes, and other trips, I've felt I could stay out for several more days, provided I have enough food. I've been on plenty of solo trips, and there have been times I'm ready to exit after only a few days. The start of this trip was no exception. I do solo trips to push myself mentally and physically. When I've pushed my body, it's easy to recognize and simply rest. When loneliness or other thoughts of worry enter my mind, it's nearly impossible to turn them off. The best thing to do is to stay busy—but eventually I have nowhere to go but to confront my negative thoughts. I spend the rest of the evening at camp, as it is still windy and very hot. Even with the heat, I get a fire going and watch the sun go down among the gathering storm clouds. At nearly 10:00 p.m., the mosquitoes have finally come out, and I make my way to the tent. During the night, I am awakened by the sound of thunder. The thunder is so loud that the ground is shaking. It barely rains for 20 minutes, but the lightning and thunder continue for another hour before I fall back to sleep.