You guys bring this up a lot, sometimes joking. But enough to make me think it's a real phenomenon... spousal objections to soloing.

I totally get the "you're not going without ME" point of view. But sounds like that's not always the root cause.

So what is?

- being left behind, and not wanting to be home alone?
- true worry for safety?
- not on board with that use of vacation time or funds?

Something else?

Just curious.

Somewhere between 1 and 2. My wife worries a lot.

Totally number 2!

My wife has never objected in an outright manner but her concerns for my safety have grown as I have aged. The problem is, I am starting to agree with her concerns: a 4,000 mile round- trip, driving alone, and a week in the BW, alone, is starting to concern me too. I'll be 65 when the next opportunity for a trip rolls around. I am starting to lean toward taking someone with me, preferably younger.

quote Jeriatric: "My wife has never objected in an outright manner but her concerns for my safety have grown as I have aged. The problem is, I am starting to agree with her concerns: a 4,000 mile round- trip, driving alone, and a week in the BW, alone, is starting to concern me too. I'll be 65 when the next opportunity for a trip rolls around. I am starting to lean toward taking someone with me, preferably younger."

Is it really that much more economical for you to drive than fly into mn for your trips? You could easily rent a canoe for $280 for a week, possibly less as many outfitters can be very understanding people. And flying 4000 miles is much safer than driving that many. I have no idea what vehicle rental may cost for a week, but, instead, you could always look for a trip partner on this site, someone who would be willing to either let you hitch a ride with them up to an ep or actually join them for a week. That would really help alleviate most of your safety concerns. Except for age, of course. Healthy living and exercise can help with that concern.

Your name doesn't exactly instill confidence....

#2 and 3. She truly worries about my safety yet she wants to be involved with our vacation time but just not to the BW.

I understand both but tell her I'd be miserable if I didn't go. I also didn't go in 2010 so we could take a nice vacation together of her choice. That goes a long way towards making points for an unobjectional 2011.

I will be using a SPOT this year for the first time to ease #2.

Safety issues. She worries about me. Sometimes I worry about me, too ...

quote BWPaddler: "- being left behind, and not wanting to be home alone?
- true worry for safety?
- not on board with that use of vacation time or funds?"

I have to chuckle. My wife must be a very different animal. When it comes to camping, etc, she WANTs to be left behind and for the most part she rather be home alone. I'm convinced I'm around primarily as the handyman. She's willing to give me a week off, but certainly not a month - too much work would pile up for me.

She might be a tad worried about my safety.

As far as vacation time and funds, she rather have me go to the BWCA because it is so cheap. She can then spend more on her vacations to NY or Chicago .... which, BTW, I am not allowed to go on.

Nope, I get no "spousal objections".

quote BWPaddler: "…So what is?
- being left behind, and not wanting to be home alone?
- true worry for safety?
- not on board with that use of vacation time or funds?

Something else? Just curious."

quote Bannock: "I have to chuckle. My wife must be a very different animal. When it comes to camping, etc, she WANTs to be left behind and for the most part she rather be home alone. I'm convinced I'm arround primarily as the handiman. She's willing to give me a week off, but cetainly not a month - too much work would pile up for me. She might be a tad worried about my safety. As far as vacation time and funds, she rather have me go to the BWCA because it is so cheap. She can then spend more on her vacations to NY or Chicago .... which, BTW, I am not allowed to go on.

Nope, I get no "spousal objections"."

Hmmm. I think I’m more in the Bannock camp.

My wife’s name for camping is spelled, “MARRIOTT”. As long as I ensure my wife gets something equal, she’s ok with my canoe trips. I’ll be in Quetico Marriott about 4 weeks this summer, while she’ll be in Arizona, Minnesota, and Virginia. We’re still madly in lust, but she did get me a SPOT this past year…I’m wondering if it’s so she would know when to call the life insurance company.

Then again, since we both work in the K-12 schools, she doesn’t want me to be off canoeing all summer. We’ve got two sons in college and a daughter half way through high school, so summer family commitments sometimes conflict with canoeing trips. And if I ever want some TLC, I know when to trip and when not to.

My wife will usually try to schedule her vacation so she can be home alone (or whoever she's with when I'm gone:)).

She is a worrier - it's a learned behavior - and she's not an outdoors woman, hence she imagines it full of wild and dangerous animals and nature to be a malevolent force targeting lone humans for extinction.

And then, of course, it's certainly not what she'd spend money and time on. I mean, I could be home remodeling the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen, which would be just about my least favorite activity.

quote BWPaddler: "I totally get the "you're not going without ME" point of view. But sounds like that's not always the root cause.

So what is?

- being left behind, and not wanting to be home alone?
- true worry for safety?
- not on board with that use of vacation time or funds?

Something else?"

Sounds like those are the three root causes of the objections. The other half either wants to come along, approves of the trip, or it's one of those three reasons... Interesting.

So do you ever feel that way about anything your spouse does? Is there anything he/she could do that WOULD make you not want to be left home, worry about safety, or disagree with vacation/budget allocations?

#2

My wife completely understands that my wilderness and fishing needs are much greater than hers. Coming home from our Ely resort trip in 2005, she mentioned that with tending to the kids and some poor weather, I hardly got any time to really fish. BOOM! Been taking a fall solo trip ever since with a few safety requirements imposed on me. I stick to more popular routes and carry an FRS radio and a cell phone.

JD

quote BWPaddler: "So do you ever feel that way about anything your spouse does? Is there anything he/she could do that WOULD make you not want to be left home, worry about safety, or disagree with vacation/budget allocations?"

My wife budgets like a 2 year old. She doesn't seem to get it, so yes, there are times when I disagree with her $$$ skills and there are things she does that make me nervous... especially after I pay the bills and she is unaware of the balance that is left for the next 2 weeks (she never asks or checks with the bank before spending the rest of our cash).

quote BearBrown: "

quote Jeriatric: "My wife has never objected in an outright manner but her concerns for my safety have grown as I have aged. The problem is, I am starting to agree with her concerns: a 4,000 mile round- trip, driving alone, and a week in the BW, alone, is starting to concern me too. I'll be 65 when the next opportunity for a trip rolls around. I am starting to lean toward taking someone with me, preferably younger."

Is it really that much more economical for you to drive than fly into mn for your trips? You could easily rent a canoe for $280 for a week, possibly less as many outfitters can be very understanding people. And flying 4000 miles is much safer than driving that many. I have no idea what vehicle rental may cost for a week, but, instead, you could always look for a trip partner on this site, someone who would be willing to either let you hitch a ride with them up to an ep or actually join them for a week. That would really help alleviate most of your safety concerns. Except for age, of course. Healthy living and exercise can help with that concern."

It is far less expensive to drive one's own car, especially if sharing gas and motel costs, or even camping along the way.

My first trip was a group trip. We flew and rented a car in Minneapolis/St Paul. The car rental cost more than twice as much as our individual flight tickets, nearly $600. Worse, the car just sat for an entire week while we were in the BW. Add on the cost for extra baggage and the canoe rental and you are talking big bucks to fly. Additionally, I love the drive. I make many side trips. There is a lot to see between California and the BW.

I prefer the idea of taking a younger friend for his first BW experience and splitting the travel costs while driving. I am working on my son this year.

#2 - Worried about if something were to happen and you were in the middle of B.F.E. no one around for days, etc. So....I rented a Sat Phone.

Now a funny side note. My BOSS was VERY concerned also, He said
"Would the Lakers let Koby Bryant just go off into the Wilderness for a Week in a canoe?"

I told him " Pay me what they pay Koby and I will stay home"

He also said he was coming with me and I told him he wasn't invited.

Sorry, just had to share as so many folks dont understand besides
Spouses.

SunCatcher

SC - that is hilarious!

quote SunCatcher: "#2 - Worried about if something were to happen and you were in the middle of B.F.E. no one around for days, etc. So....I rented a Sat Phone.

Now a funny side note. My BOSS was VERY concerned also, He said
"Would the Lakers let Koby Bryant just go off into the Wilderness for a Week in a canoe?"

I told him " Pay me what they pay Koby and I will stay home"

He also said he was coming with me and I told him he wasn't invited.

Sorry, just had to share as so many folks dont understand besides
Spouses.

SunCatcher"

that is too funny! I would have tried again with the raise, and told him that I'd settle for what they paid HIM, hahaha.

I went on solo trips prior to meeting my spouse, so it was understood (not all that well though) that it was something that I enjoyed to do. For Mrs. 612er, it's that she always wants to be included. What eventually transpired is that she went on her first solo trip. She loved it and now understands and wants to go on more solo trips.

#2 She worries about HER safety IF I DON'T GO! Kidding :)
She actually does worry about my safety when I go solo. I keep telling her that I'd much rather die out there, than at work. That doesn't seem to help. She doesn't worry when I'm with someone.

quote BWPaddler: "You guys bring this up a lot, sometimes joking. But enough to make me think it's a real phenomenon... spousal objections to soloing.

I totally get the "you're not going without ME" point of view. But sounds like that's not always the root cause.

So what is?

- being left behind, and not wanting to be home alone?
- true worry for safety?
- not on board with that use of vacation time or funds?

Something else?

Just curious."

Just to let you know. My wife has yet to ever object to getting rid of me up north. :-)

My wife has never objected to any of my trips, solo or otherwise, in the 36+ years we've been married. She can't do BW trips because of health issues. Like Jeriatrics wife, she becomes more concerned as I get older. (You're not as young as you used to be).

The last 2 years I rented a Spot from VNO and she felt much better about it. This year I bought one, as I do a lot of solo trips in Michigan and always go on early morning solo hikes in the Colorado National Monument when we visit the grand children. She doesn't worry about me, but is concerned for my safety.

My wife supports me on my solo trips. She says she want me to follow my dreams and would not stand in my way. I am very careful and do not take chances and she knows that so that makes it easier. I also carry a Spot or a satellite phone to keep in touch.

Dick

quote 612er: "I went on solo trips prior to meeting my spouse, so it was understood (not all that well though) that it was something that I enjoyed to do. For Mrs. 612er, it's that she always wants to be included. What eventually transpired is that she went on her first solo trip. She loved it and now understands and wants to go on more solo trips."

You guys could park at opposite ends of a trip. Meet in the middle and paddle out to the other vehicle. My son and I might do that sometime. As for me there is no Mrs Nctry... Been there done that. It would take a special someone to let me go on my trips alone or with someone else for that matter. I used to come home to a drunk Mrs Nctry only to be asked why I'm home so early. I have kids, so that ended that pretty fast.

When I choose to spend a week of anything, over a week with her, she feels injured. We had the vacation time budgeting issue but we keep it in balance; I get a canoe trips, and she gets trips to Guatemala, usually at the same time so she is not home alone. She has never once raised the issue of safety, which makes me feel injured :(

More importantly, she can't relate to why I need to go. She is just beginning to understand that stifling my adventuresome spirit will only create severe marital problems when I start having "urban adventures" close to home.

Overall, we are making good progress.

quote nctry: "

quote 612er: "I went on solo trips prior to meeting my spouse, so it was understood (not all that well though) that it was something that I enjoyed to do. For Mrs. 612er, it's that she always wants to be included. What eventually transpired is that she went on her first solo trip. She loved it and now understands and wants to go on more solo trips."

You guys could park at opposite ends of a trip. Meet in the middle and paddle out to the other vehicle. My son and I might do that sometime. "

That's actually a pretty cool idea. It would be a clever method of pulling off a one-way trip without the whole shuttle mess. My wife isn't into solo tripping, she's more of a base camper, I don't see that changing.

I think I might be a bit more concerned about my own safety than my spouse. LOL.

my girlfriend and parents were pretty uneasy about the idea of me solo tripping when i brought it up a couple years ago. totally #2. i am diabetic and that adds to their concern. when i finally got it cleared (i pretty much said i'm going period) i did a couple overnights closer to town as practice runs. my first BWCA solo trip was planned to be 2 nights but wound up coming out the second day-partly weather, partly heebie jeebies, partly drank all the jim beam the first night got sick and worried that without the beam the heebie jeebies would be even worse;) i have since done a few 3 days/2 nighters including a couple over ice treks this winter. i think that the short trips are inspiring confidence and i hope to be able to negotiate some longer trips. i am lucky to live in the twin cities so these short trips aren't too impractical.

tg

My wife has never objected to any of my trips either.She said she doesn't worry in the least, and knows I can handle myself in the woods.
To quote her, "It's ok with me, just as long as you don't make me come along."