BWCA Trip Report - Angleworm Overnighter Boundary Waters Trip Reports
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07/20/2010 08:40PM   (Thread Older Than 3 Years)
New Trip Report posted by Corndog

Trip Name: Angleworm Overnighter.

Entry Point: 20

Click Here to View Trip Report
 
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kanoes
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07/20/2010 08:45PM  
i truely am at a loss for words.
07/20/2010 09:20PM  
quote kanoes: "i truely am at a loss for words."
Me too!
Canardly
member (40)member
 
07/21/2010 01:22AM  
I'm also a bit amazed. I wonder how many trips into the BWCA are pretty much exactly like this one but we don't hear about them?
uigreyjay
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07/21/2010 05:52AM  
i need pictures for proof of this outdoor tale:)
good read.
snakecharmer
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07/21/2010 06:48AM  
Interesting trip report :)
07/21/2010 07:47AM  
quote kanoes: "i truely am at a loss for words."
07/21/2010 07:52AM  
Wow! Never read a report like this.

Corndog, are you aware that, back in the woods, there is a pit toilet? Makes the situation a lot easier than the cat-hole scenario you described so graphically for us. As a formerly plus-size person myself (and still a bit on the plus-size yet), I can appreciate the problem, so I do realize that using the latrine is a much better option when available for people of your girth. You might want to try that next time. ;-)

07/21/2010 11:01AM  
quote uigreyjay: "i need pictures for proof of this outdoor tale :)"

Ditto here. I'm also curious about how the canoe got back. Did the outfitter retrieve it?
07/21/2010 05:10PM  
Either this is made up or very disturbing. I recommend that you trip with Pee Wee Herman next time.
07/21/2010 07:07PM  
I admire your courage and don't mind the details as someone may benefit from it. You could put a disclaimer on the message board post that the report contains blunt content to help those who have a higher sensitivity.

If you have trouble with using the latrine in the bwca you might want to pack disposable gloves, baby wipes and freezer type zip top bags. Also, if the latrine happens to become soiled, you will want to do an outstanding job of cleaning it for the next tripper. After it is spotless, use bleach to sanitize. Pack out wipes and gloves in the zip top bags.

Good luck on your next trip.
07/21/2010 10:33PM  
Wow.
Boppa
07/22/2010 11:47AM  
I searched in vain for the pit toilet but mother-nature had a grip on my bowels and was squeezing with all her might!
07/22/2010 11:48AM  
THe outfitter came and picked up the canoe, it was well worth the cost.....
07/22/2010 11:50AM  
Thanks for the tips, I will add these items to my next trip.
07/22/2010 11:51AM  
I will also add a camera to my list of things to take with me.
SevenofNine
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07/22/2010 12:10PM  
I applaud you for making the effort to hike to Angleworm. It is indeed a long haul. Keep up the effort, don't mind the set backs and keep pushing on.

keegan99usa
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07/22/2010 12:23PM  
I, for one, Say "Way to go!"

Not many people anywhere would go through what you did, most would give up without making the hike! I look forward to future Trip reports from you! You should write a book, comedy is your thing!
Well Done!
Keegan
07/22/2010 01:00PM  
Disclaimer posted: Read at your own peril!
AZPADLR
member (8)member
 
07/22/2010 06:53PM  
Look out Patrick McManus your replacement has arrived. Great report, I really enjoyed reading it.
07/23/2010 09:06AM  
Angleworm was a tough walk in halfway decent shape, I cant imagine doing it with another 90 pounds of fat on my body. If this report is real, I commend you!
07/23/2010 10:49AM  
quote Corndog: "I will also add a camera to my list of things to take with me."

Could you at least post a picture of yourself in your profile? It could dispel some of the doubt about your story.
07/23/2010 11:22AM  
I will have my son snap a picture when he comes to visit. In the meantime this is my persona

07/23/2010 11:26AM  
Call Wilderness Outfitters in Ely, they can verify my story and provide details on my girth.
mr.barley
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07/23/2010 05:26PM  
Pull the other one.
07/23/2010 07:54PM  
Pull the other what?
sloughman
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07/24/2010 04:26PM  
Wow. A very honest trip report, albeit scatological. One of the first things I do before even setting up the tent is finding the latrine.
Very commendable to take a solo for your first trip. Given what you say about your shape, I think you'd enjoy a trip with short portages better, but my hat's off to you for tackling Angleworm.
07/24/2010 05:35PM  
Please give me some advice on where to go for a solo with less portages or easier portages. I am open to all suggestions. Though I had many challenges on this trip, I will admit my confidence level went up, and the trip gave me more incentive to lose weight and get in better shape.

If you have never been on a solo, or if you can remember back to your first solo, it is really scary. The solitude and isolation is something that stuck with me. I was most afraid of getting hurt and then being stuck out there.
ultralight
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07/24/2010 06:58PM  
After reading this report, I have come to the conclusion Kanoes is really on to something with the First Need water purifier.
07/24/2010 10:39PM  
quote Corndog: "Please give me some advice on where to go for a solo with less portages or easier portages. I am open to all suggestions."

You could use a roulette wheel to find an easier entry point. :-)
07/25/2010 06:40AM  
Thanks, Koda, for coming up with a pithy comment. I was trying to think of a way to say just that. It is hard for me to understand how you could have been working with an outfitter, planning your first BWCA trip, presenting the physical condition that you say you exhibit, and still they would encourage you to pick such a challenging entry point for your solo. Almost any other entry point you could have chosen would have given you an easier introduction to BWCA canoeing and camping, while still providing you with a satisfying experience.

Get out some maps, get the books by Beymer and read about routes and portages. Get to gym and perhaps try Weight Watchers. And by all means, try another trip next year. Good luck!
07/25/2010 09:54AM  
quote mr.barley: "Pull the other one."

Spartan2, do you spose Mr B was referring to our legs? As in, someone is pulling them?
07/25/2010 10:39AM  
Yes, I have wondered about that from the very beginning. This was all too wild to be real, eh?

Got more interest stirred up than MY trip report. LOL!
bapabear
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07/25/2010 11:21AM  
Quoting Corndog: "There is one more challenge, that every XXXL camper needs to know: find the pit latrine before you need it in an emergency."

Great advice for campers of every size and bowel distemperment!

I'd rate your report a #2!
07/25/2010 12:07PM  
quote bapabear: "Quoting Corndog: "There is one more challenge, that every XXXL camper needs to know: find the pit latrine before you need it in an emergency."

Great advice for campers of every size and bowel distemperment!

I'd rate your report a #2! "


LOL!!!
07/25/2010 12:45PM  
LMAO
SunCatcher
tremolo
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07/25/2010 03:45PM  
07/25/2010 03:45PM  
The outfitter tried in vain to discourage this long portage, but after I hired Caleb it seemed more feasible. Any hoot, The thing to remember is I tried.

I had been to the outfitter two weeks earlier for a day trip to the angleworm and hiked without gear except water, some snacks and 3 rolls of emergency toilet paper all the way to the portage site (you never know what will happen be prepared). So I knew the distance, the terrain and the challenges. (I still have those 3 rolls of emergency toilet paper btw -;)'

The reason Angleworm was choosen was because it was the hardest, like I always say. Go big or don't go. The thing I was not prepared for was being alone and scared. This is what I need to conquer, I need to tell myself I can survive and I will find the latrine!

Gym membership: Check....
Books: check....
Maps: check....
Weightwatchers: No way in hell. but I will eat better and watch my diet. Next time I will be more prepared.. :)

This is a true story, no leg pulling here.
07/25/2010 04:00PM  
Sometimes, the things that scare us are the things that drive us to loneliness and isolation. don't be afraid of critism or compliments, it's an opportunity to learn.

I've learned alot, thanks all.
homerun23
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07/25/2010 11:17PM  
WOW! No sure there is much more to say here.....
The Great Outdoors
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07/26/2010 09:27AM  
I talked to one of the Wilderness Outfitter guides this morning, and he verified the story!!
07/26/2010 09:43AM  
Thanks, TGO. My faith in mankind is restored.
*whew*
07/26/2010 11:23AM  
Thank you The Great Outdoors, I am glad you took the time to verify my story, it is one that needs to be repeated around the campfire. It is also one you can use to encourage your large friends to enjoy the outdoors and to experience the BWCA. The Boundary waters has many challenges, but being overweight and out of shape should not keep you from enjoying the beauty offered in the wilderness. Someday I will be in shape, but you might always be ugly.
jamotrade
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07/26/2010 01:37PM  
Wow! Awesome!
07/26/2010 02:58PM  
quote Corndog: "Thank you The Great Outdoors, I am glad you took the time to verify my story, it is one that needs to be repeated around the campfire. It is also one you can use to encourage your large friends to enjoy the outdoors and to experience the BWCA. The Boundary waters has many challenges, but being overweight and out of shape should not keep you from enjoying the beauty offered in the wilderness. Someday I will be in shape, but you will always be ugly."

Corndog, there is much to be said for your pluck, and in general I would agree that being a bit heavy and out of shape shouldn't be too much of a deterrent. However, as I'm sure you know, with weight and poor condition comes the added risk of a number of health issues. I would certainly encourage people to take reasonable risks, but that doesn't include a heart attack, diabetic incident, or broken bone.
07/26/2010 03:15PM  
No kidding, your health is important and getting in shape before you do things like I did make sense. However, a friend of mine lost her husband last year. He was my age, in better shape, and was in what I thought was excellent health. He died of a heart attack after shoveling snow. That shook me to my core.

I have a list of things I have never done, that I plan on doing someday before I die. I bet he, and you, the reader have a list. My list consists of things like climbing a mountain, paddling the BWCA, and taking out a sea kayak (among other things).

My friend's husband died never completing his list, don't you die without completing yours. I will complete mine, and getting in shape along the way assures me of one thing. I will do all on my list, or I will die chasing my dreams, not shoveling the snow dreaming about doing it.
Pstar
Guest Paddler
 
07/26/2010 04:22PM  
Whew!

When the tale took the turn of a heavy guy running around the woods naked I feared a re-making of Deliverance with Ned Beatty.
07/26/2010 07:05PM  
Oh my, that is scary... banjos playing in the background :(
BLee
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07/26/2010 09:38PM  
Good Job Corn Dog!

I must admit after reading your trip report I had to wonder what the heck you were doing there. But after explaining your reasoning I commend you for your effort.

The only thing to remember is that other people use these campsites.
kanoes
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07/26/2010 09:51PM  
youre all actually buying this. p.t. barnum comes to mind.
07/26/2010 10:56PM  
quote kanoes: "youre all actually buying this. p.t. barnum comes to mind."

I shared your skepticism until TGO said he verified the story. But it's still hard to quiet my sense of disbelief.
07/27/2010 04:17AM  
Maybe it is TGO we need to be suspicious of?? ;-) Has HE ever been known to pull someone's leg??
tremolo
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07/27/2010 07:26AM  
The man behind the curtain already left one obvious clue.
07/27/2010 10:24AM  
So many skeptics! I propose a group canoe trip! I will make myself available for public display as we explore the wilderness together.

As a disclaimer, you will find no evidence of my cathole, it was dug at least 1 foot down and 1 foot across. It was dug northeast of the campsite 150 yards away, deep into the woods. The ground there was soft and easy digging. I never did find that potty lucky for me only 1 number 2 in 24.

TGO is a reliable source and I commend him for his investgative skills and ability to ferret out the truth, no matter how messy it is. How did you find that cathole?

As I said before, this tale will be told around many campfires and thought of every time you take a duce in the woods.

But remember the message is, don't sit on your can! Go out there and do it, don't wait for the perfect level of fitness, it is a goal never reached.
Buster
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07/27/2010 02:08PM  
Nicely done Corndog !!
07/27/2010 03:43PM  
Thank you for sharing...
07/27/2010 04:04PM  
quote tremolo: "The man behind the curtain already left one obvious clue. "

You may be more perceptive than the rest of us. Care to point us in the general direction?
07/27/2010 05:26PM  
Tremolo, that is the best response I've seen so far....

Koda, the direction is North, then portage, and head North some more.

Hee Hee
CaptChad
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07/27/2010 10:53PM  
Holy Handywipes Batman! Keep on, keepin on Corndog! I admire you and you are my new hero!
07/27/2010 11:22PM  
quote Corndog: "I will also add a camera to my list of things to take with me."


After reading this report, one has to wonder what you would be taking pictures of.
It was interesting though.
07/28/2010 07:24AM  
Pictures! The images should be burned into your memory by now. Enjoy this story around the dinner table, campfire and water cooler. However, it is best told after several drinks with your buddies.

Your Hero! I'm honored. I will buy a cape and mask, I hope they make plus sizes, I might have to go to the Mall of America (MOA) in Minneapolis (fattest city in the USA) to find some tights that are large enough. I hear the food court there is a good place to see large tights. I'll ask around for some ideas on where to purchase a XXXL hero's outfit.

On a positive note: Happily, I lost 1.5lbs so far this week, I hope to break 300 by Nov 3rd, I turn 50 then, and I'm hoping wiping gets easier at that weight. My arms won't seem so short then.

Thanks again for your kind words and support!! ;}'
snakecharmer
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07/28/2010 08:02AM  
This one is sure to go down in the annals of trip reporting history :) Truly legendary!
07/28/2010 11:41AM  
quote Corndog: "Tremolo, that is the best response I've seen so far....

Koda, the direction is North, then portage, and head North some more.

Hee Hee"


Corndog, I'm glad you're taking this skepticism in good humor. You have to admit your story is somewhat, um, unlikely. If you really did it, I applaud your initiative and confidence. If you didn't, I applaud your imagination and consistency. Either way it's all good.
Cedarboy
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07/28/2010 01:01PM  
Nice story TGO
07/28/2010 01:55PM  
Wait,
All of a sudden I get the feeling you all believe that TGO is really the man behind this story (ha ha I said behind). Well he isn't this is a true story.

Again I ask you skeptics to call Wilderness Outfitters in Ely, they will confirm all the dirty details. Well most of the dirty details...

I think we need to send Koda on a road trip to the Angleworm to sniff out the truth on this one. He is a reliable source of information and well respected in the community of BWCA campers.

Unless he and TGO are in this together.... hmmmm, this is how legends are made.

I do admit this story is bizarre, but that is what makes it worth telling.
07/28/2010 03:52PM  
I don't know whether this report is completely credible, but it made me laugh - so it doesnt really matter. Please write about your next adventure, but maybe leave out the gastroenterology chapter.
johnpfeffer
member (42)member
 
07/28/2010 04:33PM  
Ok, now that Im done blowing soda all over my monitor and keyboard, I can respond to that trip report.Wait...I got nothing!! LMFAO! Awesome and props to you for the effort! I think I can almost breathe again after hyperventalating to the point of gasping for a breath.
07/28/2010 04:56PM  
Gee more kind words... when will all end.

When I'm feeling blue, I open up my trip report and still laugh myself to tears. It was the best of times it was the worst of times, but that's not my quote, its my life!

This report is best read while drinking beer, send to all your friends, they will appreciate the spam, ummmm spam, I'm hungry see you all later.

07/28/2010 05:40PM  
quote Corndog: "Wait,
All of a sudden I get the feeling you all believe that TGO is really the man behind this story (ha ha I said behind). Well he isn't this is a true story.

Again I ask you skeptics to call Wilderness Outfitters in Ely, they will confirm all the dirty details. Well most of the dirty details...

I think we need to send Koda on a road trip to the Angleworm to sniff out the truth on this one. He is a reliable source of information and well respected in the community of BWCA campers.

Unless he and TGO are in this together.... hmmmm, this is how legends are made.

I do admit this story is bizarre, but that is what makes it worth telling."


Oh, shoot. TGO, next time we have to cover our tracks better.
07/29/2010 05:16AM  
Hee Hee,
Koda! don't admit to anything. "Plausible deniability!" Just say, "I don't know TGO." Or, "He was such a nice man, how could I have known what he was up too."

Seriously, This happened and I know this shocks all your senses, and gives some of you nightmares, but it happened.

This is only adding to the mystery, the legend, and suspense! This is a true story! No matter how many times we joke about it or point soiled fingers at each other, it is TRUE.

Many lesssons in this story, I call it Leadership Challenge #13 (#2 was already taken, broken canoe). What would you do?

We need some one to develope answers A - D.

gbusk
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07/29/2010 11:00AM  
quote Corndog: "Hee Hee,
Koda! don't admit to anything. "Plausible deniability!" Just say, "I don't know TGO." Or, "He was such a nice man, how could I have known what he was up too."


Seriously, This happened and I know this shooks all your senses, and gives some of you nightmares, but it happened.


This is only adding to the mystery, the legend, and suspense! This is a true story! No matter how many times we joke about it or point soiled fingers at each other, it is TRUE.


Many lesssons in this story, I call it Leadership Challenge #13 (#2 was already taken, broken canoe). What would you do?


We need some one to develope answers A - D.


"


Very funny trip report. Weather it's fact, fiction, or embellishment, I was laughing a loud several times.

So here's what I say, Corndog you can put all of the skepticism to rest on Sept 11th. All you have o do is show up at the Fall WIng Night. Watch the listening point forum for details to follow mid Aug.
07/29/2010 11:55AM  
I am there. As I said I will bring my petite Japenese Wife that makes killer Teriyaki wings! Enough for 50 people right? I live real close to the Park and look forward to meeting you all. By then my waistline should be smaller, I have been working really hard on that!

But what about the Leadership Challenge #13 what do you do?

There aught to be a prize for the best trip report of the month, the year and the century....

07/29/2010 01:27PM  
quote Corndog: "There aught to be a prize for the best trip report of the month, the year and the century...."

There IS a prize for the best trip report of the month. I do not know exactly what the criteria are....the moderators pick a winner....but I did win last year for August. Good luck to you, and I look forward to meeting you at the wing fling in September! Though please pardon me if I do not shake your hand. ;-)
The Great Outdoors
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07/29/2010 01:59PM  
corndog, you write: "Again I ask you skeptics to call Wilderness Outfitters in Ely, they will confirm all the dirty details. Well most of the dirty details..."

I did check with one Wilderness Outfitter guide, he basically confirmed your story, and now I'm getting accused of being in on this thing. What the Hell's going on here??
Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!!
07/29/2010 02:16PM  
TGO, Don't let the haters get to you! I know you are not "The man behind the curtain." Wasn't it other BWCA members that first cast dispersions about your leg pulling? Say it isn’t so!

Koda comes to mind.... Spartan2.... Cedarboy.... maybe even Kanoes.... Izzy or hmmmmm maybe even Tremolo. These might all be suspects. No wait!!! I will call the outfitter and ask about Caleb the guide!

The story is true! I called Wilderness Outfitters in Ely this afternoon and confirmed TGO's story of calling to confirm the Angleworm Trip story. According to the nice lady on the other end of the line, TGO did call and so did other people! I quote her, "We have had several calls, giggle."

What more proof do they need? Maybe a smoking gun! I challenge the skeptics to hike to the angleworm campsite and sniff out the truth!

Sip your hatorade and bask in your skepticism, the truth is a 325lb man of limited stature (5’7”) that was almost as round as he was tall, (used my belt to get that fact) braved the wilderness, overcame the odds and left his mark in the anals of BWCA lore.
07/29/2010 04:00PM  
Wilderness Outfitter's is helping me with another shot at the BWCA, this time Trout Lake Motor - Entry Point 1 - Aug 1st Sunday- Tuesday, I have room if anyone would like to tag along and become part of the legend. Or maybe, you just want a glimpse of what all the fuss is about. E-Mail me if you would like to do breakfast in Ely before I go into the wilderness.

I will post my trip for your viewing enjoyment later that week.

Hmm, where should I go for breakfast.........
07/29/2010 04:19PM  
quote The Great Outdoors: "corndog, you write: "Again I ask you skeptics to call Wilderness Outfitters in Ely, they will confirm all the dirty details. Well most of the dirty details..."

I did check with one Wilderness Outfitter guide, he basically confirmed your story, and now I'm getting accused of being in on this thing. What the Hell's going on here??
Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!!"


TGO, are you serious?
This thread may be the most fun I've had online. I don't care if it's a hoax or not, it's been a load of laughs, between the unlikeliness of the story and the oddball commentary.

One thing y'all may not know - if you post here under one name and then try to post under another name from the same computer, your second post will be kicked back. Look at the dates and you'll see that Corndog, TGO, and I are all different (that is, if each of us is posting from the same location). The most likely exonerates you, TGO, so relax and have a chuckle.

Corndog, my hat's off to you for posting the trip report and for having such a great sense of humor. I look forward to shaking your hand at the Fall Wing Night - though I'll be careful not to get trapped in your oversized paw. :-)
07/29/2010 04:30PM  
Okay three suspects are cleared, what about the rest of you?

Fess up! I know it's true, but is there some sort of conspiracy going on here. "Thou protest too much."

Breakfast on me in Ely. Sunday 1 Aug 6:30 AM need a place any suggestions?
SevenofNine
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07/29/2010 04:54PM  
quote Corndog: "Wilderness Outfitter's is helping me with another shot at the BWCA, this time Entry Point 1 - Monday Aug 2nd thru Wednesday, I have room if you would like to tag along and become part of the legend. Or maybe, you just want a glimpse of what all the fuss is about. E-Mail me if you would like to do breakfast in Ely before I go into the wilderness.


I will post my trip for your viewing enjoyment later that week.

Hmm, where should I go for breakfast........."


Dang it Corndog, if only you planned a trip Labor day weekend. I would alter mine just to meet and travel with you a ways!

Best of luck and "WEAR YOUR LIFE JACKET" Or at least throw a tractor tire around your mid section :-)
07/29/2010 05:15PM  
quote SevenofNine:

Dang it Corndog, if only you planned a trip Labor day weekend. I would alter mine just to meet and travel with you a ways!


Best of luck and "WEAR YOUR LIFE JACKET" Or at least throw a tractor tire around your mid section :-)"


I could squeeze into a tractor tire with lots of crisco and a butter knife, but I wouldn't be strong enough to carry that around.

Any hoot....it is impossible for a fat guy like me to sink, I might as well be swimming in a Salt lake. I am so bouyant I can't swim to the bottom of a pool. Picture a bobber, do you realize how much weight it takes to sink one of those. Well I am Exponentially more bouyant. You could use me as a life perserver. "Quick, throw me a fat guy I'm drowning."

Darn, I can't change my plans but I might be able to add to them. I need permission from my wife, she is currently visiting her mom in Okinawa and will not return until Aug 10th, so I'll ask her then. Stay in touch, A labor day trip sounds fun, do you have a permit and for where?
g-berg
Guest Paddler
 
07/29/2010 07:27PM  
I happen to know Caleb
his Grandad was a guide at sioux look out.
must be in the blood - good job Caleb
07/29/2010 09:08PM  
You can leave me out of this discussion. I lost interest a long time ago.
07/29/2010 09:44PM  
Okay, Spartan2 gets a hall pass, he has other business to attend too.

I recently added this part to my trip report. My mind is clearer now on some more details that needed reporting.

Prologue:

Every Story has a hero and I am not the guy! The real hero of this story was briefly mentioned the professional guide. His name is Caleb, a young, lean and mean portage machine.

With A 44lb canoe, paddle and chair, Caleb moved like the wind along the portage scaling over trees that blocked the trail, sloshing through the deep mud that sucked at the man-sized boots while battling the skeeters and black flies. Deet sticks to him, he doesn't even sweat. He didn't breath through his mouth! Besides if he did, I bet he swallowed those skeeters and black flies like some sort of BWCA trail mix. But his true act of professionalism was yet to come.

After he passed me on trail, (at what looked like a dead run, (compared to my slothy trail crawl), he dropped his hat at the 3-way intersection of the Angleworm, to blaze a trail for me. Little did he know I had been on this same trail 10 days earlier, scouting the portage and I already knew the way. Yet, his good deeds did not stop there. At the protage site, he sat and visited with me as I caught my breath, I believe he was taking my vital signs.

He then shared with me several guide secrets of the Northland, which I cannot repeat here, and gave me an extra citronela candle, as if to say, "Go into the wilderness and find your spirit animal." Those weren't his words, but I could read his mind, (I was dizzy, and I can read minds when I am dizzy or drunk).

At the end of my journey, he ventured back into the wilderness and retrieved the gear, and for that I thank him sincerely.

So Ode to Caleb, Guide extraordinaire, for without him I would have never been able to complete my journey. Let us sing his praise around the campfires of the boundary waters and name our future sons in his honor.
07/29/2010 10:44PM  
Corndog, Spartan2 is a girl. :-)

(I'm gonna hear about that ....)
07/30/2010 06:09AM  
quote Koda: "Corndog, Spartan2 is a girl. :-)

(I'm gonna hear about that ....)"


Oops, Sorry Spartan2, so maybe there is a Spartan1 out there.

Any hoot:

There will still some skeptics. However, I swear on all that is holy that this is a true story. Cross my heart and hope to die. (well not die, but get sick, not too sick, but just a litttle woosy that quickly passes, oO
07/30/2010 08:56AM  
Corndog, I truly love this line: "I bet he swallowed those skeeters and black flys like some sort of BWCA trail mix."

Change flys to flies and it's one of the best bwca.com lines I've ever read. ;-) (sorry for correcting you...it's a problem I have...anyone need a copyeditor?)

It's the new GORP! GOBFS: Good ol' black flies and skeeters. Less pronouncable, and certainly less delectable.
07/30/2010 09:41AM  
YES, there is a Spartan1.
07/30/2010 11:40AM  
quote nojobro: It's the new GORP! GOBFS: Good ol' black flies and skeeters. Less pronouncable, and certainly less delectable."

Bravo, I love the GOBFS line, I should plagarize it into my own story. I'll let you proof read my next book. (first book, coloring books don't count.)

My true goal for this report is for it to hit 100 comments this month! I hope it sets a new record. Only 1 more day to go. Hit it hard with pithy comments, but no bloviating.

My new trip starts on the 1st of August. Hmmm.... I wonder what adventures await me?

Spartan1 have a hall passs too?
07/30/2010 11:54AM  
No bloviating? I thought that's what's been going on here for the last 60+ comments :P
07/30/2010 03:12PM  
Oh my! Sir, I find nothing pompous in the discourse. Instead, I find a refined sense of self-discovery, that reflects my champaign taste (on a beer budget).

Yet, there is something satifying in reading the dribble, as I chew on my pipe and sip cognac from the comfort of my Italian leather armchair. Dreaming of my next chance to bare it all in the wild.

Just Joking. I think you are on to something..... hmmm....I will reflect on my choice of words.... Bloviate away!

We are almost to the finish line and a new report will be out in a week: "Trout Lake EP1 Return of the Jedi"
07/30/2010 05:11PM  
quote Corndog: "We are almost to the finish line and a new report will be out in a week: "Trout Lake EP1 Return of the Jedi""

Written, perhaps, from the perspective of Jabba the Hutt? :-)
bojibob
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07/30/2010 06:39PM  


First came....."Larry the Cable Guy".

Now we have "Corndog the Canoe Guy".

I'm loving every minute of this :-)
07/30/2010 07:02PM  
I like the Star Wars reference, you are already piecing my next storyline together Obi Wan.

By the way, I added some parts to my original trip report, my memory is now clear and I encourage you to go back and read it with the new additions.

The second and third read is best done while drinking beer. Just don't spew on the keyboard. The new details may make you ill.
gbusk
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07/31/2010 11:51PM  
quote Spartan1: "YES, there is a Spartan1."

I thought you lost interest a long time ago? :)
08/01/2010 07:38AM  
She did. There are two of us, 1 and 2. She posts more than I do.
gbusk
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08/01/2010 02:36PM  
quote Spartan1: "She did. There are two of us, 1 and 2. She posts more than I do."

Well I tell you what, it would be great to meet both of you at WIng Night Sept 11. Info to follow.
08/01/2010 11:05PM  
We live in central Michigan and as nice as it would be to meet everyone at wing night, we will not be traveling that distance.
08/01/2010 11:33PM  
Wait: A news bulletin.

TGO may be the person calling himself Corndog. Apparently TGO told someone, that he heard from someone else. that a rotund man, short and stout walked into "The Great Outdoors" (Bait, Tackle & Fish Stories Emporium)and told TGO that he was condog.

Jim was not fooled, by this Tom-foolery, apparently Jim thought he was looking at a mirror when this happened.

Enough of these shinanigins and monkeyshines! Say it isn't so TGO.

Is this the whopper fishing story of all time? Something here stinks to high heaven!

The Great Outdoors
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08/02/2010 07:15AM  
The Corndog is in denial, although after seeing him, I can fully understand why he wishes to be a "mirror image" of myself.
He kinda reminded me of a walking Buddha statue with Al Franken's head stuck on it!!!!!
He was supposed to be on his way to Trout Lake, but there are several rumors floating around that he didn't make it.
From what I just heard, this trip report will be about his late night, going away party.
He apparently slept in the next morning,and missed the boat (no pun intended)
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :)
08/02/2010 08:12AM  
I was just teasing you TGO, I admit I visited TGO on Sunday Morning before my trip to Trout Lake, and I do admit TGO's description of me was spot on! I quote TGO himself, "a walking Buddha statue with Al Franken's head stuck on it!!!!!"

However, I also quote TGO, "mirror image of myself." This a fact: TGO and Corndog could be identical twins, like the ones in "Alice and Wonderland." Now we all know what you look like too, TGO.

The Angleworn story is true! However, you can still get a good fish story from TGO, he has many, I'm sure.

Yes! I missed the boat, for Trout Lake, Yes! I was seen around town. However, the staff at Wilderness Outfitters of Ely, accomodated me and still got me out on the water, but that is another story.

This page is about Angleworm, and the fact that a Rotund, weight-challenged (Politically correct term for Fatso) Paddling Master (I just came up with that title), braved the elements, overcame the odds and survived the Angleworm Portage. You can too, just hire someone to carry your gear, and crawl your way to the portage site like I did.

Almost my final Note for this Report: if you add Spartan1 to Spartan2 you will get many spare sparts. If you take those sparts to the BWCA, you will live happily ever after.
The Great Outdoors
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08/02/2010 12:49PM  
Hey, hey, hey there corndog!!!
I said you "wish" you were a mirror image of me, not we are mirror images, sheesh!! :)
Where did you get led astray in Ely that incapacitated you to the point that you weren't able to make the trip??????
08/02/2010 01:07PM  
Sorry TGO, but the fact is you described yourself, go look in the mirror.

I know this is hard to believe, but I think I had to gain weight to look more like you. I'm sure many others that have stumbled into your fish story emporium, which is next to the liquor store (by no coincidence), will attest to your own girth and Buddah like persona.

Furthermore, I was able to make the Trout Lake Trip (report being written), and I was not late I was delayed elsewhere, due to howling at the moon the previous night while camping at the Big Bear Lake State Campgrounds.

You can call Jordan, (Park Ranger extradinaire) to verify my sighting, he will remember me!

I was also sighted at Zup's, the Store Manager's Jim and Pat will attest to seeing a 325lb man that resembled TGO foraging in the food and toilet paper aisles.

Also, Marcy, Gary, Mike, Zack, and Caleb of Wilderness Outfitter's will verify the story, Hell, I generated more looks than a Bull Moose in Rut, running down East Camp Street in Ely.
The Great Outdoors
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08/02/2010 02:19PM  
corndog,
Glad to hear you were running down east Camp Street.
The Richter Scale was bouncing between 7 and 8 the other day, and we were afraid that Ely was having the first earthquake in history.
Now we know what was causing it:)
08/02/2010 02:57PM  
TGO,
I thank you sincerely for your good humor, I believe our combined weight casues the world to spin on its axis. I will ever be in your debt my friend with providing me so much fodder to shoot your way.
The Great Outdoors
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08/02/2010 04:15PM  
My rather svelt 140 pounds couldn't even cause an empty canoe to drop down 1 inch when I got inside:)
08/02/2010 09:01PM  
TGO,
I admit you are are not a large man, but it sure was fun floating your boat.

I wish I was at your weight and in as good of shape. Peace brother, I won't disparage you anymore.
The Great Outdoors
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08/03/2010 06:48AM  
Of course you will, that's what makes the forum fun:)
08/03/2010 07:48AM  
I am coming back to Eli in about 10 days, I'll stop by your bait and switch store TGO

Hpefully I can meet Kanoes.
The Great Outdoors
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08/03/2010 10:38AM  
See you then!!
Now start dissing kanoes:)
08/04/2010 06:18AM  
TGO, I am surprised at your suggestion!

This is a story of the Angleworm, many people will read it in the future to plan their trip.

I thought Kanoes was spelled with a C like Canoes. Is Kanoes the Canadian spelling?
The Great Outdoors
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08/04/2010 08:43AM  
Nah, kanoes with the k is the Prior Lake spelling!
08/04/2010 03:02PM  
O I C

Forgot to mention I was wind bound at Angleworm for 1/2 a day, that is why I tried to fish from shore.
08/07/2010 06:18PM  
This is my 39th post to my own thread, but I needed to let Tremolo and Spartan2 know that the Angleworm legend is alive and they are still sipping the Hatorade.
paddlefamily
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08/29/2010 02:20PM  
Dear Corndog,

I've done the Angleworm trail with two girlfriends. I commend you on your efforts. I was the canoe hauler. It wasn't easy.

This is the best report I have ever read and the tears of laughter now pooling on my lap from happiness prove it. A good example that there are many ways to reach the same goal. You're a rock star in my book and I hope that you enjoy many, many more adventures in the BW.

Please let us know.
08/31/2010 04:06PM  
Corndog: I loved your honesty, humility, and openness, and greatly enjoyed your story. Everyone has a first trip; some never get beyond dreaming about it. I don't know you, but I feel proud of you.

Of course, if you're pullin' our legs, I'm gonna kick your ass!! LOL
08/31/2010 07:41PM  
Paddlefamily and Arctic.

You are true believers and I thank you for your kind words. I say. "Never give up never surrender!" Quoted from Galaxy Quest, one of my all time favorite movies.

I plan on taking my daughter on a trip next summer and she is in great shape, (she runs XC for UoC) and I hope she appreciates the challenges. I asked her to read my post and she yawned. I can't get her to laugh at my exploits anymore, she just says. "OMG just stay home!"
08/31/2010 08:57PM  
There is nothing better than sharing the canoe tripping experience with family, if they're open to it. I hope you and your daughter can go.

Again, I don't know you, but would strongly encourage you build up your physical fitness, especially working on endurance and agility.

It's amazing to see how many people, even teenagers, are clumsy and accident prone in the backcountry, because they spend their lives on sidewalks and shopping malls.

A realistic amount of weight loss is also in store, but you already know that. These will go a long way toward ensuring that you will actually be able to go deeper into the canoe country, self-sufficiently, for years to come. Isn't that the goal of everyone on this forum?
09/01/2010 06:30PM  
have been losing weight steadily, Now on a good diet and exercise program and looking forward to more trips.
09/02/2010 04:59PM  
Good for you Corndog. Being fit enough to enjoy the BW has been a great motivator for me. Hope you find it the same. Would really enjoy meeting you someday.
09/02/2010 05:34PM  
Never forget the Angleworm! I laugh everytime I reread this tale.
Primitiveman
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05/07/2013 10:54PM  
So what happened with Corndog? This trip report is more than worth the price of admission to bwca.com Did he show up at wingnight? Did he turn out to be TGO's alter ego? Is/was he real? Or was it the beginning of an effort to make the BWCA handicapped accessible? It is hard to read the sad tale and not find it a little implausible.
inspector13
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05/08/2013 09:43AM  

He is real. He and his wife were at the Rockford Minnesota Wing weekend.

Zulu
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05/12/2013 06:23AM  






jb in the wild and Corndog having breakfast at 2010 Wingnight.
nolanbunch
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05/13/2013 11:20AM  
Is your son named Corn Fritter?
wrestlencanoe
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04/25/2015 08:11PM  
Top notch entertainment! Both the report and comments! Classic.
bapabear
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05/24/2015 05:31PM  
Agree with classic. I had forgotten about this one. Good resurrect.
kanoes
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05/24/2015 05:54PM  
ITS ALIVE!
06/05/2015 03:01PM  
Some stories never die:)
FISHMAN3
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06/05/2015 09:29PM  
I hope for the sake of other b dubers more sites on angleworm then that one. TGO is cleared at last
murphylakejim
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06/09/2015 11:46AM  
This is a must read thread.

Bravo corndog, encore encore!
rdgbwca
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05/28/2020 01:53PM  
This classic came up somehow when I searched the site for dispersed camping.

Seems like corndog only made the one trip?

Or have others seen him in the wilderness and he just stopped writing trip reports?
GraniteCliffs
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06/08/2020 03:15PM  
I have read the report at least twice before but not in several years. I just read it again and it still cracks me up!
Portage99
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06/11/2020 08:52PM  
OMG! That is 20 minutes of my life I cannot get back!!!

LOL

Someone needs to add a Cliff Notes version of this report and the comments. : )
07/04/2020 08:14PM  
Portage99: "OMG! That is 20 minutes of my life I cannot get back!!!


LOL


Someone needs to add a Cliff Notes version of this report and the comments. : )"


The comments are the best part!
06/05/2022 10:32PM  
rdgbwca: "This classic came up somehow when I searched the site for dispersed camping.


Seems like corndog only made the one trip?


Or have others seen him in the wilderness and he just stopped writing trip reports?"


I’m still here, I have shed 15 pounds and still enjoy a walk in the woods. I have passed the mantle of BWCA trips onto my daughter and her Bo. They will start there 2nd trip this weekend. Thanks!!
Northwoodsman
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06/06/2022 12:45PM  
Hey Corndog! I still laugh myself to tears every time I read this trip report. Sounds like my early trips.
06/06/2022 01:40PM  
Whoever bumped this back up--thank you. Its kind of like The Andy Griffith Show--even after all these years the reruns are awesome. This post never gets old.
rdgbwca
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06/06/2022 01:49PM  
Corndog: "rdgbwca: "
Or have others seen him in the wilderness and he just stopped writing trip reports?"


I’m still here, I have shed 15 pounds and still enjoy a walk in the woods. I have passed the mantle of BWCA trips onto my daughter and her Bo. They will start there 2nd trip this weekend. Thanks!!"


I see that you are still here as an internet legend.

BTW, this report includes important verifiable details such as: the mosquito eating is real. I have seen it. I would advise breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Have you ever gone back to the bwca guided or otherwise?

You also forgot to mention if your daughter and her Bo would be entering at Angleworm...
 
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