Thursday September 17, 2009 8:56 pm

WOW! WOW! WOW! I can’t believe that I’m really here - that I’m really going to do this! A BWCA solo - never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d do such an adventure. I only hope that it is the first of many.

I was able to bug out of work a little early - thanks Ang! I figured it would take about three hours to get to Sawbill outfitters and I figured correctly. I pulled in at about 6:50 - the shop was still open so I was able to get my canoe, watch the video and get my permit. By the time I got the van situated it was too dark to take the canoe out or try walking with it ~ will just have to wait for morning.

The drive up was uneventful - thank goodness. I stopped in Two Harbors for gas and potty break & that was it - no other stops. As I got closer and closer to Tofte my anxiousness to be here grew - I think I was racing the clock. That made me think of the one statement Mitch said: “A car is not a time machine” and that is so true!

As I drove up Sawbill trail I felt a peace of mind that words just can’t describe. The sun was setting behind the Sawtooth Mountains, reflecting on the early fall colors, red and gold. The sky was a beautiful blue with just a few puffy clouds. In my mind I felt such a release and relaxation come over me ~ something about nature, Gods awesome creation and being one with it is just . . . . I don’t know, Fabulous? Fantastic? Awe Inspiring? And I haven’t even really started my trip yet!

As I was privatizing (is that even a word?!) the van (towels and pillow cases duct-taped over the windows) Mitch came over and introduced himself. It’s so cool that there’s this entire community of people brought together by one common passion - BWCA. Everyone that I’ve met so far has been so awesome. The willingness to accept new-comers, the sharing of knowledge and the trust of the members shows me that all is well with the world.

After I finished in the van I walked down to the boat landing. It was pretty dark so there wasn’t much to see. I’m hoping to capture some photos of those “White Horses” one of these cool mornings. After I was done at the boat landing I found Mitch again at his campsite and we visited for a while. It’s odd to me to feel like you’ve begun a new friendship when you haven’t even met them in person. I think that’s what draws me to BWCA.com. The camaraderie ~ even without having met anyone face to face. We had a nice chat and I enjoyed meeting and getting to know him.

The CCS pack I borrowed from Kyle is FANTASTIC! That will definitely be on my Christmas/Birthday list - I haven’t even hardly used it yet and I already know that I like it.

I wanted to have a fire tonight but after getting things ready for bed and for tomorrow it’s too late and I need to get to sleep. The last couple of days I was like a kid at Christmas ~ so excited and ready to go! Today at work was the worst. Thank goodness I was busy so it made the day go fast.

I’m looking forward to the gorgeous weather that is in the forecast. Each day that it’s been sunny I’ve thought about Jan and GSP on their trips as well. I’ll be back before Jan and can’t wait to hear about his Quetico trip. I’d really like to try that. BUT patience is needed as I get some experience under my belt. If I can make it work I’m hoping to have four long weekend trips next summer. Lottie would like to go and so do Mom and Manda. I’ve got lots of planning to do this winter!

Time to read now before sleep sets in . . . zzzzzzz

Saturday September 19, 2009 time????? I’d guess about 7:30ish. Woke up this morning to the frequent slap-slurp, slap-slurp of the waves against the shore. They didn’t calm down overnight. I pulled the canoe out and gave it a go being unloaded and boy was she rocky in those waves. I can’t imagine what it would be like in real big waves. So, I’m not packing up this morning. I’ll just see how the day progresses. I’m sitting down by the rock watching the white horses across the lake. The sun is out as I can see it light up the trees across the lake. It has yet to make an appearance in my little site. A family of five hooded mergansers just nonchalantly swam by me - they either didn’t see me or just didn’t care. I was so busy studying them that I didn’t even think about a photo ‘til they were gone. They were all brown and about the same size as a mallard - it was either a bunch of juveniles with mom or all females - none of them were black. I had heard a “quack” but a different kind - I’m sure it was them. A yellow-bellied sap sucker just flew into the cedar tree and is knock, knock, knocking for breakfast. As I was trying to get a good shot with the camera - TRAIL FIND! Someone left a pair of kids black sunglasses - with flames - finders’ keepers. Isaac will like them. They’ll go with his flame pants. Cool.

There doesn’t seem to be much of a breeze but the fog is sure moving fast on the water. I would really like to move on today but with waves and tippy-canoe - hey that should be my new handle! I’m too chicken - I don’t want to dump again.

Somewhere in the back of me a blue jay is calling. The loons are as well as I still have yet to see them. I heard them all through the night. I woke up chilly - not sure what time it was as I didn’t look. I’m surprised that I wasn’t more scared - all alone in the dark. I put my ear plugs in, took my sleeping buddy, left the red lamp on my head lamp on and immediately feel asleep. I was pretty comfy until I got chilly. First thing this morning I went and cut some more fire wood, but then decided to just use the stove to heat water. Had Mountain House scrambled eggs - wasn’t as bad as I thought they’d be. I’d buy and eat them again. Sure was easy fixing. Made some hot cocoa to go with it and I’m all set. Now only if the water would calm down a bit so I could leave. Maybe when the mist is through.

The loons are toward the south end of the lake and their mournful cries echo down the corridor. Soulful and sad and eerie at the same time. AHA! Patience has paid off - a lone loon just landed about 50 yards off shore. Now I can watch him for a while. There’s a bald eagle flying over the ridge and water. It just swooped down for a fish. The loon is calling back and forth to the other loons at each end of the lake. Makes me wonder what they’re “talking” about.

Well my watch says 12:11 pm and the camera 1:20. So I really don’t have a clue as to the time. I hit one of the buttons on it this morning and may have changed the time - oh well, no big deal - kind of nice to not go by the clock either.

I decided that I needed to tackle that fear of waves ~ it’s ridiculous that a grown woman - almost 40 can be so anxious about it. So….I started packing gear, took an ativan, loaded the canoe and paddled north towards Kelso! Yahoo! I was very close to the portage and could have made it yesterday - that that’s okay. I enjoyed my day at my site. The portage entry was easy to find - a nice big sandy beach - would make for good swimming in warm summer weather. The portage trail, however, was a bit trickier as there were three different trails all leading in different directions. I left all the gear at the beginning and walked two of them. Second ones a charm - found the correct one. Wow, though, that trail is an ankle breaker of one. Roots, rocks, holes galore. I think in wet times those holes fill with water. It isn’t a long one but I sure had to watch my step. I again triple portaged it all, taking it easy and taking my time - no need for an injury. The canoe put-in on Kelso was very mucky and swampy, low water with dead trees sticking up and lots of grass. On my second step after putting the canoe down I sunk calf deep in sucking, stinky, foul black yuck. But it didn’t keep my boot when I pulled away. I had to really watch my step when loading - I didn’t want that nasty stuff inside my boots!

Shoved off from “shore” - if one can call it that - and was treated to a swamp full of water lilies and grass, hidden rocks, downed trees and very shallow water. Took a bit of maneuvering around but I finally made it to deeper water. With as murky and swampy as it is I imagine the mosquitoes and black flies are absolutely vicious in spring and summer. I didn’t see a one.

Instead of paddling North on Kelso I went right for the “river” heading to the Sawbill portage. I don’t know that I’d call it a river but instead a duck path through the swamp. It was deep enough and a lot shorter than I imagined from the map. Again, the portage landing was nice and easy. The trail to Sawbill a lot better than the Kelso one. Same triple portage - it’s actually not so bad doing that on those smaller portages. I took my time absorbing nature and the beauty. It smells so good and there are so many different ones ~ a dog would go bonkers I imagine. At the Kelso landing it was the detritus and murky water. When I pulled my boot out, it smelled like nasty fart. I know there’s a technical term for it, but I don’t know it off the top of my head. On the trail to Sawbill the pine scent was so strong. Not overpowering but definitely present. Sitting in my chair I smell the lake, decaying leaves, pine and every so often a waft of stale fire (as I’m sitting next to the fire grate).

I paddled through the west bay on Sawbill - still undetermined as to which directly to go. I turned North as I came around the peninsula and headed for the east shore. I just wanted to paddle til I felt like stopping - also had to keep in mind the further North I go the further paddle I have before going home - that’s tomorrow already! Anyway, I checked the map and my options were to shoot for the lone site in a bay (I’ll have to look up the number) or head further north to one of those sites up there. As I neared the bay, I decided to check it out - my arms were tired already - what a wuss. Beautiful little cove that faces west - the site was mine just waiting for me. Also waiting for me was another tricky landing. Boy I dislike those BUT I did it without dumping the canoe. I just got out in deep water to avid the shore rocks - deeper than my boots so the filled with water . . . Again.

The site sits up a small cliff and is very, very private. There are a lot more white cedar trees here than at the other one and they’re more mature. There are three nice tent pads - one back amidst the cedars - I took that one - the ground is kind of spongy so will make for softer sleeping - no knots or rocks in my back.

Got camp set up in no time and as soon as the tent was up I had a big gray nasty visitor crawl on it - a spider about the size of a quarter - legs and all. I took some pictures - they’re not the best - I was a-sceered to get too close - ewww. I tried shaking the tent but he wouldn’t budge. So I took a stick and flicked him off. The little sucker rose up on his legs like those attack kind you see on TV. I’m gonna have to look him up online. I was a murderer and killed it - with no shame, no sorrow. Don’t want the bugger near me or my tent. Of course there are probably a hundred more just like him lurking in the shadows just waiting to get me…dunh, dunh, dunh!

Found the throne - isn’t too far from camp and is an easy walk - but phewey this one is ripe - do my business and get out of there ASAP.

Had a couple of canoes come into the bay - not sure if they were wanting the site or just checking it out - but - ha ha eeeeesss mine! The sun is out and it’s gorgeously, deliciously warm - I actually got hot on the last portage and paddle. There’s more flies buzzing around today but still haven’t seen any skeeters.

I’ve had to fill the water jug right from shore - canoe was way too tippy to do mid-lake. I have the drinking water filter but am thinking that a base camp filter might be a good investment. One thing at a time.

On Kelso River I startled a flock of Canadian geese away. I just drifted slowly so I wouldn’t’ come at them too fast, but still must have been too much cuz they finally just flew away.

I just did the math and on this trip will be a total of 329 rods of portaging - that’s not including hauling the canoe down from the store. Wow-who’da thunk I could do this all by myself and on my 2nd trip ever to BWCA. I think the past several years of camping have really helped me to be ready. Most families move up in gear they purchase - tent, pop-up, RV etc. Our family has done the opposite. We’ve stayed with our tents, going to smaller versions, have not used airbeds the last few times and are real conservative about the amount of junk that’s brought along. Of course there’s still the problem of always too much food!

Ahhh, sitting here, journaling, listening to nothing but nature, looking out at the lake occasionally and eating a snack-pack - don’t know that it could get any better! Looks like there are a few clouds coming in from the west/southwest - hope they stay puffy and empty. Last night I sat and watched the fog move in - it was rather eerie. Heavy, white, low clouds came over and gradually settled for the night. That meant it also blocked the stars. Bummer.

Watch says 2:31 - seems about right. We’re having a spectacular Indian summer day - sunny warmth about 75* in the shade - no wonder I got warm gathering wood. Have now seen a couple of mosquitoes - the last remnants of summer to be sure. Lunch today was Knorrs southwest side with chicken - tasty - but too much. I went for a walk around my little cove - at least as far as I could go. It’s riddled with cedar trees and pine - as I walked through them they’d rub on me their sweet, spicy scent - mmmmm. I came upon a boulder field and didn’t dare walk in it - way too many ways to fall in and break a leg or and ankle and I most certainly don’t need that to happen. All of them are monstrous. I wonder if it was a river eons a go. I also followed a rail up past the throne and found that it urns into a steep ridge - no climbing that sucker. I wanted to go further around the cove on the north side, but with those boulders it’s too much of a barrier. If I wasn’t alone I’d try it though. I have yet to explore the south side - not sure if there’s a trail or not. Other than the landing being a bugger this is a really nice site. However, it’s been fairly sheltered from the wind so would imagine that the skeeters are bad in summer.

It’s setting up to be another gorgeous evening - there are only a few clouds now. While on my hike/wood search, I found a nasty thong. Not sure if I’ll pack it out. Ewwwww. I should just burn it - even though you’re not supposed to burn trash. It’s been there for a while because there’s even moss growing on it. Gross.

The waves on Sawbill sound like they’re big and fierce but they must not be too ad because there have been several canoes going boy out there. I think mostly day trippers because they’ll be gone for a while then come back the other way. If all goes well in the morning I should be back to Sawbill by noon and home by 4pm. Mark and the girls are going to Renaissance Festival - no thank you. Em is hanging with Alex and Brooke. I’m so glad that Emily and I took our BW trip this summer as it won’t be until 2011 before she’ll be able to do that again. Next summer Manda wants to go - even is interested in a Quetico trip - we’ll see. Then there’s Lottie and mom. Also want to do a group/girls solo with Trix - so much to plan - will there be enough time?! If no more surgeries are needed there should be.

Friday before I left Mark called - all excited - he got a job! Scenic Signs in St. Cloud called him back - after MONTHS and he’ll start some time next week. I’m so relieved - he needs to get out of the house and feel like he’s doing something productive. I just hope this is a good thing and that he doesn’t find out that they’re jerks to work for. In any case he was excited - as he should be!

4:14 pm - it’s getting to be almost time to make supper - if the watch is correct. I took that hike down the other side of the cove but the trail doesn’t go very far before it disappears and I didn’t feel like bushwhacking it. There also was another boulder field there. ON the map it looks like there should be a stream or creek on each side, but I didn’t find any. Perhaps it’s been too dry.

The sun is going to set tonight behind the trees on my cove so I don’t think it will be as brilliant as last night. I’ll just have to be patient and see. I read several pages this afternoon in the Root Beer Lady book. What an amazing woman. To think that she went against the grain of society and succeeded in accomplishing the things she was most passionate about is inspiring. I know in today’s society there’s the power women - but how many have taken the opportunity to do the truly hard things in life? The things one must do to survive without modern conveniences? I know none of my friends or family (Emily might) would ever attempt this type of trip. Why? My guess is the danger of being so isolated, the hard work and lack of knowledge and the enormous lack of desire. Isolated? Sure, I’m out here in the woods, no modern convenience - except my bag chair - no immediate access to help. What do they think pioneer women/frontier women did? They survived in what they did and they made due with what they had. Lack of knowledge? All life is a learning experience - everything new learned is a treasure. Research and asking questions goes a long way for preparing - in any endeavor! Lack of desire? This is something that will forever baffle me. I’m sitting in one of Gods greatest creations, one of the most beautiful and pristine areas in the world and I got here by sheer determination and desire. I did it - on my own with the cumulative knowledge of my fellow BWCA buds and a couple pieces of borrowed g ear. I don’t understand how one can NOT want to be here. But I also cannot understand another’s desire to visit L.A. or NYC. The crowd I see right now is the crowd I can handle - trees, water, moss, rocks and life - it’s thriving and rejuvenating my soul.

Tomorrow is time to go home. I suppose I’m ready….nah….I could stay another day or two. The guys were right though, moving each day is necessary on a solo - I’m glad I came over to Sawbill - will do Kelso another time.

Somewhere in the distance I can hear a chainsaw - at Sawbill campground perhaps? Looking at the map there doesn’t appear to be any other “public” areas. Depending on what time I leave tomorrow I may stop at some of the other forest service campgrounds along the way to check them out.

This is going to be a long trip report to type up ~ all my crazy mind wandering ~ my thoughts on paper. Even as I sit here I think “oh, there are my socks hanging in the tree to dry, better not forget those!” Getting up right now to put them away.

4:55 pm - Read some more and took photos of the little red squirrel that lives here. He’s been munching on the cedar cones/seeds having a wonderful dinner. He let me get pretty close so I hope the photos turn out. He must not be used to people food like Booger was cuz he’s left my stuff alone all day - even when I left it out to go walking around - what a good little guy.

I hear the unmistakable sound of paddle against canoe, though I don’t see anyone yet. There aren’t any close campsites so I hope they’re not after this one - cuz it’s all mine. I feel like a nosy, old lady sitting on her porch watching the neighbors. Except I don’t have any neighbors and I’m just waiting to see that canoe I hear. There’s a skeeter buzzing my head and it has a death wish - there - wish granted.

Must be some humidity in the air as it’s hazy across the lake though it doesn’t feel too humid to me. I took some photos, did some more portraits too - oooohhey are they bad! I have a bandana on my head and that makes me look like a cancer patient - greasy hair makes me look just gross. Will put hat on and do pix with that instead - maybe will be better.

5:28 pm - I made fire - again - still without cheating. Used dryer lint and Vaseline things for starters and the wood I found for kindling was nice and dry. The previous occupant had cut and split some wood - very nice. I’m not strong enough to split but I’ll leave a bunch of kindling and probably won’t use up all the big pieces. I’m not super hungry so don’t know what I’ll make for supper. As I gaze at the filthy fire grate I ponder the comment that guys will pee on the fire to put it out. If that really happens that is most disgusting and makes me hesitate to ever cook anything on it. I.e. my steaks - that are still in the freezer at work - along with my coffee filters - oh well, paper towels work.

I’ve got a good hot, crackling fire goin, but it’s not chilly ~ yet. We’ll see what happens when the sun sets.

6:54 pm - Everything is all snugged down and packed away for the night - all except me. Got some beautiful photos of the sunset - it tricked me and set directly across from my campsite - it was spectacular! I had supper of chicken and teriyaki knorr and peas. I ended up throwing half of it away - now I know for next time.

Fires still a crackling and throwing off heat. There’s no breeze and the cove is already calming - if it continues that ay it will be like glass in the morning. That would be just fine by me. There’s a large bird in the tree that is making kid of a whining noise - very quietly. It’s dark enough that all I’m able to see is a shadow o I can’t tell what it is. One thing I’ve noticed over here today is the lack of chickadees. There were several at the Alton site. Now I hear a prop plane flying around - I didn’t look up to see it though. I’m always curious as to their destination - is it a private plane? Government? Or just what? So nosy.

There have been vandals at this campsite - tearing away birch bark from live trees and chopping into the sitting log. I haven’t noticed any initials though. I used up the pile of fire wood that some wonderful person left - wish I was able to split logs like that but I tried and don’t have the strength. I did leave a nice big pile of different size kindling and there’s still one log left - I’m gonna just let this one burn out now. I’m not sleepy yet but suspect that once I hit the mat I’m going to be out cold. I do believe it’s warmer this evening than yesterday at this time. Would be nice to not wake up cold again.

There are so many of those little water bugs on the water that it looks like it’s raining though it isn’t. There isn’t’ a cloud to be seen. Would be nice to see some stars tonight or a moose or beaver. Prefer not a bear - they can stay away though that entire boulder field would make a great winter den!

8:00 pm - and I’m all set in the tent for the night. Cleaned up camp this evening so it won’t take too much to get packed to head home. I’m ready and I’m not. Ready for the creature comfort of my bed and to snuggle my boy. Sadly I haven’t been lonesome at all. Well…not sadly - surprisingly? I know others may get their feeling hurt that I’m not missing them but I REALLY needed this alone, me time. I’ll write more tomorrow before heading home. Gonna lay down now.

Saturday September 19, 2009 time????? I’d guess about 7:30ish. Woke up this morning to the frequent slap-slurp, slap-slurp of the waves against the shore. They didn’t calm down overnight. I pulled the canoe out and gave it a go being unloaded and boy was she rocky in those waves. I can’t imagine what it would be like in real big waves. So, I’m not packing up this morning. I’ll just see how the day progresses. I’m sitting down by the rock watching the white horses across the lake. The sun is out as I can see it light up the trees across the lake. It has yet to make an appearance in my little site. A family of five hooded mergansers just nonchalantly swam by me - they either didn’t see me or just didn’t care. I was so busy studying them that I didn’t even think about a photo ‘til they were gone. They were all brown and about the same size as a mallard - it was either a bunch of juveniles with mom or all females - none of them were black. I had heard a “quack” but a different kind - I’m sure it was them. A yellow-bellied sap sucker just flew into the cedar tree and is knock, knock, knocking for breakfast. As I was trying to get a good shot with the camera - TRAIL FIND! Someone left a pair of kids black sunglasses - with flames - finders’ keepers. Isaac will like them. They’ll go with his flame pants. Cool.

There doesn’t seem to be much of a breeze but the fog is sure moving fast on the water. I would really like to move on today but with waves and tippy-canoe - hey that should be my new handle! I’m too chicken - I don’t want to dump again.

Somewhere in the back of me a blue jay is calling. The loons are as well as I still have yet to see them. I heard them all through the night. I woke up chilly - not sure what time it was as I didn’t look. I’m surprised that I wasn’t more scared - all alone in the dark. I put my ear plugs in, took my sleeping buddy, left the red lamp on my head lamp on and immediately feel asleep. I was pretty comfy until I got chilly. First thing this morning I went and cut some more fire wood, but then decided to just use the stove to heat water. Had Mountain House scrambled eggs - wasn’t as bad as I thought they’d be. I’d buy and eat them again. Sure was easy fixing. Made some hot cocoa to go with it and I’m all set. Now only if the water would calm down a bit so I could leave. Maybe when the mist is through.

The loons are toward the south end of the lake and their mournful cries echo down the corridor. Soulful and sad and eerie at the same time. AHA! Patience has paid off - a lone loon just landed about 50 yards off shore. Now I can watch him for a while. There’s a bald eagle flying over the ridge and water. It just swooped down for a fish. The loon is calling back and forth to the other loons at each end of the lake. Makes me wonder what they’re “talking” about.

Well my watch says 12:11 pm and the camera 1:20. So I really don’t have a clue as to the time. I hit one of the buttons on it this morning and may have changed the time - oh well, no big deal - kind of nice to not go by the clock either.

I decided that I needed to tackle that fear of waves ~ it’s ridiculous that a grown woman - almost 40 can be so anxious about it. So….I started packing gear, took an ativan, loaded the canoe and paddled north towards Kelso! Yahoo! I was very close to the portage and could have made it yesterday - that that’s okay. I enjoyed my day at my site. The portage entry was easy to find - a nice big sandy beach - would make for good swimming in warm summer weather. The portage trail, however, was a bit trickier as there were three different trails all leading in different directions. I left all the gear at the beginning and walked two of them. Second ones a charm - found the correct one. Wow, though, that trail is an ankle breaker of one. Roots, rocks, holes galore. I think in wet times those holes fill with water. It isn’t a long one but I sure had to watch my step. I again triple portaged it all, taking it easy and taking my time - no need for an injury. The canoe put-in on Kelso was very mucky and swampy, low water with dead trees sticking up and lots of grass. On my second step after putting the canoe down I sunk calf deep in sucking, stinky, foul black yuck. But it didn’t keep my boot when I pulled away. I had to really watch my step when loading - I didn’t want that nasty stuff inside my boots!

Shoved off from “shore” - if one can call it that - and was treated to a swamp full of water lilies and grass, hidden rocks, downed trees and very shallow water. Took a bit of maneuvering around but I finally made it to deeper water. With as murky and swampy as it is I imagine the mosquitoes and black flies are absolutely vicious in spring and summer. I didn’t see a one.

Instead of paddling North on Kelso I went right for the “river” heading to the Sawbill portage. I don’t know that I’d call it a river but instead a duck path through the swamp. It was deep enough and a lot shorter than I imagined from the map. Again, the portage landing was nice and easy. The trail to Sawbill a lot better than the Kelso one. Same triple portage - it’s actually not so bad doing that on those smaller portages. I took my time absorbing nature and the beauty. It smells so good and there are so many different ones ~ a dog would go bonkers I imagine. At the Kelso landing it was the detritus and murky water. When I pulled my boot out, it smelled like nasty fart. I know there’s a technical term for it, but I don’t know it off the top of my head. On the trail to Sawbill the pine scent was so strong. Not overpowering but definitely present. Sitting in my chair I smell the lake, decaying leaves, pine and every so often a waft of stale fire (as I’m sitting next to the fire grate).

I paddled through the west bay on Sawbill - still undetermined as to which directly to go. I turned North as I came around the peninsula and headed for the east shore. I just wanted to paddle til I felt like stopping - also had to keep in mind the further North I go the further paddle I have before going home - that’s tomorrow already! Anyway, I checked the map and my options were to shoot for the lone site in a bay (I’ll have to look up the number) or head further north to one of those sites up there. As I neared the bay, I decided to check it out - my arms were tired already - what a wuss. Beautiful little cove that faces west - the site was mine just waiting for me. Also waiting for me was another tricky landing. Boy I dislike those BUT I did it without dumping the canoe. I just got out in deep water to avid the shore rocks - deeper than my boots so the filled with water . . . Again.

The site sits up a small cliff and is very, very private. There are a lot more white cedar trees here than at the other one and they’re more mature. There are three nice tent pads - one back amidst the cedars - I took that one - the ground is kind of spongy so will make for softer sleeping - no knots or rocks in my back.

Got camp set up in no time and as soon as the tent was up I had a big gray nasty visitor crawl on it - a spider about the size of a quarter - legs and all. I took some pictures - they’re not the best - I was a-sceered to get too close - ewww. I tried shaking the tent but he wouldn’t budge. So I took a stick and flicked him off. The little sucker rose up on his legs like those attack kind you see on TV. I’m gonna have to look him up online. I was a murderer and killed it - with no shame, no sorrow. Don’t want the bugger near me or my tent. Of course there are probably a hundred more just like him lurking in the shadows just waiting to get me…dunh, dunh, dunh!

Found the throne - isn’t too far from camp and is an easy walk - but phewey this one is ripe - do my business and get out of there ASAP.

Had a couple of canoes come into the bay - not sure if they were wanting the site or just checking it out - but - ha ha eeeeesss mine! The sun is out and it’s gorgeously, deliciously warm - I actually got hot on the last portage and paddle. There’s more flies buzzing around today but still haven’t seen any skeeters.

I’ve had to fill the water jug right from shore - canoe was way too tippy to do mid-lake. I have the drinking water filter but am thinking that a base camp filter might be a good investment. One thing at a time.

On Kelso River I startled a flock of Canadian geese away. I just drifted slowly so I wouldn’t’ come at them too fast, but still must have been too much cuz they finally just flew away.

I just did the math and on this trip will be a total of 329 rods of portaging - that’s not including hauling the canoe down from the store. Wow-who’da thunk I could do this all by myself and on my 2nd trip ever to BWCA. I think the past several years of camping have really helped me to be ready. Most families move up in gear they purchase - tent, pop-up, RV etc. Our family has done the opposite. We’ve stayed with our tents, going to smaller versions, have not used airbeds the last few times and are real conservative about the amount of junk that’s brought along. Of course there’s still the problem of always too much food!

Ahhh, sitting here, journaling, listening to nothing but nature, looking out at the lake occasionally and eating a snack-pack - don’t know that it could get any better! Looks like there are a few clouds coming in from the west/southwest - hope they stay puffy and empty. Last night I sat and watched the fog move in - it was rather eerie. Heavy, white, low clouds came over and gradually settled for the night. That meant it also blocked the stars. Bummer.

Watch says 2:31 - seems about right. We’re having a spectacular Indian summer day - sunny warmth about 75* in the shade - no wonder I got warm gathering wood. Have now seen a couple of mosquitoes - the last remnants of summer to be sure. Lunch today was Knorrs southwest side with chicken - tasty - but too much. I went for a walk around my little cove - at least as far as I could go. It’s riddled with cedar trees and pine - as I walked through them they’d rub on me their sweet, spicy scent - mmmmm. I came upon a boulder field and didn’t dare walk in it - way too many ways to fall in and break a leg or and ankle and I most certainly don’t need that to happen. All of them are monstrous. I wonder if it was a river eons a go. I also followed a rail up past the throne and found that it urns into a steep ridge - no climbing that sucker. I wanted to go further around the cove on the north side, but with those boulders it’s too much of a barrier. If I wasn’t alone I’d try it though. I have yet to explore the south side - not sure if there’s a trail or not. Other than the landing being a bugger this is a really nice site. However, it’s been fairly sheltered from the wind so would imagine that the skeeters are bad in summer.

It’s setting up to be another gorgeous evening - there are only a few clouds now. While on my hike/wood search, I found a nasty thong. Not sure if I’ll pack it out. Ewwwww. I should just burn it - even though you’re not supposed to burn trash. It’s been there for a while because there’s even moss growing on it. Gross.

The waves on Sawbill sound like they’re big and fierce but they must not be too ad because there have been several canoes going boy out there. I think mostly day trippers because they’ll be gone for a while then come back the other way. If all goes well in the morning I should be back to Sawbill by noon and home by 4pm. Mark and the girls are going to Renaissance Festival - no thank you. Em is hanging with Alex and Brooke. I’m so glad that Emily and I took our BW trip this summer as it won’t be until 2011 before she’ll be able to do that again. Next summer Manda wants to go - even is interested in a Quetico trip - we’ll see. Then there’s Lottie and mom. Also want to do a group/girls solo with Trix - so much to plan - will there be enough time?! If no more surgeries are needed there should be.

Friday before I left Mark called - all excited - he got a job! Scenic Signs in St. Cloud called him back - after MONTHS and he’ll start some time next week. I’m so relieved - he needs to get out of the house and feel like he’s doing something productive. I just hope this is a good thing and that he doesn’t find out that they’re jerks to work for. In any case he was excited - as he should be!

4:14 pm - it’s getting to be almost time to make supper - if the watch is correct. I took that hike down the other side of the cove but the trail doesn’t go very far before it disappears and I didn’t feel like bushwhacking it. There also was another boulder field there. ON the map it looks like there should be a stream or creek on each side, but I didn’t find any. Perhaps it’s been too dry.

The sun is going to set tonight behind the trees on my cove so I don’t think it will be as brilliant as last night. I’ll just have to be patient and see. I read several pages this afternoon in the Root Beer Lady book. What an amazing woman. To think that she went against the grain of society and succeeded in accomplishing the things she was most passionate about is inspiring. I know in today’s society there’s the power women - but how many have taken the opportunity to do the truly hard things in life? The things one must do to survive without modern conveniences? I know none of my friends or family (Emily might) would ever attempt this type of trip. Why? My guess is the danger of being so isolated, the hard work and lack of knowledge and the enormous lack of desire. Isolated? Sure, I’m out here in the woods, no modern convenience - except my bag chair - no immediate access to help. What do they think pioneer women/frontier women did? They survived in what they did and they made due with what they had. Lack of knowledge? All life is a learning experience - everything new learned is a treasure. Research and asking questions goes a long way for preparing - in any endeavor! Lack of desire? This is something that will forever baffle me. I’m sitting in one of Gods greatest creations, one of the most beautiful and pristine areas in the world and I got here by sheer determination and desire. I did it - on my own with the cumulative knowledge of my fellow BWCA buds and a couple pieces of borrowed g ear. I don’t understand how one can NOT want to be here. But I also cannot understand another’s desire to visit L.A. or NYC. The crowd I see right now is the crowd I can handle - trees, water, moss, rocks and life - it’s thriving and rejuvenating my soul.

Tomorrow is time to go home. I suppose I’m ready….nah….I could stay another day or two. The guys were right though, moving each day is necessary on a solo - I’m glad I came over to Sawbill - will do Kelso another time.

Somewhere in the distance I can hear a chainsaw - at Sawbill campground perhaps? Looking at the map there doesn’t appear to be any other “public” areas. Depending on what time I leave tomorrow I may stop at some of the other forest service campgrounds along the way to check them out.

This is going to be a long trip report to type up ~ all my crazy mind wandering ~ my thoughts on paper. Even as I sit here I think “oh, there are my socks hanging in the tree to dry, better not forget those!” Getting up right now to put them away.

4:55 pm - Read some more and took photos of the little red squirrel that lives here. He’s been munching on the cedar cones/seeds having a wonderful dinner. He let me get pretty close so I hope the photos turn out. He must not be used to people food like Booger was cuz he’s left my stuff alone all day - even when I left it out to go walking around - what a good little guy.

I hear the unmistakable sound of paddle against canoe, though I don’t see anyone yet. There aren’t any close campsites so I hope they’re not after this one - cuz it’s all mine. I feel like a nosy, old lady sitting on her porch watching the neighbors. Except I don’t have any neighbors and I’m just waiting to see that canoe I hear. There’s a skeeter buzzing my head and it has a death wish - there - wish granted.

Must be some humidity in the air as it’s hazy across the lake though it doesn’t feel too humid to me. I took some photos, did some more portraits too - oooohhey are they bad! I have a bandana on my head and that makes me look like a cancer patient - greasy hair makes me look just gross. Will put hat on and do pix with that instead - maybe will be better.

5:28 pm - I made fire - again - still without cheating. Used dryer lint and Vaseline things for starters and the wood I found for kindling was nice and dry. The previous occupant had cut and split some wood - very nice. I’m not strong enough to split but I’ll leave a bunch of kindling and probably won’t use up all the big pieces. I’m not super hungry so don’t know what I’ll make for supper. As I gaze at the filthy fire grate I ponder the comment that guys will pee on the fire to put it out. If that really happens that is most disgusting and makes me hesitate to ever cook anything on it. I.e. my steaks - that are still in the freezer at work - along with my coffee filters - oh well, paper towels work.

I’ve got a good hot, crackling fire goin, but it’s not chilly ~ yet. We’ll see what happens when the sun sets.

6:54 pm - Everything is all snugged down and packed away for the night - all except me. Got some beautiful photos of the sunset - it tricked me and set directly across from my campsite - it was spectacular! I had supper of chicken and teriyaki knorr and peas. I ended up throwing half of it away - now I know for next time.

Fires still a crackling and throwing off heat. There’s no breeze and the cove is already calming - if it continues that ay it will be like glass in the morning. That would be just fine by me. There’s a large bird in the tree that is making kid of a whining noise - very quietly. It’s dark enough that all I’m able to see is a shadow o I can’t tell what it is. One thing I’ve noticed over here today is the lack of chickadees. There were several at the Alton site. Now I hear a prop plane flying around - I didn’t look up to see it though. I’m always curious as to their destination - is it a private plane? Government? Or just what? So nosy.

There have been vandals at this campsite - tearing away birch bark from live trees and chopping into the sitting log. I haven’t noticed any initials though. I used up the pile of fire wood that some wonderful person left - wish I was able to split logs like that but I tried and don’t have the strength. I did leave a nice big pile of different size kindling and there’s still one log left - I’m gonna just let this one burn out now. I’m not sleepy yet but suspect that once I hit the mat I’m going to be out cold. I do believe it’s warmer this evening than yesterday at this time. Would be nice to not wake up cold again.

There are so many of those little water bugs on the water that it looks like it’s raining though it isn’t. There isn’t’ a cloud to be seen. Would be nice to see some stars tonight or a moose or beaver. Prefer not a bear - they can stay away though that entire boulder field would make a great winter den!

8:00 pm - and I’m all set in the tent for the night. Cleaned up camp this evening so it won’t take too much to get packed to head home. I’m ready and I’m not. Ready for the creature comfort of my bed and to snuggle my boy. Sadly I haven’t been lonesome at all. Well…not sadly - surprisingly? I know others may get their feeling hurt that I’m not missing them but I REALLY needed this alone, me time. I’ll write more tomorrow before heading home. Gonna lay down now.

Sunday September 20, 2009 8:04 am - I’m blissfully floating on almost mirror like water. The sun is up and I hear people and smell campfire I must be getting closet to landing - more later.

I’m definitely almost back. It’s such a quiet peaceful morning - the chatter of red squirrels, call of robins and fish jumping. There’s not even the slup-slurp of waves against the shore. The only sound is my paddle very now and ten. The campfire smoke is pouring out of the campground and creeping over the calm surface of the water like some eerie poison gas - something out of a movie.

Back at Sawbill campground: I’m finding that I’m not ready to leave yet. There are several groups that are unloading and leaving - men mostly. Unloading didn’t take long and went off without incident. Carried the canoe up to the store and took the van down to get the rest of the gear. Settled up at the office and visited with Bill for a few minutes. Decided that I’m not ready to leave yet - want to finish up this trip journal first.

I woke this morning at about 6:10 am and laid there for a while but not long cuz my body was screaming at me to get up and get moving around. I had to mind or suffer further punishment later.

As I packed (as all weekend) I’ve though about my friend on their various trips wondering how they’re doing, have they found what they were seeking? I know I did. I found peace and serenity beyond words. I found strength and courage in myself that I didn’t realize were there. I found that I can tackle those big waves and wind and that I’ll pull through. I learned that dumping a canoe isn’t so bad. Most of all my passion for canoe camping has turned from a small fire to an inferno - that needs to be fed - whether by trips, reading or new gear it’s going to grow and grow and never be contained.

That being said, I look forward to a winter of planning trips for myself and my family. Farewell BWCA until next time - and Happy Paddling!